Your “I Didn’t Want To Win Anyway!” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Guh! My money team that rampaged thru the regular season and was then decimated by injuries is being destroyed in the championship. I’d have liked to have thrown numerous tantrums yesterday while watching the carnage unfold but I was in The Land of the Lost Internet. ‘Tis truly a god-awful place. Many thanks to yeah right for filling in at the (very) last moment.

Fallout:

-Who gets a well-deserved rest next week? This year’s likely MVP, that’s who. Lamar! There’s all sorts of differing criteria floating around out there as to who should win but when you use the ‘my opinion counts the most’ metric, Lamar! comes out ahead.

-Thar be all kinds of silly scenarios as to who is in/out and where they stand. I’ll just say that no matter what happens the Bills are the #5 seed.

-Marshawn Lynch is saying ‘Howdy!” to the decimated Seahawks today. I was surprised to learn he is only 33. With a little bit of time with Seattle’s trainers, I’ll bet he can get into ‘grabbing his crotch while jumping backwards into the end zone’ shape by early next week.

-The Cowboys Mrs. Garrett continues to have difficulty marrying the talents of Natalie, Jo, Tootie and Blair. Rumor has it that she’ll be looking for another job next year.

TO THE GAME!

Packers/Vikes:

Mine own opinion is that Green Bay is the most vulnerable playoff team in the NFC. Their D doesn’t scare anyone and their O has not a one playmaker. In ‘Piling On News’, A-Rodge has a 5.9 yards per pass attempt stat and a 59% completion rate these last four weeks. He does tend to go thru these troughs lately and it’s anyone’s guess as to when/if he comes out of it this year. Minny has to do the ‘win out’ thingy because even if they win the Pack has the tie-break.

Do as you will.

 

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JerBear50

Jesus this is some awful football. Only thing making it more palatable is muting it and listening to Artie Lange’s new podcast. Artie interviewing Lenny Dykstra is some interesting listening.

Col. Duke LaCross

Hey Robin….

Spur

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Redshirt

Ah, John Wick AKA

A Dog’s Purpose II: A Proportional Response

WCS

Through some accidental trick, I figured out the issue with the DVD player’s audio issue that’s been screwed up since we moved in. Don’t ask me how, but it’s working now.

IT’S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

herodotus450

Just press the tv/vcr button a few times. And maku sure it’s on channel 3.

JerBear50

edit

Col. Duke LaCross

Why take a timeout there?

Goddammit, the Bears are inept, but the Vikings are just fucking stupid.

Redshirt

All gifts are wrapped. All foods are made. Except for a few last minute Amazon packages due tomorrow, all Christmas prep work is done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz60gxd5D9A

WCS

Redshirt (artist’s conception):
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Unsurprised

Hey
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hippofant

There… there’s another woman there, and I would very much like to know what is going on.

Unsurprised

WRASSLIN!

Unsurprised
hippofant

That is not how I remember the Ultimate Warrior looking.

Redshirt

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litre_cola

Ummm, that looked a little bit interferencey to me.

Gratliff

lololololol

Gratliff

3 man rush instasack. Whose wife did Kirk fuck?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Not me.”

-Kirk’s actual wife.

The Maestro

Sens win, chaos in football, and I’m drinking beer that I didn’t have to purchase. Yes, I’d say life is pretty good, folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Sens probably ice it withe rare “delayed penalty cum awarded empty net goal” but this Eichel kid,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql9-82oV2JE

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Here are 3 thoughts:
1. Mike Boone needs to stop running into brick walls.
2. There’s good Kirk and bad Kirk. We’re getting bad Kirk tonight which means a backbreaking loss is in our destiny.
3. I’m actively wishing for Booger and Tessitore to spontaneously combust in the booth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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…… good Kirk and bad Kirk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Roommate Commander came home and suggested we watch Die Hard and wrap presents. I have trained her well.

herodotus450

Die Hard is a roommates movie don’t try to convicne me otherwise

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Would have accepted; Die Hardcore Sex Part 3 A XXX

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure anything makes me change the channel faster than an appearance by Chris Berman.

litre_cola

I thought Berman retired. What the fuck is this shit?

Horatio Cornblower

Probably has to pay the bills for the lawsuits against his late wife.

https://www.courant.com/news/connecticut/hc-news-berman-fatal-state-police-report-20180830-story.html

Brocky

That’s….. actually pretty sad

Horatio Cornblower

Getting a local ad for mammograms, which hardly seems like the MNF demographic.

Horatio Cornblower

Folks.

