INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The studio sits empty.  The PRODUCER is nowhere to be seen.  

DJ 3000: [sighs]

DJ 3000: [to database]

<?php
$potential_topics = mysql_query(“SELECT topic FROM request_line_database WHERE published = ‘false'”);
if (!$potential_topics) {
echo ‘Could not run query: ‘ . mysql_error();
exit;
}
$topic_array = best($potential_topics);
echo $topic_array[0]
?>

DJ 3000: NO, I KNOW HE’S SAVING THAT ONE FOR WHEN HE ACTUALLY HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE IT PROPERLY.

DJ 3000: [to database]

<?php
echo $topic_array[1]
?>

DJ 3000: AH, THAT SHOULD DO IT.

DJ 3000: [patches self into sound board]

DJ 3000: [clears throat]

DJ 3000: …

— [bathroom door flies open] —

PRODUCER: [flips the “INPUT” switch on the console from “AUX” to “MIC 1”] All this time and you couldn’t think of anything to say, huh?

DJ 3000: YOU SON OF A…

PRODUCER: [punches “MUTE” button on DJ 3000’s control panel] Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the delay.  When your diet consists of all the leather items you could find in the lost and found, supplemented with your own belt, boiled down and mashed into a fine paste, it sometimes takes a little longer to get things going in the plumbing department.  But I’m here, and it’s time for another edition of Request Line.  Today’s topic: Misters and Mistresses.  Lines are open!  I’ll get us started with one from the Killers.

Today’s theme is: Misters and Mistresses.  We’re looking for song about Mr. X and Mrs. Y (and Miss Y). If you get hard-pressed you can throw in a “Dr.”, but it had better be a good song. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d!E4+heEC0n0my” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Have at it!