Ladies and germs, I know I won’t be the first to, but please allow me to wish you a very happy and hopefully safe 4th of July! I am your Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, and I want to apologize to the Commentists at large for my general lack of writing and commentering. I never would have thought that being unemployed would lead me to be busier than I ever have in my life, but here we are. That being said, DFO is very much my home, and I am thrilled to see how much we have been thriving during the madness that we are all living through these days. That being said, I can’t wait to get back to writing about beer, video games, sports and whatever you consider my BOLTMAN tirades to be.
The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, not because of some misguided sense of #branded and faux patriotism, but because of the general activities that come with it. Getting together with your friends, going to the pool/beach, watching fireworks and grilling with a beer in your hand. Unfortunately, all but one of those things have either been canceled or made to be an extremely stupid act this year. In their infinite wisdom, the county of San Diego have not closed the beaches this weekend, whereas nearly every other coastal county has. That means every Zonie in the state are on their way here, not to mention Ventura through Orange County. This was taken yesterday:
On top of that, pools are closed, fireworks are canceled and seeing friends puts them at risk, so I’ll just be sitting here grillin’ and drankin’
What’s on the agenda for you all today? I will be at Lady Commander’s with her and the boys, cracking a beer a little sooner than usual, and making something to go with the “German Wieners” I picked up yesterday. Here’s a hint:
In lieu of fireworks, please enjoy this mishap from 2012 where San Diego set off all of their fireworks off in 15 seconds.
Alright, that does it for me today. Get to having fun and remember to stay home and safe today. Let us know what you’re drinking, grilling, and listening to to celebrate America’s birthday. ‘MURICA!
We’ll spot ya!
Christ, the fireworks are already starting. Hope that my dog’s hearing has got at least a little worse and I don’t spend the evening with The Pant of Fear going on within 18″ of me all night. At least July 4th is not as bad as New Years, when the shit starts 11-ish and goes on till fucking near dawn. Usually July 4th is done by midnight or so. I am an atheist, but I always pray for torrential rain on these two nights of the year.
My dog used to hate that shit too. Watching movies at a high volume helped somewhat.
The fire danger is high here in Big Bear. There was a huge wildfire at Running Springs yesterday that I’m not sure is out yet. Six fucking carloads of idiots showed up at the rental house next door, and I would bet bongo bucks they will be shooting off fireworks all night. I have my hose on the deck and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I have to use it. And then I will use it on these drunken chuds!
Water ballooning should be a thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMDG_bpBAk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv9ZGP1_JUo&feature=emb_logo
Gerald Ford was actually our most athletic president. Look at that form:
Going for the fumble recovery.
Makes sense; he played center, linebacker, and long snapper for the Wolverines.
Another one who gets blamed for the shit fire he inherited.
Your posts often leave me scratching my head or finally figuring out the obscure reference, but this one is the new champion.
NOW I get it.
TX hospitals reaching capacity. Nice job, Governor Abbottoir.
https://www.texastribune.org/2020/07/04/texas-coronavirus-rio-grande-valley-hospitals/
Trump has been on fire for the last couple days! Everybody ready for the civil war (or race war, I don’t think he cares which one he sparks)?
Has he? Word was that all he did at Rushmore was wearily read off a teleprompter. A lot of people who are traveling to set up his Nazi rallies have been getting sick. The last time he tried to start shit (by calling his cultists to mass at Lafayette Park) none of them showed up. Any fantasy of a race war is going to be like Vietnam for those folks – something for someone else to fight in.
Grimace is like “listen to this stupid fuck. They don’t pay me enough.”
MERK BANAKA PERK HAGAIN!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t5RrUt3nrY
FINALLY a hat-tip to Hebrew Hawaiians!
Everybody’s gone surfin’
Surfin’ Jew-S-A!
MALAISE FOREVER
(unfairly maligned and a thoroughly decent person)
A good man. Better than we deserved, probably.
He actually was qualified to handle a pandemic.
Competitive book shelving?
I’m guessing Billy would have voted for Trump if he had still been alive in 2016.
Every family has one. Mine has two.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fZTHS_Vk6s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz4A-WJXLMQ
https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/04/uk/maxwell-spacey-throne-gbr-intl/index.html
Is Drawn and Quartering still legal in England?
