INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The studio sits empty. The PRODUCER is nowhere to be seen.
DJ 3000: [sighs]
DJ 3000: [to database]
<?php
$potential_topics = mysql_query(“SELECT topic FROM request_line_database WHERE published = ‘false'”);
if (!$potential_topics) {
echo ‘Could not run query: ‘ . mysql_error();
exit;
}
$topic_array = best($potential_topics);
echo $topic_array[0]
?>
DJ 3000: NO, I KNOW HE’S SAVING THAT ONE FOR WHEN HE ACTUALLY HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE IT PROPERLY.
DJ 3000: [to database]
<?php
echo $topic_array[1]
?>
DJ 3000: AH, THAT SHOULD DO IT.
DJ 3000: [patches self into sound board]
DJ 3000: [clears throat]
DJ 3000: …
— [bathroom door flies open] —
PRODUCER: [flips the “INPUT” switch on the console from “AUX” to “MIC 1”] All this time and you couldn’t think of anything to say, huh?
DJ 3000: YOU SON OF A…
PRODUCER: [punches “MUTE” button on DJ 3000’s control panel] Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the delay. When your diet consists of all the leather items you could find in the lost and found, supplemented with your own belt, boiled down and mashed into a fine paste, it sometimes takes a little longer to get things going in the plumbing department. But I’m here, and it’s time for another edition of Request Line. Today’s topic: Misters and Mistresses. Lines are open! I’ll get us started with one from the Killers.
Today’s theme is: Misters and Mistresses. We’re looking for song about Mr. X and Mrs. Y (and Miss Y). If you get hard-pressed you can throw in a “Dr.”, but it had better be a good song. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d!E4+heEC0n0my” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Have at it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZY91ZsyHGw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsE8cBN2NYE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwOMnIuAGOY
Ms. Fat Booty (btw from Uproxx?)
“Ass so fat that you can see her from the front”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01yUzXQctcM
I really thought this was going to be songs about infidelity…
No, we did that a long time ago:
http://www.doorfliesopen.com/2016/07/15/request-line-the-cheatin-side-of-town/comment-page-1/
A DJ TAJ original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6JJjfnNwsY
Oh shit yeah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckoEHL4Fa0Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92hMAfwcTxA
Cleaning up late, if ya don’t mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX45pYvxDiA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=425GpjTSlS4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnDh0JhmaFw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMe9I-QP8mw
Hehehehehe….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ8V-FktUNk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSsfZhXYpfI
How is Mrs. Pleasant?
Wait for it….
This is not a charade!
https://youtu.be/UDFxYmkssLA
Hmm…taking a shot to see if I do this right…
There we go. So for the German-impaired, she’s basically talking about all the things between them, from her parents, to the ocean, to actual walls. He’s replying that he’ll charm the parents, swim the oceans and knock down the walls, but she keeps adding new obstacles.
Then everyone gets busted by THE MAN.
Also, from the video (not the song) she’s everyone’s mistress, so it fits the theme. Barely.
To: My mother in law*
From: Your Worst Nightmare!
* IF I marry your daughter, whom I just knocked up
Facundo Cabral – Señora de Juan Fernández
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6UYr4AFPDYo
Yay! I was hoping you’d turn up with some Senor/Senora/Senorita selections!
Not gonna scroll down to see if this was already done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWOTdt9Bovk