Your AFC Divisional Round Playoff Game Open Thread

There are certain commentors here that are emotionally challenged, er, invested, I meant to say ‘invested’ in this game and they should be out in force tonight. Don’t forget to put on your kid gloves before engaging them-they’re in a vulnerable position right now what with everything on the line and all.

TO THE GAME!

Titans/Ravens:

-Rb Mark Ingram was ‘limited’ in practice late this week but he’ll play. Not sure how effective he’ll be. Maybe we’ll get a handful of Gus Edwards! That’s sticky.

-Speaking of running backs, there’s a broad-shouldered guy that has hoisted his team up there. Earlier in the year I pointed out that Oh Henry! wasn’t human and I stand by that observation. He’s got to do everything and a lot more in order to bulldoze his way to the W. There’s a real danger that the Ravens big, physical and aggressive D-line pushes Tennessee’s front backwards more often than not.

-I don’t think the Titans can win with Henry getting twice more yards on the ground than Tannyhill did through the air. There has to be a few long, successful deep shots to A.J. Brown in order for Baltimore to loosen up. I don’t think they’ll play the Belichick game of ‘let Henry get his and we’ll shut down everyone else’. They’ll get after it.

-The Ravens just have too much talent, right? That pass game that has to have an impact for the Titans meets up with two All Pros in Peters and Humphrey.

-Prediction Time. Henry finally succumbs but not before going out with a fight. Ravens 33 Tits 17.

Go Ahead. Make my night.

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King Hippo

yeah, Ratbirds still winning this

Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably.

Mr. Ayo

Only if they move LAMAR! to receiver.

King Hippo

OOF, called timeout too soon

Spur

Am guessing Lamar got his teammates all shitty gifts.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Most professional athletes are notoriously shitty tippers, I can imagine that bleeds over to gift-giving too.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Little America ad for Amazon cuts off before ICE agents round all the foreigners up and throws their kids in cages and deports them to a different country than that from which they fled.

King Hippo

Drops by representatives of each squadron

Gratliff

Eagles Memorial Divisional Round

King Hippo

#GoneButNotForgotten

Gratliff

Guess we’re rooting for Tits now

Dick E. Phuck

They have a fucking tank in the backfield

King Hippo

El Tractorcito En Vivo!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

He sure Gronked Earl Thomas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCaVUCg2W_A

Viva La Tabula Raza

Did I just hear How Soon is Now by the Smiths on the stadium speaker at kickoff?

litre_cola

I have no issue with that. Embrace the sadness that is Morrissey Ratbird fans.

yeah right

Congrats Santa Clara.
You were better prepared and won the game outright.
Now best the damn Seahawks would you?

Doktor Zymm

They best do

Spur

I call this Ravens Offense, Dolittle

Senor Weaselo

Because they can talk to animals?

Unsurprised

All they see are little birdies

Spur

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Impressive defensive play from Tits D

King Hippo

14-6 at half, and it’s still a coinflip. 21-3, and it’s GAME BLOUSES

litre_cola

I got Tits and the under….

King Hippo

a Ratbird cover seems almost implausible now

Mr. Ayo

That’s what I picked, so it was already so at kickoff.

King Hippo

Holy cats, this is some good front 7-ing

hippofant

Is some Ravens OL giving off a tell again or what?

King Hippo

one wonders

Viva La Tabula Raza

You aren’t getting that flag, Lamar. Too much melatonin and not enough mela-Tawmy-in.
—Cam

Mr. Ayo

So playoff LAMAR! is a thing?

(Mods please delete, thanks in advance)

Spur

How long until the home fans start throwing crabs on the field?

SonOfSpam

/stretches calves, does jumping jacks

– J. Winston

Spur

/gets on the field, throws interception

– J. Winston

herodotus450

When I ascend as God-Emperor of Spice and the Universe, I’ll transcend backward through time and snuff out whichever line of life it was that first thought to besmirch freckles. Then what a glorious future will await us.

LemonJello

That’s not spice.
comment image

Senor Weaselo

You have competition on spice and there can be only one.

hippofant

I can’t stop watching Better Off Ted clips now. I gotta find the episodes again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMy5YpJysy4

King Hippo

is it off Netflix? That’s where I saw it (based on my best friend from engineering school’s recommend)

hippofant

Not sure. I rarely use Netflix.

Really wish the show had gone on. Really reminded me a lot of Newsradio except even more biting.

King Hippo

before its time, fo sho

Unsurprised

Indeed. That, Happy Endings, Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apt 23.

True genius is never recognized in its own time.