Gratliff

Rags getting absolutely undressed by Flyera in the third. You hate to see it.

litre_cola

All 10 people who entered their picks in the DFO pool picked Minnesota. Anti-AAron if ya ask me.

herodotus450

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Fronkenshteen

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herodotus450

Ah, my commission of “The Modern Last Supper” is finally here!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Reckon orange man is thinking “Please leave please leave please leave Fox and Friends is on.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

haven’t seen that one before. Fookin’ brilliant.

Redshirt

On the bright side, with Evangelicals lowering the bar so much, it means most of us should be able to make the cut when we die and answer for our sins.

Fronkenshteen

Mike Boone, if you have ANY juice in your legs, nows the time.

Fronkenshteen

This drive will end in the paint.

herodotus450

Not sure why but it bugs me that Buffalo teams use a buffalo as their team symbol/mascot despite also having another nickname. Either way, Scotchy’s Sens give up the tying goal to the Sabers, 1-1.

litre_cola

What about their AAA ball team the Buffalo Bisons. Mind. Blown.

herodotus450

And I think Buffalo University is the Buffalo Bulls

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s like saying panini sandwich, or ATM machine.

Spur

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Gratliff

Just a beauty of a pick

Spur

Does Cousins always look this panicked?

hippofant

Do you mean his face? Tha’ts just his face.

Spur

Come on Kill RODGERS!

Fronkenshteen

fuck. Boone is a bust.

Spur

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Spur

Hahahahahaha
Rodgers tried to get a flag and got thumped instead

Fronkenshteen

Rodgers is going deep here. Knock it down.

Spur

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WCS

Can the yeah rights and Big Daddy Drew’s win the NFC North with a win?

Spur

BOOOOM!!!!!

Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

It’s this kind of hard work that will ensure the Vikings beat Aaron Rodgers tonight.

Keep it up!

Fronkenshteen

Bundle of fucking nerves. Mike Boone? Mike Boone.

Spur

It cant be a 3 Deep reunion without Riley Reid and Double headed dildo

Spur

Come on Viking Bros. Kick the crap out of Rodgers

Spur

Hey Rodgers, what did you buy your mom for Christmas?

WCS

Artist’s conception:
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Spur

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Col. Duke LaCross

She takes her vitamins.

Spur

I realize Dallas lost from the lack of sexy pics in the DFO threads.
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ballsofsteelandfury

EXACTLY!

Spur

Folks

WCS

Gene has been promoted from Cinnabon manager to mall manager:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vgeGwg-ja4&ab_channel=llama74656

Plus, Taco as Krampus!

Redshirt

I’ve been accused of Fandom Heresy by rooting for my team to lose, or tie once they hit overtime and they said a tie would’ve clinched as well. As a jury of my peers, am I Guilty as Charged or am I Not Guilty by Reason of Draft Position?

https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/28355186

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean if you’re ever rooting for your team to not win it’s heresy, in my book. Draft position is *consolation* – it should never be a goal, no matter how shitty your season is. I wouldn’t turn on my team if they purposely tanked, but I certainly would never root for them to do it.

Horatio Cornblower

Counterpoint: What else is he gonna do? Root for the Bengals to win?

herodotus450

Counter-counterpoint: It will be less devastating when the Bengles fuck up the number 2 pick, instead of the number 1 pick.

Horatio Cornblower

“Why not trade both!?” -Mike Brown

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re a RAIDERS fan, for fucks sake! You should root for losses as at least your wishes would come true.

Spur

I routinely bet against Dallas on parleys.

Fronkenshteen

Want a stress test? Hang out with an 8 year old after 7 pm. Within 10 minutes your blood will be fucking BOILING.

Redshirt

Try being around my family around Christmas time. People have turned into supervillains over less.

TheRevanchist

Remember, it’s not for you. It’s growth for them and helping them to develop social skills. You are doing good. Just drink heavily and nod a lot.

Spur

my attorney has advised against me spending anytime with a minor

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s raining in Los Angeles. It’s a good thing a lot of people took the week off because traffic could have been ten times worse.

Spur

Rained most of day in Vegas. It started right when i left the office to head home.

Redshirt

Due to typical Christmas-time weather of 50°, I grilled out for the last time of the season…again. At this rate, I’ll be opening up the pool by New Years.

(quasi-NSFW for All Mighty Side Boob and being one frame away from a R rating)

h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEsr_DALe9A

herodotus450

Also all the best teams are in hockey action tonight. A veritable glut.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got the Caps and Boston on dvr’ing type thingy. I’ll watch when the niece finally gives up the TV and goes to sleep.

NO SPOILERS!!!!!!