Tom Brady: ‘I Want To Thank All The Insufferable New England Fans For Giving Me A Reason To Get The Hell Out Of Here’ https://t.co/UM3Hgl9rGM pic.twitter.com/Ire8Jd0z2K
— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 17, 2020
NFL Noise: (please keep in mind I typed this up earlier today – I’ve changed what I could.)
The big news of the day is that Dreamboat announced by social media that he’s not going back to the Patriots.
So now the speculation begins:
- Is Robert Kraft just Jerry Richardson with a better vocabulary?
- “[O]ut of respect for the relationship we’ve built, I gave him his freedom.”
- Is it all an attempt to get his price increased?
- Is it the “high road” for when the fine, measured folks of Boston begin attributing blame?
- Did Tampa Bay really offer a 42 year-old QB $38 million per season?
- Is it really just the Bucs & Chargers making bids, and might that actually push him back to the Patriots?
And thanks to a reminder from Horatio, we’ll always have this:
https://twitter.com/HoratioCornblo3/status/1239970034404839427
Of course, there are other factors which will have an impact on what occurs:
- Drew Brees, as expected, re-signed with the Saints.
- Two years for $50 million.
- The estimated home-team discount is about $8 million, based on DAK’s $33 million franchise tag & the fact it’s the exact same yearly amount as his 2018 contract.
- Two years for $50 million.
- Drew Brees’ return + the Taysom Hill tag guarantees Teddy Bridgewater is going somewhere else.
- One report has him negotiating with the Panthers.
- A NESN report has the Patriots looking to sign him.
- The Teddy to Charlotte
rumourfact ispossiblywhy the Panthers have allowed Cam Newton to seek a trade.- Which was clearly not Cam’s idea:
Cam Newton setting the record straight, just like Greg Olsen had to do. pic.twitter.com/ODwUUG9i4x
— Joe Person (@josephperson) March 17, 2020
- If the Bears make a play for Cam, or even Teddy Bridgewater as some reports suggest, possibly Nick Foles, or even Andy Dalton, then Mitch Trubisky becomes available on the open market.
- All of which proves without saying it that the Bears have finally admitted their mistake in drafting Trubisky.
What all that does is muddy the waters for where TAWMMY will land, because there is now more in play than just him, and the trickle-down effect of subsequent decision based on one move.
The official announcement on his landing spot will come after the new league year starts at 4:00PM ET.
Other, non-Brady related news:
- Robert Quinn has left the Cowboys for the Bears.
- Five years & $70 million to play alongside Akiem Hicks & Khalil Mack.
- Aaron Rodgers & Kirk Cousins gonna get HURT!
- Five years & $70 million to play alongside Akiem Hicks & Khalil Mack.
- Jimmy Graham has signed with the Bears.
- Two years at $16 million, with $9 million guaranteed.
- Jason Witten will sign with the Raiders.
- It’s a one-year deal, terms undisclosed.
- Marmalard has agreed to terms with the Colts.
- He will sign for one year at $25 million effective 4:01PM Wednesday.
Today’s [DFO] “dog of the day” comes courtesy of litre_cola’s twitter recommendation.
https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob1/status/1239889937182449665
Those are good doggies.
Tonight’s … entertainment?
- Democratic Primary results – 8:00PM | various news channels
- Ohio might have cancelled, but Arizona, Florida & Illinois have got results to argue about.
- A bunch of other states have now moved their primaries to mid- to late-June.
- The Russian Five – 8:00 PM | NBCSN
- In the 1980s, the Detroit Red Wings tried an unusual strategy to improve their failing team–extracting players from the Soviet Union. While the players faced challenges integrating into a new culture, the team ultimately won the Stanley Cup, and in the process, built a dynasty that lasted almost two decades.
- John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – 9:15 PM | HBO
- The third entry of the franchise sees John Wick on the run with a bounty placed on him after he kills a member of an underground assassin’s guild. With every hitman in the world hot on his trail, he enlists the help of a trusted ally to fight.
- I didn’t much care for it, but it’s still great escapism from the End Times we currently inhabit.
- Ink Master – 10:00 PM | Paramount
- SEASON 13 • EPISODE 12 • FROM TOAST TO TOAST
- After last week’s shocking elimination, the Artists’ shading techniques are put to the test in a monumentally difficult Elimination Tattoo.
- SEASON 13 • EPISODE 12 • FROM TOAST TO TOAST
Guess we’re all spending St. Patrick’s Day at home. Good luck, don’t spill the Bushmills, and keep it civil.
Still planning on going to work tomorrow.
I guess I could work from home but how many web-ex courses can you take without going insane.
