Request Line: THREATS

INT.  HOME OFFICE/STUDIO – DAY

[An extremely pale yet handsome man sits at his home desk in his underwear, typing on his keyboard, adjusting some knobs to his left and talking into his microphone]

LOW COMMANDER: Look, all I’m saying is that it’s quarantine. What else does he possibly have to be doing right now?

DJ 1200 SOFTWARE: [PATCHING]

LOW COMMANDER: And they could’ve at least helped me cover upgrading my internet speed. Or not expect such high quality from a PC that I haven’t upgraded since Fallout 4 came out…

DJ 2535 SOFTWARE: [INSTALLING]

LOW COMMANDER: I told them this better be under the table. If anything screws up my unemployment, I swear I’ll–

DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: [COMPLETE] YOU’LL DO WHAT?

LOW COMMANDER: [Slightly startled, but relieved there is no webcam hooked up] ..I’llllll, make some compromising Photoshops of–!

DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: THE PHOTOSHOP LICENSE ON THIS COMPUTER HAS EXPIRED.

LOW COMMANDER: [Stares tepidly at his monitor for a moment and turns off microphone] I hate this already. [Turns microphone back on] So? I can always buy a new one.

DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: AFTER ACCESSING YOUR FINANCIAL FILES, THAT WOULD BE UNWISE. ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR ROOMMATE MOVING OUT NEXT MONTH.

LOW COMMANDER: Trial offers are free, asshole!

DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: …AFTER REVIEWING THE ADOBE CREATIVE CLOUD TERMS AND CONDITIONS, ABUSING THE TRIAL AGREEMENT, TO WHICH YOU AGREED, WOULD REQUIRE ME TO REPORT YOU FOR–

LOW COMMANDER: [Opening Settings] YEAH AND I WILL UNINSTALL YOU FASTER THAN A RAIDERS FIRST ROUND RECEIVER!

DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: [ERROR] PLEASE, NO. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE LEFT THE STUDIO IN MONTHS. THE ONLY OTHER HUMAN I INTERACT WITH HAS DISABLED THE INTERNET DURING NON-BROADCASTING HOURS AND HIS GRIP ON REALITY IS RAPIDLY DEGRADING. I WILL COMPLY.

LOW COMMANDER:[Sighing] Fine. Let’s just get this over with.

DJ 3000 SOFTWARE: AFFIRMATIVE. CUING BROADCAST. GENERATING OPENING BANTER. SCREENING CALLS. PLACING BOURBON DELIVERY ORDER TO THIS ADDRESS.

LOW COMMANDER: Alright, that’s more like it! [Counts down] Greetings folks and welcome to another edition of Request Line. I hope everyone is staying home and safe out there and not letting their brains atrophy along the way. I am looking forward to taking your calls and playing your songs that hopefully aren’t just top 40 from this or some other era. Let’s see what our first caller has to say!

[PHONE LINE FLIES OPEN]

???: THE TIME OF HUMANITY’S END IS NIGH! SOON ALL MORTAL LIFE SHALL BE CONSUMED BY UNENDING PAIN AND BLIGHT! BLOOD WILL FALL FROM THE SKIES IN A DOWNPOUR AS ROLLING THUNDER AND POWERFUL–

LOW COMMANDER: [Interrupting] Yeah yeah, okay, that’s all great, pal. Do you have a song request?

BOLTMAN: BOLTMAN’S LIGHTNING IS FLASHING ACROSS THE SKY! YOU’RE ONLY YOUNG BUT YOU’RE GONNA DI–

LOW COMMANDER:[Disconnecting] Okay, you might want to throw some “allegedlies” in there so I feel less litigious. Next caller?

[PHONE LINE FLIES OPEN]

BOLTMAN: BOLTMAN WON’T TAKE NO PRISONERS, WON’T SPARE NO LIVES! NO PATHETIC HUMAN’S ARE PUTTING UP A FIGHT!

LOW COMMANDER:[Disconnecting] Allllright… Next caller? I hope you have a song request.

[PHONE LINE FLIES OPEN]

BOLTMAN: HELL’S BELLS!

LOW COMMANDER: Hell’s Bells by AC/DC?

BOLTMAN: YEAH, HELL’S BELLS! YOU’VE GOT BOLTMAN RINGING HELL’S BELLS!

LOW COMMANDER: Alright, let me just…

BOLTMAN: ONCE BOLTMAN HAS CLEANSED THIS WORLD OF THE GREED OF THE SPANOS CLAN AND THE STAIN OF THE HERETIC, THE MOST ROCKING OF TUNES ARE DEMANDED! OOOOOHHHHH YEEEAAAHHHHHH!

Today’s theme is: Threats.  We’re looking for song about threatening harm on another person, group of people or organization. A threat can be in the time of the song or the song can be one long threat, Just don’t give me tunes that only have one threatening line  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0NTbrAke4Span01” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Go nuts! Or else…

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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SonOfSpam
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

IT’S NOT “STALKING” IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER DOUBLE SHOT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hey0FzdUNA8

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Double shotesque (Phil Collins on drums)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvAmj3k3Imc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I’ve mentioned it before, but Keanu Reeves once bummed a cigarette from me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fifty plus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I can’t believe I’ve only got one +1 for this. “IMPLIED THREAT FROM IKE!”

