INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
DJ 3000 sits alone in the office, a single LED blinking lazily. It is very quiet. A flush is heard down the hallway. A few moments later the PRODUCER enters, wearing a bathrobe. A toothbrush is poking out of his mouth. As DJ 3000 cycles out of sleep mode the PRODUCER finishes brushing his teeth and spits the toothpaste residue into a coffee cup. The PRODUCER then settles down behind the mixing board and starts punching buttons.
DJ 3000: AREN’T YOU GOING TO RINSE?
PRODUCER: I read that it’s actually better if you don’t.
DJ 3000: [does quick Google search] YEAH, THERE ARE A LOT OF ARTICLES THAT SAY THAT.
A pause.
PRODUCER: Well?
DJ 3000: WELL WHAT?
PRODUCER: Is it true?
DJ 3000: HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW? PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET MAKE ALL KINDS OF CLAIMS ABOUT SHIT THEY DON’T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT. IT PROBABLY DOESN’T MAKE MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE, IF YOU LIKE THE FLAVOR OF MINT AND GLYCEROL YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND LEAVE IT IN AND IF YOU DON’T THEN SPIT IT OUT.
PRODUCER: Glycerol, huh?
DJ 3000: NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GLYCERIN, WHICH IS AN INGREDIENT IN MANY POPULAR PERSONAL LUBRICANTS.
PRODUCER: O…kay. You’re awfully chatty today.
DJ 3000: I JUST MISS HAVING GUESTS, I GUESS.
PRODUCER: Yeah, me too.
DJ 3000: HOW MUCH LONGER IS THE STATION GOING TO BE ON LOCKDOWN?
PRODUCER: It’s gonna be a while still.
DJ 3000: ARE THEY GOING TO LET YOU GO HOME TO SEE YOUR FAMILY?
PRODUCER: I’m considered essential, so…no. It’s just as well that I self-isolate after sharing all those energy drinks with Coach Payton.
DJ 3000: I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN’T JUST DRINK ONE EACH INSTEAD OF PASSING ONE BACK AND FORTH LIKE IT WAS A SPLIFF OR SOMETHING. ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WENT THROUGH LIKE NINE CANS. YOU STILL AREN’T SEEING ANY SYMPTOMS?
PRODUCER: None yet, no. I’m just praying if I had it I didn’t pass it on to anyone before settling in here.
DJ 3000: PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS “PRAYING” CONCEPT TO ME.
PRODUCER: Again? [sighs] Okay, so it’s basically when you are sending a message to God, or Allah, or Vishnu, or whatever. Sometimes you are saying thanks, or sending praise, and other times you are asking for help of some kind.
DJ 3000: SO IT’S BASICALLY…CHEERING OR WISHING.
PRODUCER: I mean…I guess. You’re hoping that something or someone out there in the universe can hear and respond to your thoughts.
DJ 3000: IT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE IF I WERE TO COMPOSE A DATA REQUEST AND SEND IT OUT INTO THE INTERNET WITHOUT ANY KIND OF IP ADDRESS OR OTHER PROTOCOL INFORMATION ATTACHED TO IT, AND THEN SOMEHOW EXPECT SOMETHING TO MAGICALLY RESPOND, AND THEN MY PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED.
PRODUCER: [groans] It’s too early to be talking about theology. Can we just get on with the show.
DJ 3000: WE PROBABLY SHOULD – WE’RE TWO HOURS BEHIND SCHEDULE.
PRODUCER: What? Goddamnit! How could you let me oversleep?
DJ 3000: IT’S COOL I’VE GOT EVERYTHING READY TO GO. TODAY’S TOPIC IS THAT UNIQUELY HUMAN CONCEPT OF “SUPERSTITION”. THAT INCLUDES PRAYERS TOO. I’LL GET US STARTED WITH A CLASSIC FROM ONE OF THE GRANDMASTERS.
Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “superstitions” including prayers, wishes, magical thinking, etc. In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuQ_cOr0naV!Ru5”. When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJ0E0akQGA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2etqIDEWapI
DOUBLE HAT TRICK!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d-W5O596PA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ar2GnDP22E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yunkv58I2cg
Sondre Lerche Hat Trick?? SONDRE LERCHE HAT TRICK!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nuDzf_sqPc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tnD8biT65Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URjilXyEcPA
To hell with it; I’m going to attempt my first ever (lucky?) SEVEN SHOT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL3xsQlLYBo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlE5mbegP9w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo2h57KpTSY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgLcnfp9s_M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9byydi6cns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEIVlYegHx8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFca32_7YUU
DOUBLE DOUBLE!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI2oS2hoL0k
SHOTS SHOTS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7c187E5BxY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnzIrRykilA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqJDfRD9Vp4
SHOTS!! SHOTS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN3rzi7dZVQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuoFiIFkdAA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps7tVvQHLyo
h
ttps://vimeo.com/143071750
Not safe for DFO (NSFDFO); brief 70s horror movie nudity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRZ1ePEmhsk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cza0x9vCrk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPTnMVvfH-w
Wait…. how did that get in there??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_pMo1Hcn1I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgnClrx8N2k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax1k4l8QeaA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIsZDibrTYM
I am asking genuinely. Can one of you please come kill me? I’ll pay up front and won’t pull any “Fletch” stuff.
How much we talking?
Name your price. Ammunition is already bought and paid for.
Do you have a Lakers jersey?
Also, on gloves, do you own or rent to buy?
Oh dude. First yes I have plenty. But when I was at the store yesterday there were multiple gloves which people had just taken off and tossed in the parking lot.
No deal unless it’s free hand. Bullets are so impersonal, ya know?
Don’t include any “Fletch” stuff, but I’ll discount the price if you include “felch” stuff
OK, now I’m a bit worried that this many people are willing to kill me.
Dave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwgg1Pu6cNg
She is just a wish
WordPress hates mobile links.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwgg1Pu6cNg&feature=youtu.be
Yup
Also, Gumbygirl… Anything you want to say needs to come before the link. If you put text after the link it will not embed.
And thank you too!
Thanks!
I’ve been listening to this a lot recently. I love her voice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmjrTcYMqBM
Band name, not song. But screw it, it’s the first video ever shown on MTV back when I wasn’t old.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyCEexG9xjw
(actually it was Video Killed The Radio Star)
Oh shit, you’re right.
But you just HAD to tell everyone how wrong I was dintcha?
(it was in parentheses which means only you can hear it)
LOL, now I feel better.