NFL Nuggets:
- Today is all about getting paid:
- The Chiefs and DT Chris Jones agreed to a four-year contract worth $85 million.
- $60 million is guaranteed.
- Proving there’s some money left in the kitty after Mahomes got paid.
- Actually, Mahomes’ extension left the salary cap flat for the next two years, so they could top-up now to continue their run.
- Proving there’s some money left in the kitty after Mahomes got paid.
- He was on the franchise tag, which would have paid him $16.1 million.
- He was prepared to hold out for a $20 million per year deal.
- $60 million is guaranteed.
- Myles Garrett & the Browns have apparently reached terms on a five year, $125 million extension.
- As an extension, it is worth $144 million over seven years, making the cap hit a bit more bearable for the Browns.
- It is the third-richest overall defensive contract, after Aaron Donald & Khalil Mack, but the $25 million in new money per year makes it the richest per year contract for defensive players.
- The Chiefs and DT Chris Jones agreed to a four-year contract worth $85 million.
- The Eagles & the city of Philadelphia are at odds over whether fans will be allowed to attend Eagles games in 2020.
- The City has banned all public gatherings larger than 50 people until February 2021.
- The Eagles believe they are exempt from the declaration.
- The City says otherwise, as they play in the civic-owned Lincoln Financial Field.
- And because NFL guidelines “remind teams that local authorities have the ability to ban fans.”
- The City says otherwise, as they play in the civic-owned Lincoln Financial Field.
Bastille Day:
It commemorates the storming of the Bastille prison in 1789 by a mob of Parisians during the opening stages of the French Revolution. They were looking for munitions & supplies to fuel the rebellion against Louis XVI that had been fomenting since the year prior, when famine & food shortages led the populace to rise up against the established order.
A national assembly called by Louis XVI to resolve the issue divided itself into thee estates, national assembly divided by social class into three orders: clergy (First Estate), nobility (Second Estate) and commoners (Third Estate). The clergy & nobility represented only 2% of the population, but under the hierarchy of demand they could outvote the commoners on issues of “national importance”. When they refused to meet any of their demands, and indeed locked them out of the assembly hall, the revolution began under the auspices of creating a new National Assembly. They certified their stance by swearing the “Tennis Court Oath”, on the Jeu de Paume, an indoor tennis court, in defiance of King Louis XVI’s order to disperse. In these modest surroundings, they took the historic Tennis Court Oath, with which they agreed not to disband until a new French constitution had been adopted.
From here the National Assembly began demanding authority to rule on behalf of the people, something Louis XVI, by virtue of “the divine right of kings”, refused to surrender. He called out his royalist troops to defend public institutions. An attempt to negotiate a truce failed when civilians, fearing their leaders had been captured, stormed the Bastille prison where the negotiations had been taking place. As a result of the fighting, 200 attackers were killed, but so was the provost of the Bastille & his guard, which allowed the facility to fall into the rebellion’s hands.
Emboldened by this success, the commoners began rising up against all monarchist institutions, initiating the Great Fear (la Grande peur), which led the majority of French nobles & upper clergy to flee France. In the wake of this, on August 4, 1789 the National Assembly passed a law abolishing feudalism, which has been described as the “death certificate of the old order.” Further, they replaced feudalism with the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen (Déclaration des droits de l’homme et du citoyen), a statement of democratic principles grounded in the philosophical and political ideas of Enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau. This came into effect on August 26th, and became the cornerstone for the democratic France we know today.
The current government of France decided to commemorate the day by increasing pay for health care workers. After negotiating with the various health care unions in France, the government agreed to provide $8.5 billion (7.5 billion euros) in raises, averaging about $208 (183 euros) a month for nurses and health care workers. For the first time since 1980, the usual parade was not held along the Champs Elysees. France has had nearly 210,000 confirmed cases of the coronavirus and more than 30,000 COVID-19 deaths since the start of the pandemic. They instead held a small ceremony involving a military walk-past of dignitaries, and a flyover by the air force.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- MLS Is Back – TUDN / Twitter / TSN
- 8:00 PM: Orlando vs. NYCFC
- 10:30 PM: Philadelphia vs. Miami
- Top Rank Boxing on ESPN – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Oquendo-Herring (junior lightweights)
- Jonathan Oquendo (31-6, 19 KOs) vs. Jamel Herring (21-2, 10 KOs) in a super-featherweight main event in Las Vegas.