Spur

That large human the Tits have is going to run over some birds now.

Dick E. Phuck

Large human? Tits? Snoo-Snoo?

Unsurprised

Curveball: Those are man-titties

Viva La Tabula Raza

Results thus far no surprise, as our dear leader has let us know that Balmer is a disgusting, rat-bird and rodent infested mess, a very dangerous & filthy place. Tennessee, OTOH, is “the greatest state,” based upon his electoral college win there.

SonOfSpam

Dean Pees calling plays.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope he washed his hands first.

Mr. Ayo

That’s not necessary

— M. Alou

King Hippo

u can nevar trust a SETH, Lamar!

SonOfSpam

Receivers really helping out LAMAR here.

hippofant

That’s because he’s not a LEADER. You have to have the INTANGIBLES to be a quarterback, a REAL leader of MEN.

Dick E. Phuck

I do like the use of Rush outro music there RIP Neil

Fronkenshteen

Tits – 48ers supe would be over in 2 hours.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice. Tom Sawyer for bumper music. RIP Neal.

Bogdanski

I heard it on the early game too. Lots of av nerds out there.

Spur

The Ravens fans are so quiet you can hear a gunshot right now.

King Hippo

$50 ML bet on the Tits WOO!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s the o/u on how many people Fozz has punched in the last three minutes?

King Hippo

Infinity -2

Senor Weaselo

The number is “yes.”

SonOfSpam

His own sons or others?

Mr. Ayo

I’ll still want to be your bookie.

King Hippo

as well ye should

SonOfSpam

Going to commercial with Rush playing is nice. Good job, someone at CBS.

Sharkbait

NBC dropped some Rush earlier.

SonOfSpam

Every network tech guy is probably a Rush fan. That is not an insult.

Sharkbait

As well they should be

Fronkenshteen

Ho lee fuk

Dick E. Phuck

I think these tits are actually quite exquisite.

King Hippo

#RealAndSpectacular

Viva La Tabula Raza

Far fucking out.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, them Tits are on fire!

litre_cola

You at Patpong market Zymm?

King Hippo

Kings of Leon nods

SonOfSpam

Ah yes, as expected, a key score from…Kalif Raymond.

litre_cola

Oh Don T will be loving this at the Burger King.

Fronkenshteen

Occupate?

LemonJello

How strong a smell of burnt toast is Fouts smelling on a constant basis?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Since my guys are banging their significant others this weekend instead of playing football, I’m gonna have pull for HOU or TEN (also, ex-HOU) to represent the AFC in SB LIV. Love to see KC’s near-50 year run of futility continue, and I’ve hated BAL since I lived in MD 50 years ago and that buck-toothed crew-cut Unitas mothahfuckah was their QB.

Sharkbait

I was on team chaos, but that ended with the Vikings getting bounced

Spur

Fuck it, am throwing it deep – Fanny

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh yeah, this is going swimmingly.
Holy shitsnacks.

LemonJello

Tannyfanny: “Fuck it. I’m going deep.”

Mr. Ayo

RIP Ratbirds.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup

Mr. Ayo

I knew I read too many LAMAR! fluff pieces this week. Dammit.

Dick E. Phuck

Michael Bloomberg is like that uncle in Jewish families who comes into a lot of money and act like haughty pricks when they come over for Passover seder.

Spur

The Tits are one confident group.

King Hippo

First 4th and 1 stop v. BAL all season? Yeah, that’ll puff one up.

/and now THAT

Sharkbait

Confident tits are best tits

Petronel

So far, they seem to have reason to be.

hippofant
BC Dick

Titans are playing great D right now. I havent seen any answers from the ravens. It’s going to be on Jackson to throw it. Wonderful stuff.

King Hippo

if you’re gonna beat the Ratbirds, you have to out-physical them. Tits are capable of such.

BC Dick

They seem capable indeed. I underestimated them. They’re missing a big run defending starter too I think. LB or S? They should still be called the Oilers though.

King Hippo

I did not deserve a bonus pill today, but I took it anyway.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Deserve’s got nuthin’ to do with it.

SonOfSpam

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man’s playoff hopes. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.”
“Yeah, well, I guess they had it coming.”
“We all got it coming, kid.”

Doktor Zymm

It’s your third day of playoff football gift to yourself!

King Hippo

Playoff season is kind of a Hanukkah of sorts!

Sharkbait

Right about now is where I regret cutting the cord

SonOfSpam

Yeah, some days you wanna be attached to your mother for life.

Spur

Just do it, she was a bitch anyways – Rodgers

hippofant