Good evening from your hat, hope you are all safe, sound and are drunk again as Sunday hangovers are the worst.
When our dear internet uncle TWBS passed away, he and I were working on a fiction thing. We got a bit into it and then he left us, making us all better throughout his run.
Here is Part 1.
On a dreary day with no sports, or no prospect of sports TWBS decides he has had enough with the state of things in North Carolina.
Fuck it Dave (Twbs’ truck), we’re heading north to Canada. With what those boys are planning this could be a gold mine. I mean 10 months of winter won’t be too bad right?
Our intrepid traveler makes his way to the border of Washington and British Columbia.
PEACE ARCH BORDER CROSSING;
Dave rolls up.
TWBS: Hello gents, just lookin to pass through and retire on a pug farm with two internet friends.
CBP; Whoa whoa whoa, what is with the impoliteness mon ami?
TWBS: Shit, yeah sorry. Good day, at your leisure could you please process my documents so I can make my way north? Thank you for your time.
CBP: Thank you, that’s more acceptable. You’ll need to work on that.
TWBS: (inner monologue) Fucking hell, just get me to the farm where I can grow my weed and the pugs can run wild and free.
CBP: What is your purpose to coming to Canada?
TWBS: Well you see, these two friends of mine have opened a farm to rescue flat faced dogs and I am a retired vet so they asked for help.
CBP: How do you plan to support yourself?
TWBS: With my two legs, heh heh heh.
CBP: (Scowls) Not doing yourself any favoUrs.
TWBS: I am retired and my 401k didn’t take a beating during the Grudenvirus outbreak.
CBP: Grudenvirus?
TWBS: Yeah, you know, Gruden made commercials for Corona, so I did a little play on words there.
CBP: Scowls again.
CBP: We are going to move you into secondary screening.
TWBS (inner monologue) Fuck, if they search Dave, I could be in deep trouble here.
Search finishes.
CBP: We found some strange things in your truck sir. Not illegal, but concerning, so we have a few questions. Why do you have 4 fleshlights, random seeds, dead squirrels and so many stripper business cards from Vegas?
TWBS: Ok, well the 4 fleshlights are for a friend, we kept trying to send them to him but they never got through customs due to bacteria. The stripper cards, well, I was unsure about your internet and a man has to do what a man has to do. The seeds are from my buddy Weaselo and they are hot peppers as I assume your cuisine is as bad as the English. As for the squirrels, they were to feed the pugs.
CBP: There is a lot to unpack there.
TWBS: Its only some fleshlights, seeds, cards, and squirrels, I wouldn’t say it took me long to pack.
CBP: (scowls) Not helping. Also, a guy named Weasel?
TWBS: Its Weaselo, and he is an upstanding musician with a penchant for spice.
CBP: Sir, bath salts are illegal up here. So you are saying you’re acquaintances with someone in the drug trade?
TWBS: No, no, he likes hot food.
CBP: So you are acquaintances with a drug dealer named Weasel who likes hot food? This doesn’t look good on your prospects for entry.
TWBS: I am soUrry.
CBP: That’s better. You can go now. But we are keeping the fleshlights, seeds, squirrels and especially the stripper cards. Why are they stuck together?
TWBS: I spilled Betty Crocker icing on them. I have a penchant for sweet and sticky (heh)
CBP: Scowls.
Begrudgingly the CBP allow our protagonist through the border and he makes his way to downtown Vancouver for his meetup.
Granville St, Vancouver, Canada
Dave pulls up and TWBS takes a look around.
Just a quick stop to meet BeerguyRob and then on my way to the farm. I gotta say this place is gorgeous with just the right amount of polite seediness.
How am I going to know who BeerguyRob is? His message was pretty cryptic, just said to meet him at The Morrissey Tavern and to be ready.
Ready for what?
The Morrissey is very dark, no tv’s, a classy dive bar.
TWBS: I’ll have a Molson.
Smoking hot gothish bartender: First of all, manners. 2nd, Molson? What the hell is that?
TWBS: You know, your national beer. If not that then a Labatts right? Please.
Bartender: That’s better. While I do appreciate your cuteness, and your politeness, you clearly aren’t from around here and have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.
[DOOR FLIES OPEN]
To be continued.
As for Sports on tv tonight, no. I mean there might be, but not sure what you are in to. Watch a documentary or drink some gin. I will be having a Viognier from my recent visit to BC. It’s a beautiful evening, throw some Smokies on the grill and relax.