Here in Montreal, as everyone is hunkering down in social isolation, I’m at work. In a gigantic empty building in the Pointe Sainte Charles neighborhood of Montreal, because there’s no one else here except a few, and we have our own whisky and beer, and there are no germs around us.
It has struck me that here in the third day of an unprecedented self-enforced social isolation, on-line communities such as DOOR FRIES OPEN can be a needed lifeline to the outside world. As a trusted member of DOOR FRIES OPEN I would be privileged to introduce you to the exciting world of Amway prod
/transmission cut
“How ‘bout Buddhism?”
“Jews for Jesus?”
“Scientology?”
“Help Jerry’s kids?”
The Carolina Hurricanes have been running ads all week trying to get me to buy tickets. In spite of the fact that they aren’t playing any games. That seems like a waste of what little money they have left, but who am I to judge?
I’ll double their offer if you burn their stadium to the ground and then salt the earth.
But then NC State Basketball would have nowhere to play and….
OK, deal.
Great song from the season premiere of ‘Westworld’. Will it be the best thing that comes out of the season? Given Season 2, quite possibly, but what the hell, at least it’s not a pandemic amirite?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWgOduFM
We were told that we should plan on going “5-days-in-office and 5-days-work-from-home” over the normal 10 day pay period so we can project some normalcy (to whom, I fucking wonder). I realized on the way home today that, no, fuck that, I’m going to work from home for the next couple weeks. Not going to risk my fucking health so some fucking colonel looks good for attendance. I’ve been working at home since mid-December and my surgery, have good practice at it. If they don’t like it, I have 6 weeks of regular leave and 2 weeks of sick leave that I will just fucking burn to the ground if they want to force the issue.
Fuuuuck alll the stooooocks…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtE3_voC3qU
SHUT UP JOE!!!!!
“Ixnay on the acculateimay onceptioncay.”
I genuinely LOLed then guffawed. Well played.
A green anus waking you up is never NOT funny.
Tell that to Freddie Mercury.
Hey, hey hey…..How ’bout a song!?!?!?!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5bzrb-v9Y0
I’ve known two cats, both male, both about one year old, who were very proud of their buttholes. It’s a cat thing I guess.
I had one the same way. He became affectionately known as “Mr. One Eye”.
At least Ohio isn’t Kentucky. Look at who those idiots elected.
Don Mattingly was so goddamn good.
Donnie Baseball. I hate that guy.
But yeah, he was damned good.
Today is my mother’s 80th Birthday. I called her and wished her well, and told her that although I had not had the stones to actually look, I am sure that I will not be able to retire until I die now. Maybe her and my dad can die earlier than planned and I can live off that inheritance for a year or two.
None of us are retiring at 65 unless we develop an incredible fondness for a diet of cat food and water.
My 201k will recover!
I’m just planning suicide when the money runs out.
Probably a month or so from now.
Just looked; it’s now a 101k.
The only bright side for me is that I still have my government job which pays well. But I don’t have a great deal of confidence in even getting paid for that, going forward. Martial law, canceled elections, coronation of new monarch and dissolution of both Houses of Congress, civil war. All Coming Soon!
Last one of the evening. A truly outstanding IPA.
?w=700&h=665
Also it’s green, so I talked myself into having one more than I planned. It was a short conversation; what, am I gonna be late for work tomorrow?
No damned wonder there are no masks in the stores.
I think she is just distributing them……..
Just can’t post the result.
‘S funny, but as a person with a German surname that is the same as that of the gay guy that got mauled by the white tiger in Vegas a couple years back, and with a mother that would not let my dad name me “Baron Vaughan” (God I would have had my ass kicked from K through 12) but was entirely happy with the names Brian and Keith to precede that surname, I just want to say I wish my birth certificate name were Bob Smith.
Does that mean we should start calling you Roy?
He is indeed our boy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU
Monday Plant Meeting:
“The most important thing is if you feel sick, don’t show up to work and put everyone at risk. You’re jobs will not be at risk and you can use your Vacation Time without prior approval. Bottom line, if you feel sick, don’t show up here at work.”
(this morning)
Boss: “Redshirt, can you do two peoples jobs? We had to send them home because they showed up sick at work.”
This is why the Coronavirus is as bad as it is; because you can’t fix stupid.
Just surprised they sent the two sick people home.
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY!
I’m hammered, at work, because there’s no where else to go.
I’m usually hammered at work because of crippling alcoholism, but to each their own.
Stupid Ohio (sorry Redshirt)
You get used to it.
We’re the Charlie Brown of states. We’re perpetually unlucky, everyone talks bad about us to our face and for some reason that defies all logic we’ve made peace with it.
You know we love you. I mean not like THAT. But let’s not rule anything out.
I’m sure Alabama would argue with your statement if they could read it.