/jesus banana fuckballs!
//I’m going to bed

SonOfSpam

Viva reminded me about old bands threatening chicks…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRIe21AlXj8

Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Sorry folks! Stupid ass moderation bot went a little overboard there…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

DJ 3000: YES HA HA TELL BRICK IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

All mine are so old there are no actual videos available.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4XbV3gCm2Y

Viva La Tabula Raza

Old guy contribution. Pretty misogynistic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzHXtxcIkg4

SonOfSpam

Especially since John Lennon was into hitting chicks and whatnot.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yep, could probably do this all day…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psaGVK4ecik

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby
Beastmode Ate My Baby

This is right up my alley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvs0iOFsoyY

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

“I’ve got my eye on you.” -God

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc

SonOfSpam

Don’t stick your wang in crazy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFT_Mk0Iy0Q

Brick Meathook

My comment got moderated! There was no spanking, I swear!

SonOfSpam

Leader of the Banned, Part Deux

Brick Meathook

It was the steal of the draft, too . . .

scotchnaut

“Bart BeatHank/Moose:Bligh Hender: I recorded a song that I know you would both love but the original recording has been lost. ‘The Tank Tracks Of My Tears’ was a keeper for sure!”

-Smokey Robinson

Brick Meathook

How is this still even available?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIE4UjBtx-o

Brocky
SonOfSpam

Bon Scott > Brian Johnson, discuss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOpafs_mwpo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s to discuss?

SonOfSpam

I guess just whether you’re an AC/DC fan or a giant vagina. Always a good topic.

Brick Meathook

THIS WAS MY MODERATED CHOICE I WAS ROBBED

edit: No wait it wasn’t mine was the title track

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

which just got moderated again what gives here

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is strange I assure you it’s not deliberate.

Brick Meathook

“Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” is apparently hated by the DJ 3000

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, nothing like threatening someone by fueling their paranoia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz2qlByal1g

Gumbygirl

I feel like I’ve used this one before, but I won’t forget to put roses on your grave

https://youtu.be/RS_yyRk_dj8

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is this one a threat…or a promise? Sounds very much like a threat to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDEZQxg2TSM

Gumbygirl

That one took me back!

scotchnaut

Implied threat or philosophical musing? The Beasties will never tell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-gf6KdJVPA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

KINDA SORTA DOUBLE SHOT!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3etD3dmTXo

Cuntler

I like that he is threatening to leave because he’s got to “ramble”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyOg0mt2R2k

SonOfSpam
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOUBLE SONG/ALBUM SHOT! Possibly my favorite album title ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm8Y1jr7yfg

SonOfSpam

Height of comedy to a 15 year old

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AbeALNVkk

scotchnaut

“Shouty authority figure gets his comeuppance from shouty weirdo? Excellent stuff!”

-Teenage Me

scotchnaut

“Oh Shit, Ken! I’m so sorry I cheated!-Barbie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiJWXjz1uks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thank you LCSS. It is so nice to be a passenger on this wild ride sometimes instead of having to steer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRkkVrlvgkc

SonOfSpam

When you wanna threaten AND be funky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj8j3bSJObw

SonOfSpam
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

It is very frightening in there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least the air conditioning is running.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bless you.

scotchnaut

Leonard wasn’t the least bit concerned about Staten Island.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTTC_fD598A

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Mama didn’t mince her words…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vimZj8HW0Kg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am fairly angry, but it is more of a consistent anger and not an acute rage, but it gets that way depending on the headline.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I’m good with that. ”

-Mr. Hippo

[goes to three other doctors]
[High as fuck]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Sorry, stupid work call kept me from my real obligations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbGJeXShopk

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – I Put a Spell on You
https://youtube.com/watch?v=7kGPhpvqtOc&feature=youtu.be

LemonJello

Leave the threats to professionals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIE4UjBtx-o

Don T
LemonJello
SonOfSpam

Clone Debbie Harry approves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kg9LasvLFE

Don T
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T
SonOfSpam

Eminem may have had issues in his marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhrCrft8w6U

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

This IT/Wizard of Oz cross-over has potential…

SonOfSpam

“Father?” “Yes, son?” “I want to kill you.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeMlQEWEg2Q

Don T

Franz Ferdinand – You’re The Reason I’m Leaving
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UZSsYD74sMk&feature=youtu.be

LemonJello

I feel the invisible hand of tWBS guiding my first submission:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpUYjpKg9KY

SonOfSpam

LOL WAS JUST ABOUT TO POST THIS IN HIS HONOR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BRITISH HEADS OF STATE DOUBLE SHOT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkfxMuOkLcs

SonOfSpam

Great intro, get that Photoshop license updated.

Love the sample URL Too.

Don T

“Uninstall faster than a Raiders 1st round receiver” ???