As always I leave you with,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=alQUyaybZgo&feature=emb_logo
The moderation bot hates this joke too.
Mod bot is really annoying sometimes
The joke does deserve criticism, even from the bot.
Three-ways can be problematic, but when you find the right partners it can be bliss.
Every so often, I hear something that I wouldn’t expect to enjoy but hits just right and ends up in my rotation. Today’s entry comes from trap artist/luchador RMR.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M5uTnVg-2s
Do I have a long neck fetish or just a short hair fetish? Also this explains my uncomfortableness around the Giraffe enclosure at the zoo.
The one guy who likes Mike Glennon….
Well……
Hmm. I never thought that “shit or get off the fence” was a real phrase, but now I’m convinced.
So I’ve had an interesting day. (The end result is good news, for the tl;dr crowd)
Woke up at 3 am, coughed some phlegm into the sink, and it was bloody. That repeated a couple of times. This was a little troubling, and I thought about going into the hospital right then, but I decided to wait a bit and see — after all, I’ve been coughing on and off for a week now, so a little blood isn’t entirely surprising. After a few hours of sitting up and googling symptoms, I finally fell asleep again. Woke up around noon, and was hacking up bloody phlegm again.
So I grab my go-bag which I’ve been preparing for this moment and check in to the emergency department. My pulse oxidation rate is good. Other vitals good. Chest x-ray and blood panel all good. COVID test… negative. Huh. Well, 30% false negative rate, so who knows. They send me home and tell me basically to keep on keepin’ on as I’ve been doing.
So one of two things is true:
(1) I do not have the dreaded death spore, but did have the weird luck to manage to contract (while being mostly locked down) some other virus that battled my immune system to a standstill for over a week. Still, whatever I have does not seem to be doing any lasting damage, or at least not in any way that showed up.
(2) I’m a false negative, and do in fact have COVID, but even a week or more in I’m not showing any lung damage or consequences.
In one sense, nothing has changed. I’m still dealing with the same symptoms, still going to be treating them at home with over-the-counter cold medication and all the usual drink-lots-of-fluids advice.
But psychologically, it’s a huge relief. People keep texting me and asking me how I feel, do I feel better today, how about now, how about now? And the truth is that I haven’t felt that bad. It’s been a low-grade fever and moderate cough, and some of the annoyances (alternating sweatiness and chills, trouble sleeping, fluctuations in appetite) that go with those. But it’s not like I’ve been curled up on the couch moaning in agony or anything. The worst part has always been the anxiety that this seemingly mild viral infection is quietly eating the shit out of my lungs and that I’ll wake up one day struggling to breathe. Having some confirmation that this is not a likely imminent danger is a real load off, stress-wise.
Good news, stay safe.
I should say safer.
Glad to hear you’re doing alright. Stay safe!
Thanks for the update, I have been worried. Glad you are not feeling worse, and I hope you feel better soon!
In less than 48 hours, I will be in Ocean City, MD, drunk as a monkey, and starting five days of surf, sun, and liver damage.
Those boardwalk fries are awesome, I want some!
It’s Banal isnt it?
That IS a great value!
More BRICK’S BOOKSHELF: Sunday Edition
Is it really a boat if it flies?
Yes it is. A flying boat has a displacement hull fuselage, while a float plane has buoyant outriggers. A flying boat also has a “step,” a critical hull feature that allows it to transition from displacement to non-displacement to achieve takeoff and to break free of the water’s surface. I bet you expected a joke answer but I don’t kid around about Howard Hughes or flying boats.
I expected nothing less than this reply actually.
No hammock?
In each of the photos that you have posted of your bookshelves over time, I have noted at least one but usually more of the books in your collection are also in my library. I don’t know if this bodes well for you, or not well for you.
Which ones?
for this week’s entry, it’s the I’m a Lebowski feature. I can’t remember all the others. Maybe a separate thread is indicated,
Love those Arcadia Publishing books!
Black Boobs Matter?
#AllBoobsMatter
Anyone watching The Eagles Concert on ESPN?
…is a thing I never thought I’d type.
Kinda sad/neat seeing Deacon Frey front Peaceful Easy Feeling.
Who doesn’t hate The Eagles?
That explains the unacknowledged messages I’ve left. All 338 of them.
DOINK!
“My God, did I raise up a pussy or what?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaEB8VDiC5M
Fortunately, he was able to pass the NFL’s concussion protocol and is back on the field!
Today in WTF?!?
Damn, the tough times for Bill continue.