- Oquendo-Herring (junior lightweights)
- Chopped – 9:00PM | FOOD
- “Beasts & Bourbon”
- It’s a match made in culinary heaven as four chefs must tame wild game meat in every round and use a different bourbon to accent and complement their dishes.
- “Beasts & Bourbon”
- Wrasslin’ replays:
- WWE Survivor Series (year unknown) – 7:00PM | FS1
Just want to give a shout-out to Wakezilla, who is going through a bit of a family thing right now. He gave me permission to post a family photo from last Christmas,
so let’s all keep him in our thoughts tonight & hope for a speedy resolution to whatever’s going on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=eVlRQn6AMYs&feature=emb_logo
Holy shit. Getting scammed into paying billions for a billionaire’s plaything to make him a fortune while fucking over the city works in the city’s favor this one time.
I’ve just been served with papers by DeSean Jackson’s lawyer with an intent to sue me for harassment.
Strangely it was written on the back of a Jack Chick comic
Not tonight, Rikki. Not tonight.
(with regards to the prospect of getting blackout drunk and listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea in its entirety)
I’ll say it–if you don’t like the Muppets, you’re probably an asshole
Or a really old person. Oh, wait! I liked the muppet show 40 years ago. Maybe I’m not that old!
Muppeting doesn’t stop at Muppets.
*Now in CGI.
Agreed, the whole idea of the Muppets is a good thing.
Plus:
h
ttps://64.media.tumblr.com/eb75fcd30fb4a2b1834276d4255f00f4/0778e4295a4d29f1-ab/s500x750/5652ccc7fd2fadab0d69356d1d6fc4dd53167282.png
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvsl8QQA3bY
*Some actors and film crew practice auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Turns out, you can still die in practice.
“……”
-Korey Stringer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDveDuHo3qo
I am seriously considering leaving a note in the bathroom for tomorrow morning to remind myself that I ate beets tonight.
That’s probably worth like 4,000 bucks on eBay.
I’m always astonished at the morning aftet asparagus pee.
What is the difference between DeSean Jackson and bacon?
Jews can actually rationalize digesting bacon.
This is a very good instrumental version of this song!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL9wE4_TZfM
DeSean Jackson almost didn’t go to Cal because he thought the mascot was Jewish, only to be relieved when he found out there was no relation to the Berenstain Bears.
I don’t care what simulation this is, it will always be Berenstein to me.
Holy shit. It actually is stain. What the fuck. My childhood is a lie.
No, it’s not. We’re just going for a ride in a divergent timeline, that’s all.
(to the tune of ‘Caribbean Queen’)
Farrakhan Queen
Says the Jews caused HIV
Whites are all from Yakub’s cum
Gonna read some L. Ron
It’s no “Dreams and Nightmares”, but if it means another Super Bowl win, I’ll take it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8nWtXp7ns4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xZxxVlu7BM
Just finished doing my taxes, and I am a Republican now.
So you are fine paying for tax breaks for the rich and wealthy?
Kind of — I am convinced that I am paying too much in taxes, probably because of some lazy person on welfare, and I stupidly assume that the GOP is actually going to do anything other than pass more tax breaks for the rich.
Don’t worry, this happens every year, and then it passes after an hour or so. In the meantime… ALL LIVES MATTER! WHO NEEDS CLEAN DRINKING WATER? DUMB PEOPLE WITH LOTS OF MONEY SHOULD RUN THE COUNTRY, AND IGNORE THE ADVICE OF EDUCATED PEOPLE IN DOING SO! LIBERALS ARE OPPRESSING MY FREE SPEECH, AND THEY SHOULD ALL BE FIRED AND IMPRISONED FOR DOING SO!
I’m now putting on my commie freedom muzzle and going to the libtard store.
I just +1d this, so it must have worn off already.
I don’t think Keith is getting old. I think he’s metamorphing?
Isn’t that the joke?
