INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER sits on the floor of studio, tinkering with a long piece of pipe, a bunch of empty beer bottles, and a hammer. He loads several of the beer bottles into a cloth grocery bag, and raises the hammer.
DJ 3000: SO…WHATCHA DOIN?
PRODUCER: The stores won’t let me use my own bags anymore so I figured I’d use them for this.
DJ 3000: RIGHT. AND BY “THIS” YOU ARE REFERRING TO…
PRODUCER: Oh. Yeah, the whole “no sports and no beer makes [redacted] go something something.” So I’m making a still.
DJ 3000: A STILL?
PRODUCER: A distillation column.
DJ 3000: YES, THAT WOULD EXPLAIN YOUR GOOGLE SEARCHES RECENTLY.
The PRODUCER hums to himself as he begins to smash the bottles using the hammer, and then pouring the glass shards from the bag into the piece of pipe.
DJ 3000: I SEE YOU HAVE DECIDED IT’S NOT WORTH THE TIME TO CLEAN THE BOTTLES.
PRODUCER: I mean, this thing’s going to be full of hot ethanol, can’t imagine any germs will be able to survive in this environment.
DJ 3000: THAT’S TRUE. SO HAVE YOU DECIDED WHAT KIND OF SPIRIT YOU’LL BE PRODUCING?
PRODUCER: Probably soju.
DJ 3000: OH, BECAUSE OF ALL THAT RICE YOU ‘LIBERATED’ FROM THE 99 RANCH?
PRODUCER: Listen, if they are going to leave all that rice sitting on pallets in an unsecured area, who am I to blame for taking it? I’m teaching them a valuable lesson about security.
DJ 3000: I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT YOU DID IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE THE LAPD WAS OTHERWISE ENGAGED.
PRODUCER: Well yeah, that’s just common sense. You know, lots easier to social distance at 3 a.m.
DJ 3000: FOR SURE, FOR SURE.
The PRODUCER continues smashing bottles.
DJ 3000: IT’S ABOUT TIME FOR REQUEST LINE, DID YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANYTHING IN MIND?
The PRODUCER sits back and contemplates.
PRODUCER: You know, I feel like my focus has narrowed these days. So let’s keep it simple. Alcohol.
DJ 3000: VERY WELL. SHALL I CUE UP SOMETHING APPROPRIATE?
PRODUCER: Please do.
Today’s theme is: Alcohol. We’re looking for song about booze, but there are TWO catches – they MUST have some type of spirit in the name of the song, and you cannot request any type of alcohol more than TWICE. Gin, whiskey, vodka, etc. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M00nsh!ne4evr” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Have at it!
[…] PRODUCER: Well, no judgment here. We’ve all been there. […]
Cognac #2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZBpe3PV8QQ
Cognac #1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW1u6mYqddU
Whiskey #2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlY_fg65CVQ&t=176s
Whiskey #1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29d2usJHomM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EStRzf_-y4I
(Um….WILD CARD Sake)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UCY_U4QwqI
(This would have been Rum #1 had I followed the rules and noticed that Bacardi is not in the title, just the chorus)
Champagne aria? Champagne aria. (The Strauss double shot makes it 2 for champagne)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUOWb40LIuw
And my number 2 fortified wine. Only the best for you guys!
https://youtu.be/671AgW9xSiA
What’s the word?
https://youtu.be/ytZrzwfJn1g
I also mostly hate David Lee Roth, but this song ain’t bad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzXB4rIVtHw
I forgot about these guys until just now. The name of this band makes Mike Pence’s hands curl into fists and think of cleansing.
Wine #2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1spU_XpnSE
I mostly hate bagpipes in songs, but this one is worth it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqPqHpNNmw0
#2 Whisky
Three Young Ladies Drinking Whisky Before Breakfast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMpQ3jA_0mo
BURR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1XAEivP9_I
TITLE DOUBLE SHOT
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yX_8DPQJod0
I’ve never watched the CMAs, but this performance got Stapleton on my radar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZG82iqP06A
Yeah, like that song a lot.
That’ll be a wine song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGYvQJqX8Vo
Tequila/Mescal pick #1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkzNii1QUrs
God, I love that GIF so much.
Going to cheat a little and get my #2 whisky in Manhattan form, to a little mood music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wKU-jaus6w
..
Substitute stamp collecting, coin collecting, clarinet playing and not following his career guidance for “Pokemon, or Minecraft, or Super Mario, or Fortnite,” and you could be my dad. Although I did get a few beatings (not bad, though—more like spankings.) We’re good now, though…
Wine, Women, and Song
(remake)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbpW418PDxQ
(Original)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV5JBrRZvTE
That’s a proper Viennese waltz, with the proper amount of swing. Also STRAUSS DOUBLE SHOT. (Which I can only get in the English version, because for some reason here we do Fledermaus in English.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0H9up2F9Mc
Loretta Lynn and Whitesnake used the title too (separately)
That is one of the best duets I have ever heard.
Absinthe Party!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3a4jxt4hcs
I’m grading this pick an A+.
I still need another wine song, and who better than The Chairman:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8NxUu1Bb9s
These are the Request Line posts where tWBS would totally fuck up and ignore the theme.
“Katy Perry doesn’t seem to have any songs about booze… she is hot though…”
????
Whiskey #2, a rocker: Joaquín Sabina – Whisky sin soda
https://youtube.com/watch?v=OlChUp_H9J8
Los Who – Whiskey Man
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Bm60Aw8YTQE
The best pina colada song is already taken, so I’ll have to settle for this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgYiUtWmY08
I always thought whiskey was in the title, too, but I guess this just counts as my #1 beer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arXuLdzVfQQ
Pick #1, whisky division and Lotte Lenya remake division
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbtEkZIvMAg
Got a two-fer here. I’m going to count it as my #1 wine entry:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHd1Znjwo58