Now that you mention it, this may explain a LOT.
Home distillery?
Um…. check the shape and…… discharge ….. of the “condenser.”
My First LSD Trip started here…
The one I posted is more of a Catholic priest type “chemistry set”…..
Another Dead Tom Petty’s Buried Treasures gem. I find the dancers particularly intriguing. A musician friend of mine occasionally gigs with the guy playing bass, up in Austin. Very cool song, in my view.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZExWt-bj-k
Cannot waIt for Dave to make an unplanned stop to get teh confiscated stuff back
/ moar pls
There is 2 more collaborative chapters. I may continue in his memory.
DO EET!!
This might be a rough night for both:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipqqEFoJPL4
I noticed something while I was posting some Terry Zwigoff stuff below . . .
If you want to form a mental picture of tWBS, here he is:
I don’t know about that part, but they look similar. Probably replace the cigarette with a joint though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-S-bFxSRXI
I was going to say, Bad Santa looks far too alert to fit my memories of spending time with tWBS.
We watch that movie every Christmas Eve.
This is an accurate assessment. Down to him picking up a bartender and fucking her in her car.
Does car mean ass?
They don’t call him “the ORGAN-ist” for nothing.
“Keith Emerson of EL&P claimed to have the world’s largest organ. HA!”
I wonder why this wasn’t made into a movie. I mean, Wake of The Red Witch was….
My brain is sufficiently broken this evening
“The fact that this isn’t a parody account is incredible.”
I like this reply.
Every time Dead Tom Petty plays this on his Buried Treasure show, I feel compelled to post the YouTube of it. I don’t expect my behaviour to change in relation to this song anytime soon. Like the Trump administration’s latest strategy regarding the virus, Get Used To It, Because We Aren’t Going To Do Anything About It. Sorry, but at least the Kinks won’t kill you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_MqfF0WBsU
No need to apologize for reposting thing here.
“That’s really not true.” – David Carradine
[Michael Hutchence loves this comment]
I thought he was all choked up about the comment
Karen Carpenter was having dinner, for now.
It can be both…. in fact I think it is in a way.
I’m always happy to cross over the river with Terry and Julie.
The Crumb movie is a weird trip, but worth it if you are interested in the graphic thing.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109508/
I watched that film when it came out, what, 25 years ago? It still stays with me. Very disturbing. Full disclosure: This is still on my bookshelf, and a number of issues of Zap Comix still reside in one of my dresser drawers:
Terry Zwigoff directed it. He was a friend and collaborator of Crumb in the early-70s San Francisco comix scene; he not only directed this documentary, but directed two feature films based on Dan Clowes’ work, Ghost World and Art School Confidential. He also directed Bad Santa, which earns him a lifetime achievement award from me.
Crumb and Clowes are two of the only comics artists I like (the Freak Brothers as well). The original comic Art School Confidential is a thing of beauty, but I had been in that world.
I thought Ghost World was neat.
That the film featured this Bollywood clip made it all worthwhile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyEnG_DEB1I
Settle down honey bunny
None of them are wearing masks.
Just in case:
https://www.artic.edu/artworks/111628/nighthawks
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110912/
This particular one didn’t get by me, but I understand your figuring it might given my past performance. Thanks!
Point the gun at me! Point the gun at me! There you go. Vincent, shut the FUCK UP!
I visited an exhibit of Dali in Venice back in 2004. So, saw the actual Persistence of Time and a number of his other famous works. I had my mom with me, and she really didn’t get it. But she liked Venice, including the standard “Having a 20 dollar Cuba Libre at Harry’s Bar” thing.
This woman on Married at First Sight – no disrepect intended, because she seems like a perfectly pleasant person – is the Platonic ideal of an “Ashley”.
–
Ready for Monday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu1iND6vtcE
That movie is so good….. gets the feeling of the office….. in a mind altered way.
Aw. I miss tWBS.
To make matters worse, the not-so-wee lady Siobhan turned out to be male, so it’s been cut down. I saved some pollen, though, so the Wee cannabis strain will live on.
Hate it when that happens, but the pimp will usually give you your money back if you ask nicely.
Not in Thailand.
This is fiction; herodotus450 knows the when he wakes up with a sore asshole, the smell of burnt butter, no money, etc. the only thing gained is knowledge.
“good old days” my ass.
Awww. Let’s just pretend Seamus is on a beautiful farm , running free with all of the pugs, somewhere in the wilds of BC. He’s not gone forever, he just has no internet connection in the boonies.