INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The studio sits empty. The PRODUCER is nowhere to be seen.
DJ 3000: [sighs]
DJ 3000: [to database]
<?php
$potential_topics = mysql_query(“SELECT topic FROM request_line_database WHERE published = ‘false'”);
if (!$potential_topics) {
echo ‘Could not run query: ‘ . mysql_error();
exit;
}
$topic_array = best($potential_topics);
echo $topic_array[0]
?>
DJ 3000: NO, I KNOW HE’S SAVING THAT ONE FOR WHEN HE ACTUALLY HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE IT PROPERLY.
DJ 3000: [to database]
<?php
echo $topic_array[1]
?>
DJ 3000: AH, THAT SHOULD DO IT.
DJ 3000: [patches self into sound board]
DJ 3000: [clears throat]
DJ 3000: …
— [bathroom door flies open] —
PRODUCER: [flips the “INPUT” switch on the console from “AUX” to “MIC 1”] All this time and you couldn’t think of anything to say, huh?
DJ 3000: YOU SON OF A…
PRODUCER: [punches “MUTE” button on DJ 3000’s control panel] Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the delay. When your diet consists of all the leather items you could find in the lost and found, supplemented with your own belt, boiled down and mashed into a fine paste, it sometimes takes a little longer to get things going in the plumbing department. But I’m here, and it’s time for another edition of Request Line. Today’s topic: Misters and Mistresses. Lines are open! I’ll get us started with one from the Killers.
Today’s theme is: Misters and Mistresses. We’re looking for song about Mr. X and Mrs. Y (and Miss Y). If you get hard-pressed you can throw in a “Dr.”, but it had better be a good song. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d!E4+heEC0n0my” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Have at it!
Spoon – The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hmS7djrOut0
Tequila – Mister Jones
A sweet ditty about a murderous family
?Somos una familia muy normal?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=B7XP6hNQAzU
Love this band
It’s an order
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hOt3133ucAE
Done and done.
Ahem.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMarHac3VpQ
I’ll leave the door open for anybody who wants to pile in with a few more.
Late to the party (as always)
Somebody had to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oqAU5VxFWs
Not sure he’s talking about a girl here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeV5ko6ck88
Little disappointed in all you Satan worshiping metalheads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3LvhdFEOqs
These Limeys shoulda been bigger.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8IEWf0yPxk
From the original invasion. The British one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA1uknS9JgM
Scary Russians should be back in vogue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgSti1oCQ8E
SHABBA!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcWif3u4A0A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLLR1XQJ9Bw
This too should have been picked long ago.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkRxh-8mpcQ
I feel shame.
As a singer, Bob Dylan is a good songwriter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYLKlgalHMs
DOUBLE BYRDS SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoD0-5DTqpU
“Hey, one of these kids is gonna totally get Whitney hooked on blow and kill her”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DjcHYT6kdo
Really? Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, or Mike?
Three of the other kids tried to warn him…”That stuff is poison”
Posted that below but the video wasn’t embedding because I screwed up. Please, Mr. Internet Man!
Juliana Hatfield is cool enough to cover Olivia Newton John
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va7i-Jc79Pw
Okay, I’ve let this marinate for long enough and nobody has picked it up, so it’s mine all mine.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gemNU9mTsig
Oh! I’m glad I remembered this one. I went to college with a guy who was in this band. He flunked out. Later on, another kid from that same college (who also flunked out) did, in fact, go on a killing spree and murder his family. The murder weapon was, if my memory serves correctly, a piece of pipe.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyM6VqRGwCY
Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
No, I couldn’t get in. But they were kind enough to pass my file along to Brown.
This is a very very funny song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1j1249CEvA
Music to cleaver yourself in the heart to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsixXCnYVfA
Lady friend of Mr Brightside
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qok9Ialei4c
chuba chuba
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLOwf7pcsHA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsWrlzjxbPY
In real life, Bobby Brown was not quite so calm about women not returning his calls.
Guess we’re all getting a little shaggy these days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miyDwlPnLMA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhSPVBX0UFE
YES
Love this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24mqb-IAHfo
Obligatory Zevon entry.
Huh – this isn’t embedding for me, even though the format looks right. Anyone else seeing the same issue?
Text has to be before video
Well damn. Here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24mqb-IAHfo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMiUmrouZU
I should probably post this before WBS posts it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXWbMu4PtpE
That is exactly what I thought it was going to be when I hit refresh.
Drugs are bad mmmkay?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLuf3VsrO4g
Old Neil Young which is an oxymoron how deep does the rabbit hole go?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyc0JSd5q7U
THAT OLD MAN HE’S A REAL MOTHERFUCKER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27rKrR424cA
Does master count?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=IsvfofcIE1Q
It does!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYxAiK6VnXw
The dancing pets in this video remind me of something. Oh no. Not again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyZDq76T74
10 hours of that is NOT ENOUGH.
Those cats fuckin’ party!
SORRY MS JACKSON
I AM FOUR EELS
NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER CRY
I AM JUST FOUR FISH AND NOT A GUY
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qOEtZSqUSLo
There are so many good Mr/Mrs/Miss songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX45pYvxDiA
Is he Mr. Brightside’s cousin? We’ll never know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7dTBoW5H9k
RIP Little Richard:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ6akiGRcL8
doddoddodododododododododo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C1BCAgu2I8
This is Jim Tomsula’s favorite song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-LVXR6rjXs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyXTte9KjS4
Definitely too much technology:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc6f_2nPSX8
Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYikyYL0S00
Got me by four minutes…I’ll change mine
I don’t think I want to meet Mr. Krinkle. He seems creepy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOdo7dhvSwg
Ooh, fun little find:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSfTw_MOHuo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ6pSiQp4-0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z01-1NMH1aM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_l7lJlN520E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEJsegRQzPQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EmHT7AdoqI
DRIVE BY DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dYwRiHwHE0
One Mister? I give you 2 Misters!
2nd attempt at 2 misters, hat tip to Cuntler for beating me to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NDjt4FzFWY
SCOOPED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tefFHiiQWc
I’ll start with the worst song I could find:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKhN1t_7PEY
Damn It! Thought I got in 1st. Will adjust.
Yes, that is just goddamn awful. WOO HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah, it’s not so easy to fly with broken wings. These fucking guys . . .