TO THE GAMES!

Potato Skins/Cowblergs:

This is one of the rare times that I’ll be cheering for Dallas. With a win I’m sure that Jerrah will retain Princeton Red ( He gives the organization a little bit of class and shit ) thus ensuring that all the talent assembled will be squandered for yet another year.

Dregs/Snorty Horsies:

Thank heavens the season isn’t just 15 games long otherwise Hippo would rub Denver’s 6-9 record in my face the entire offseason. And he wouldn’t even have the decency to take the briefest of showers beforehand.

Unscary Bird/Vishnu Avatars:

Arizonny ambushed Seattle last week and is now in line for the 9th pick in the draft. The Rams thought that Jalen Ramsay was the cherry on top of the piece de resistance so they have all kinds of squat in the 1st round.

Smeagols/Gollums:

Both qbs are comin’ in hot! and are facing septenaries (yeah, I had to look that up) that are ready to-much like your ex-lay down and wait for it to be over while thinking about that bartender with the engaging smile and dreamy blue eyes. Or were they green? I’ll have to go back and see him again. I wonder which gym he goes to? [makes obligatory ‘uh’ noise] Where was I? Oh yeah, it’s obvious he takes care of himself and I need to start if I’m moving on from this dead end. If he talks about The Mandalorian again I’m going to shriek!

Old Guns/Shahid The Beds:

I was sure this game was gonna be flexed to the dark side of the moon.

Warholians/Poesers:

Baltimore is apparently resting a fair good’em number of starters and that’s a smart thingy because 1. risk of serious injury, 2. risk of getting banged up, 3. risk of the Pitt D perhaps providing a template as to how to defend that juggernaut of an O. I mean, someone’s gonna figure out how to limit its effectiveness at some point, right? (my money is on Belichick next year)

Nashvillians/Redundant Name Here:

Los Tits had (much like Derrick Henry) a good run right on up until (much like Derrick Henry) the wheels fell off. Like the Packers on the other side, the Texans certainly have the feel of a one and doner come the playoffs.

Do your thing.