Before he nailed the kick move.
I just saw that all the LA Lakers are going to be tested because they played in Brooklyn recently.
I couldn’t help but wonder…. TESTED FOR WHAT EXACTLY?????
Any other year, that wouldn’t be much of a story.
Math test?
Here’s a math test…
If you’re flying a helicopter in the fog with about a quarter mile visibility, over a mountain, and you bank really hard to the port side….
How long does it take to hit the terrain and kill Kobe Bryant?
Bengals did something?! Did Mike Brown’s kids infect him with Coronavirus to get rid of him?!
I recorded that video for private use!
Nothing stays private on scratchnsniff.ru
No shame; she’s HOT…… and expensive.
*unless you have the coupon from Value-pak.
You’re into scratchy blanket porn too? That’s itchy, man.
Oh shit, this is the pine tar game. Man the Yanks got fucked on that one. Never really recovered from that game, which also launched those great Royals teams that won all those WS in the late mid-to-late 80’s.
Just kidding. The Yanks did get screwed but in the long arc of history it matters not. Much like no one will remember Covid-19 in 4 billion years as the sun expands and absorbs all life on Earth.
Try getting a vaccine for that, motherfucker.
Looking for Hippo’s concurrence here. I guess Earth Abides, except when the sun goes supernova.
As a professional geologist (Texas Board of Professional Geologists #2470 [or 2740, I can never remember]), I must take the long view. We’re all gonna die, and a new dominant lifeform will arise on this planet, although it will probably take a couple hundred million more years.
Earth Abides was righteous as fuck.
Oh, there’s no way humanity in its current form makes it to the Sun going supernova. No fucking way at all.
Shit, we might not make it to Halley’s Comet’s next pass through at the rate we’re going.
I’m worried we might not make it through the next election cycle.
Yes, let us all shed a tear for the Yankees. Right after my candlelight vigil for the patriots and the telethon for the red wings.
To be clear, I’m absolutely kidding. I’ve rooted for the Yankees since ’76 and I’ve seen 7 WS titles. No other fan base can say that, and any Yankee fan that seriously complains should be flogged.
HONKEY LINE CHANGE!!!!!
(am i the only one who misses sprts?)
Diamond Joe completes the sweep. Feels weird to say…but huzzah, Florida and Arizona!
Ohio is sitting in the corner.
Ohio is sitting in the corner smoking meth.
FTFY
Well, the state economy has to survive somehow.
meth mouth IS good FOAR social distancing ,, ppl forget that
OK… now THAT was funny.
So ummm…Bernie did good tonight huh?
MLB is showing an old Yankees game. It’s got Dave Winfield and Steve Kemp, so I know they’re not winning a World Series.
Dale Murray! Steve Balboni! Roy Smalley! How did they not win all the WS during the 80’s!?
I’m still pissed I ate a vegan pizza and got the the shits and couldn’t drive to SD and go and get my Ken Caminiti bobblehead.
YOU KNOW THERE WAS DRUGS IN THOSE THINGS!!!!!
Plastic trash cans.
That’s no way to talk about the late Mr. Caminiti, sir.
Something that’s going to get lost in all this is the fucking vile (more so than usual!) activity of ICE going after immigrants when they either seek medical attention or basic needs. It gets the proper response in the moment, but it’s always followed by them repealing the 14th amendment to slow the virus or some shit and people aren’t going to remember it in the chaos. Looking forward to their children being ashamed to ever admit what their parents did for a living. Absolute scumfucks.
really is revolting
Amazing how quickly they adapted to the new orders.
perfectly suited for the Trumpist era
My country is in the shitter.
Wait, was ICE friendly before Donald took over?
They were held somewhat in check by…. the law.
Fuck ICE. Too dumb to be military, not in good enough shape to be cops.
But aware enough to exploit desperate people under the table.
In these trying, uncertain times I regret that I have but one wet dream to give to my country tonight. GOOD NIGHT CANADA!
Primary is being called for Lipinski’s opponent, something of interest to any progressives in the Chicago area, as well as Hippo, who may or may not have had $50 riding on that result.
yeah baby!!! Abortions are on HIPPO 2nite!!!
As I mentioned before, each year I donate the average price of an abortion to Planned Parenthood, generally in the name of some anti-choice asshole. Which is worthwhile on a number of levels, but the thing that annoys me is that Planned Parenthood then sends letters every month asking me to do it again and I’m like “Look, I respect the work that you do, but I am not Antonio Cromartie”
That was worth the read for a good finish. You brought it all around. Didn’t see it coming.
“Didn’t see it coming.”
Just like Antonio Cromartie
It must have been weird for them to get a check in Lipinski’s name. “This is our money already!”