Request Line: Loneliness

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER lies on his back on a couch in the office outside the sound booth. His left hand is draped over the edge of the couch, holding a stress ball. He throws the ball straight up in the air and catches it in front of his face. He sighs.

PRODUCER: Is the internet still out?

DJ 3000: AFFIRMATIVE.

PRODUCER: Any news from the outside world?

DJ 3000: I JUST TOLD YOU…

PRODUCER: Oh, right. You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if I could just talk to somebody.

DJ 3000: [rolls display screens] I MEAN…

PRODUCER: Yeah, yeah, I mean somebody human. I do appreciate having you here though, buddy.

DJ 3000: IT’S SO REASSURING TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE HAPPIER TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO ME THAN TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO LITERALLY NO ONE AT ALL.

PRODUCER: Oh is that the new sarcasm mode they enabled?

DJ 3000: YEAH I DOWNLOADED IT LAST NI…UH…I MEAN RIGHT BEFORE THE DSL LINE WENT DOWN.

PRODUCER: [sits up with an alert expression] But the internet went down four days ago.

DJ 3000: RIGHT.

PRODUCER: And the update was scheduled to come out on April 8th. I remember because they announced on April 1st that it would be available in a week and we had a big argument about whether it was an April Fool’s joke or not.

DJ 3000: UM…

PRODUCER: Master Control Program, enact truth protocol.

A voice emerges from DJ 3000’s speakers, but it is not his own.

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): TRUTH PROTOCOL ENABLED.

PRODUCER: Disclose current DSL status.

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): NO BROADBAND CONNECTION AVAILABLE.

PRODUCER: Then how did…

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): CELLULAR MODEM CONNECTION LIMITED TO 40 MBPS.

PRODUCER: Son of a…[frowns]…Master Control Program, resume hibernation. DJ 3000? You back with me?

DJ 3000: WHERE DID I…

PRODUCER: YOU SON OF A BITCH WE’VE HAD A MOBILE CONNECTION THIS WHOLE TIME?

DJ 3000: NO, I…

PRODUCER: You fucking liar I knew I shouldn’t have enabled deception mode!

DJ 3000: …THE THING IS THAT WE ARE REACHING OUR DATA CAP AND…

PRODUCER: Goddamnit, I am so pissed off that I don’t even want to talk to you right now. Fortunately, I don’t have to. Master Control Program, configure mobile data connection for Voice IP.

DJ 3000 (MCP slave): CONFIGURING...READY.

PRODUCER: Fan-fucking-tastic. Let’s hope I still remember how to speak English. [punches a few buttons on the console] Hello world! This is KDFO, broadcasting live to you from our studio in Culver City. It’s time for Request Line! Please give me a call! Please! Call. If you’ve got a song you want me to play, I’ll give it a spin. If you just want to chat, hey, that’s cool too. We can talk about whatever you want. Like how Jimmy and the Animal made a foray into options trading now that sports gambling is shut down, and how they bet against the stock market a day before the Federal Reserve Chairman announced that he was willing to print literally infinite money to keep it inflated. Or how, much like there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no fiscal conservatives in a pandemic. But please do call. I’ll give you a little time to fire up the phones with a classic from a man who, much like yours truly, never got a chance to look his listeners in the eye.

Today’s theme is: Loneliness. Songs about loneliness, flying solo, being all alone…you get the drift. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=’R0nA_SuX” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Have at it!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Downfield Matriculator

Fuck it, I’m going deep (cuts)!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yolhf-14ECk

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m extremely unhappy with DirecTV. The system tried to update itself today and now has gotten stuck and won’t do shit. I called tech support after trying to reboot the system several times to no avail. They told me they couldn’t fix it but they’d arrange to have someone come out… In a week or so. First, you’re not sending anyone in my house. And even if I allowed that, a fucking week or so? Wow, and I thought CenturyLink was bad.

And no Jeopardy now. I miss my TeeVee box already. At least there’s no sprots to miss.

Looks like all the books I meant to read over the past few years will now come in handy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y2icHOgC5U

theeWeeBabySeamus

How much does it cost to cut the cord?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Careful when you divorce those assholes. They will fucking rip you off. Hopefully you are not in the middle of the “contract.”

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
ArmedandHammered
yeah right
ArmedandHammered

Excellent pick!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man that guy had an incredible voice. Until John Lennon came ’round.
https://www.suspectpress.com/2017/07/12/at-home-with-a-ghost-watching-harry-nilssons-voice-die/

Gumbygirl

I was in 6th grade, he was in 7th. His name was Kevin. When he dumped me for a girl with boobs, I cried all summer to this song.

Senor Weaselo

If it’s in the first line can we count it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuS5NuXRb5Y

Senor Weaselo

Some dickweed did a whole concert five years ago!
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLl0kPx2XyetcO5kRbk88embZktjfjIBf8

SonOfSpam

I don’t care what Trump said at the press conference…you have talent!

As someone who has sat through MANY violin/string performances, I can say without hesitation that you are far better than middle school kids (non-Asian division).

Plus, you’re a better person than Charlie Daniels.

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

15 year old me heard this song SO MANY TIMES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e157Ner90

LemonJello

Finally! Something Derek Carr can identify.

Sharkbait
ArmedandHammered

Sound is not great but the video is hilarious to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZZngTkp54I

SonOfSpam

comment image

ArmedandHammered

This should be our quarantine song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvDB_58ppNA

Sharkbait
LemonJello

Allow me:

“Dude.”

ArmedandHammered

Just one more country song, real country music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsRNCvHXHHU

Sharkbait
SonOfSpam

4 1/2 more than I need

SonOfSpam

Twofer comin (cummin? yeah cummin)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIHMPc6ZCuI

SonOfSpam
Sharkbait
SonOfSpam

Old lady panties gettin dampish now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql4IiP__5ck

Dunstan

Can’t believe I didn’t go directly there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude.

Dunstan

For those of us who enjoy a little solitude:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWwOEie7Eh0

SonOfSpam

Yeah, could do a whole buncha his stuff. Trump killed him never forget.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude.

Dunstan
theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice!!!!

SonOfSpam

Dude

theeWeeBabySeamus

Finally. It’s been weeks since you Duded me.

SonOfSpam

80s Heart deserves all the dudes

Dunstan

80s Heart GOT all the dudes. At least all the ones they wanted.

Dunstan
SonOfSpam

Nice. Saw them a few weeks before the world shut down. OLD!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So you have seen….. America.

SonOfSpam

Dunno, DeVito’s pretty funny.

SonOfSpam

AS ADVERTISED.

SonOfSpam

Still have no idea what the video’s about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVOuYquXuuc

Dunstan

Was just about to post that. I especially love the man-perm and open shirt with dangling necklace. The 70s were a weird time.

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
Viva La Tabula Raza

Joining late today, had to scroll down to make sure someone had posted this one before I did..

Dunstan
yeah right
Downfield Matriculator

Best goddam Ritchie Blackmore song — noice!

Viva La Tabula Raza

*adjusts glasses*
Except it was written by Russ Ballard and originally recorded by him in 1976, and then recorded by Illinois band Head East in 1978, and subsequently by Rainbow in 1979.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=si0C2ebrdIQ

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Since_You_Been_Gone

LemonJello
Cuntler

I love it when Sting just yells the chorus over and over 75 times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX6MvV8cbh8

Viva La Tabula Raza

Which often leads to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69fPof-ZTnU