Hey, it’s the thing the title said! Yeah, one round done and the nice thing is that it’s not mid-March and it hasn’t been a slog and we can hammer out the second round in four days and be at our Salty 16 while we’re still wondering why the First Four games are in Dayton and not Wichita. WE DEMAND MAXIMUM NEUTRALITY.

But with neutrality.

Onto recapping the first round of the GAMBLOR Region, which will be the four matchups of the day.

64. “Only thing wetter than this Ravens-Steelers game is my wife seeing the Witcher in the tub.” beats 17. “I haven’t seen this much scrutiny over a black man touching a piece of metal since the OJ trial.” 21-11.

27. “You’d think everybody would remember the name of the jockey who became famous for riding Cigar, but all everyone ever talks about when it comes to that subject is Monica Lewinsky.” beats 43. “‘I aspire to write as infrequently as this DTZM fella’ -George R.R. Martin’” 20-11.

50. “THIS AARON DONALD I CALL HIM PEYTON MANNING IN THE TRAINING ROOM BECAUSE HE’S GOING TO DROP THE SACK ON YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL AND NO ONE WILL DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.” beats 6. “LA is the trickle-down economics of sports: as an idea, it’s stupid, ignorant, and wrong. But every decade or so, it gets an awful lot of traction.” 18-13.

44. “Touchdown, Mohammad. NO, NBC! DON’T SHOW HIS PICTURE!” beats 9. “According to TMZ it was a $59 an hour massage parlor. Somewhere Mike Brown is applauding his fellow cheapskate owner.” 19-8.

56. “The Bengals have a bye next week. They’re three point underdogs.” beats 36. “All this talk locally about the passing of Pat Bowlen… just goes to show you that one should go ahead and pay for a higher quality and more discreet massage parlor handjobs.” 26-5.

20. “THIS AAF, I CALL IT A LOT OF MY RELATIONSHIPS, BECAUSE IT GOT OFF TO A GOOD START, BUT WHEN THE MONEY RAN OUT IT WAS ALL OVER.” beats 42. “The Peloton going downhill at incredible speed reminds me of Eli Manning’s last three seasons.” 15-12.

49. “The Dolphins just announced that their entire roster will be listed as Questionable for next week. They’re not injured, just really fucking questionable.” beats 61. “Chase Young is a great football player in addition to being the job description for Jerry Sandusky.” 15-12.

11. “We have to wait to vote? What are we, black people in GOP-controlled states?” beats 26. “Tan Son Nhut Air Base has been renamed Adrian Peterson International.” 18-10.

They’ll be paired off in the order posted, which gives us these polls to vote on now!

Yes, vote now!