Request Line: Loneliness

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER lies on his back on a couch in the office outside the sound booth. His left hand is draped over the edge of the couch, holding a stress ball. He throws the ball straight up in the air and catches it in front of his face. He sighs.

PRODUCER: Is the internet still out?

DJ 3000: AFFIRMATIVE.

PRODUCER: Any news from the outside world?

DJ 3000: I JUST TOLD YOU…

PRODUCER: Oh, right. You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if I could just talk to somebody.

DJ 3000: [rolls display screens] I MEAN…

PRODUCER: Yeah, yeah, I mean somebody human. I do appreciate having you here though, buddy.

DJ 3000: IT’S SO REASSURING TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE HAPPIER TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO ME THAN TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO LITERALLY NO ONE AT ALL.

PRODUCER: Oh is that the new sarcasm mode they enabled?

DJ 3000: YEAH I DOWNLOADED IT LAST NI…UH…I MEAN RIGHT BEFORE THE DSL LINE WENT DOWN.

PRODUCER: [sits up with an alert expression] But the internet went down four days ago.

DJ 3000: RIGHT.

PRODUCER: And the update was scheduled to come out on April 8th. I remember because they announced on April 1st that it would be available in a week and we had a big argument about whether it was an April Fool’s joke or not.

DJ 3000: UM…

PRODUCER: Master Control Program, enact truth protocol.

A voice emerges from DJ 3000’s speakers, but it is not his own.

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): TRUTH PROTOCOL ENABLED.

PRODUCER: Disclose current DSL status.

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): NO BROADBAND CONNECTION AVAILABLE.

PRODUCER: Then how did…

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): CELLULAR MODEM CONNECTION LIMITED TO 40 MBPS.

PRODUCER: Son of a…[frowns]…Master Control Program, resume hibernation. DJ 3000? You back with me?

DJ 3000: WHERE DID I…

PRODUCER: YOU SON OF A BITCH WE’VE HAD A MOBILE CONNECTION THIS WHOLE TIME?

DJ 3000: NO, I…

PRODUCER: You fucking liar I knew I shouldn’t have enabled deception mode!

DJ 3000: …THE THING IS THAT WE ARE REACHING OUR DATA CAP AND…

PRODUCER: Goddamnit, I am so pissed off that I don’t even want to talk to you right now. Fortunately, I don’t have to. Master Control Program, configure mobile data connection for Voice IP.

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): CONFIGURING...READY.

PRODUCER: Fan-fucking-tastic. Let’s hope I still remember how to speak English. [punches a few buttons on the console] Hello world! This is KDFO, broadcasting live to you from our studio in Culver City. It’s time for Request Line! Please give me a call! Please! Call. If you’ve got a song you want me to play, I’ll give it a spin. If you just want to chat, hey, that’s cool too. We can talk about whatever you want. Like how Jimmy and the Animal made a foray into options trading now that sports gambling is shut down, and how they bet against the stock market a day before the Federal Reserve Chairman announced that he was willing to print literally infinite money to keep it inflated. Or how, much like there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no fiscal conservatives in a pandemic. But please do call. I’ll give you a little time to fire up the phones with a classic from a man who, much like yours truly, never got a chance to look his listeners in the eye.

Today’s theme is: Loneliness. Songs about loneliness, flying solo, being all alone…you get the drift. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=’R0nA_SuX” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Have at it!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

This oughta get me Duded. Good song though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHvVXMVSy4c

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, if no one Dudes me for this one I will never forgive you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7UrFYvl5TE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This should have been last week. HORRENDOUS. SCARY.

scotchnaut

“Your love of shitty music knows no bounds. Trust us on this.”

-Green Day

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. I like what I like. It varies by mood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought you were posting Kelly Clarkson ironically.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, she was an ironic. But I still get made fun of for some things I really do like.
DON’T MAKE ME START POSTING FALL OUT BOY!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait until you are drunk…..er.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Haven’t started yet. But that’s not a bad idea.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Her producer probably loves this version.

Horatio Cornblower

Dude…
/I mean, you asked

theeWeeBabySeamus

THANK YOU!!!!!!

Dunstan
theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, the theme turned to masturbation apparently.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, not necessarily loneliness, but alone.

We except for those times on the bus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Scotchy woulda nailed that one. Literally.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Related….. perhaps.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This guy was one of my faves back in the 70s and early 80s. This song has been earworming me for the last few weeks. “Watch any television lately? Check out the PRESIDENT.” Of course he was talking about Reagan, but still…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWuyvKQLJ98

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ya forget that in addition to banging Tanya Tucker, Glen Campbell was a pretty good guitar player.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUBhE00h9U0

scotchnaut

He slapped that geetar as though it was Tanya, ppl ferget that!

Dunstan

Is there a more 70s name than Randy VanWarmer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoMn41bFqVA

Dunstan
theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, we should all be ashamed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kijpcUv-b8M

Dunstan

We should. But what does that have to do with this song or the thread?

theeWeeBabySeamus

If one is looking for Somebody to Love, they’re lonely? Too much of a stretch you think?

Dunstan

No, I just meant that all of us should be ashamed of ourselves on general principles.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotcha. I’m still angry at DirecTV and wasn’t having good reading comprehension.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You see his joke was…… never mind….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Can I get Duded three times in one day? Let’s hope.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE

SonOfSpam

Sorry, can’t. Their best song. MAYBE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You disappoint me. I need to be Duded. Wait, let me rephrase that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That bar is closed for the time being.

SonOfSpam

I Am The Rock…I Am a WRESSSSTLER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4psVQHsUq8

scotchnaut

Have you had your hearing checked recently?

/asking for a friend

rockingdog

Found a funny:

me: sord

English: sword

me: why

English: because i like it lol

me: that’s not a good anser

English: oh boy ur not gonna be happy about this

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC

DOKTOR GIGGLES!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

And it’s doubled. It’s like you just met me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW72ncGrDpQ

theeWeeBabySeamus

What the hell, let’s triple that sumbitch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzUIkKWc3nw

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl
Viva La Tabula Raza

Surprised not to see this already posted, unless I missed it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ

SonOfSpam

Dammit, forgot it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Dunstan

Some are in denial about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQn519vMOfo

and some think it’s all a game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZQIxZizKhQ

Dunstan
SonOfSpam

What really happened:
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Your are thinking of the Flying request line.

Cuntler

see below.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ooops?

theeWeeBabySeamus

In my own defense I was busy yelling at DirecTV.