They will never get the VD off those thrones. Take em out and burn them, it’s the only way to be sure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IKQkxnHp9U
Fuck yeah Wilco.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMhdLspttjE
Not two episodes into a German Nortflix show aaaaaand there’s a guy covered in shit. This is why you’re not on the list, Germany!!
And that other thing.
Which show? Asking for my German friend…
We can pull this out, right-thinking Americans!
Cums on back.
Everyone is talking about Hamilton again thanks to Disney. It should be appreciated (or unappreciated) for what it is: a goofy Broadway musical just like every other one ever made.
Far am I’m concerned, Hamilton the musical’s greatest accomplishment is saving Hamilton the person’s presence on the ten dollar bill. Now we just need a hip media showing for Salmon P. Chase.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv_A0s8vevY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUXkUSJkhTc
My kid loved that place when he was little. My friend Jana and I used to take our kids there and let them go wild while we slammed pitchers of cheap beer all afternoon. Mothers of the Year!
It also made Lin-Manuel Miranda not seem like a hugely boring nerd, a nigh impossible feat
Fun fact: I’ve definitely mentioned on my HS alumni page that I am all for Lin-Manuel Miranda, Robert Lopez, and Thunder Levin collaborating on Sharknado: The Musical.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMgdtJmc3XA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msHkQKzCwZk
Y’all celemasturbating just how great America is right now. Really? You think America is great right now? Really?
This was posted very recently in another thread. Thank you for your service!
I’m not gonna lie. That ladder makes me wet.
it’s really America that makes you wet
Bark Breakhank hits another one out of the park…
name 10 better countries; thats right, you cant.
I tried. It simply can’t be done.
Much like the NFL, every team sucks
Sweden
Iceland
Finland
Bananaland
Moneyland
Denmark
Beerland
Italyland
Reallybigcockland
ReallyBadMathLand
/that’s 11 better countries
https://www.trbimg.com/img-596eaaca/turbine/la-1500424903-xuribcc2si-snap-image
Reallybigcockland is vastly underrated and throbbing.
Also Canada.
Obviously one of your favorites.
always
You forgot Candyland
To be fair, most Americans can’t name ten countries.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgyGJl_xm6o
Every so often, I stumble on to something Frank Luntz has uttered recently and remember how much I hate him and his stupid fat face they keep parading back on to TV like he’s the Al Roker of opinion polls instead of one of the most harmful propagandists of the last 30 years
DFO folks: have an earnest Happy 4th of Jul—
It’s the thought that counts.
Fuck history and politics. I luv that yer brilliant, funny, and welcoming. You make my U.S. passport mean something not bad.
Full disclorure: I’m hiiiigh and, uh, going oot a little later
Grill is fired up for day 2 of 3 all grilling menus. Gonna be hard as hell beating yesterday’s meal but I love a good challenge. There will be photos next weekend.
Time to get the bread in the oven. I’ll grab a beer while I’m up.
Look to you and your fancy “real food!” I smoked a doob and I’m heating up some Totino’s pizza rolls.
I just cooked something that broke my damn mind. Complete chance but kismet may have had a hand too.
I might be competition ready with this bad boy.
Fucking hell I think I’m gonna dance now!
Woohoo! I look forward to hearing about it. I have cooked every fucking meal since this festival du merde began, except for two times each we ordered Chinese and pizza. I love to cook, but lately it feels like a jerb. Today I am taking a mental health day.
I still cook all of my own food but Saturday and Sunday is when I get busy. It really helps going to work every day in this goddamn pandemic because the first thing I want to do on the weekends is get in the kitchen and find my happy place.
I saw that movie in a movie theater when it was originally released. I am old as fuck. 61 next Sunday. Jesus.
Enjoy the day, everyone!
I’m curious as to whether “German Weiners” is a weird sex euphemism…
NSFDO at all; porn humor.
h
ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/2115c734878b36194dcb2fe5c78916dd/tumblr_n96p38Br2g1skjm6mo1_400.gif
Ha ha ha!
Justified was a truly amazing television program. I wish it were still being produced.
We only have nine+ hours left to drink those delicious IPAs from Stone.
GIT DRINKIN MEN! (Also, WOMEN!)
Gonna stay inside and try to calm jittery dogs for the millionth 4th of JuLuau in a row.
The Instant Pot is being a mother fucker today, so it’s time to bust out the trusty crockpot.
The sun is up, people in Queens. Why are you still shooting off occasional fireworks?
One of the only good fireworks videos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPFRUGtOd2o
Awwwwwww, Pigly.