The operational term is “kakistocracy.” Check it out, I am not making it up.
His name is Jeff Bezos, thank you very much.
Look everybody, we got a 1%’er here!
Biker gang type or AB-negative blood type?
DeSean Jackson will be announcing a concept album after his trip to Germany, The Diaries of Anne Frank Ocean
Who has a more evilly twisted mind, Buddy or Reinhard Heydrich?
Buddy is WAAAAAAY funnier.
Reinhard? I’m down right flaccid right now!
Featuring Nick Cannon?
It’s a shame there won’t be a season to use this as a fantasy football team name
Enjoy the rest of your evening:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbAU3CmbW1U
Holy Shit! At the 1 minute mark, I saw that A Guy Called Gerald is still playing shows!!
Ain’t care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s25WLbQKMCU
Fuck yeah!
Kid wanted to see the new cartoon by the people who did Regular Show, so I threw it on, and within 2 minutes, Jason Mantzoukas was discussing orgasms, so I threw it off. Almost like you can’t trust cartoons anymore to do your job as a parent.
That one’s made for HBO so a bit different from Adult Swim fare.
Adult Swim also has adult in the title for a reason. But they are limited by cable rules so 12 to 14 for viewing depending on the sophistication? Except Samurai Jack; everybody can get some Zen from that show.
Regular Show also skewed significantly younger than Adult Swim fare. Wouldn’t raise an eyebrow to it as opposed to Rick & Morty or the like. Of course, with the kid hitting 13, it’s becoming a constant debate between his mother and myself about what’s acceptable to watch. When I was 13, my favorite thing to watch was Spice on my grandfather’s black box when they were asleep, so I’m a terrible model for such things.
Agreed; when I was 13 not only did I and every other one of that age I knew, know about orgasms, it occupied much of everybody’s conscious thought.
Samurai Jack is sublime.
That must have been a hell of an emergency stop
OK. Figured it out. Hitler died 30 April 1945. His chancrous evil fucking satanic soul flew around the astral plane for fourteen or so months until 14 June 1946. On that date, that soul entered the newly born corporeal being we know today as Donald John Trump. And here we are.
Anybody got a better explanation?
Guess that’s a quorum, then.
No; different type of evil and transfer of souls? Not.
Well as everyone knows, Donald had an unusually long gestation period of just about 14 months, which puts conception right around April 30 of the year before, so no soul journey is even necessary! Of course this does come with the corollary that life begins at conception…
It’s not an explanation, but, an analogy. Trump is the chestburster, the USA is Kane.
(look it up, young people)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22YQZgjNh8Q
Blain and Dutch became Governors. I saw Mac/Hawkins for 2020.
Once upon a time, they had him on Weakest Link with other wrestlers and he completely dominated out of nowhere, despite the fact that I think he was still talking with a voice box in the ring at that point, having been severely injured as a child when the Undertaker tried to burn him alive, as one does. Raised some eyebrows, then people started catching on to him having a political blog where it was very clear that he was a psychotic libertarian. It comes as no surprise that he was the sole vote against the mask mandate on the Knox County board of health.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j0Aec1gH7E
Huh. Maybe the ‘rona will dry up some of that manboob sweat?
The Devil, wallowing in self-pity after losing a fiddle duel, stopped at a gas station to drown his sorrows in beer and gas station pizza. The combination messed up his digestive system so he rushed to the nearest rest area. After struggling on the toilet for 40 days and 40 nights, the Devil crapped out Donald John Trump.
In addition to the pizza, I’d bet there were a couple of deep fried burritos off the heat roller rack.
Clearly he didn’t stop at a Sheetz. Rookie.
I’m watching boxing on TWWL. The guy from the the USA came out to the ring, looking and sweating like he just ran a 10k. His opponent looked ready to go. I don’t know boxing, but, the guy from the USA is getting destroyed.
My question is, what was this dude doing before this match?
Whatever it was, it worked. He just won on a TKO.
Again, I don’t understand getting punched in the head and body as a good thing.
Steroids? Probably steroids. I bet he was doing steroids before the match.
“He should’ve worn a heavier outfit.” -D. Wilder
What if we fund an ad campaign and reassure Alabama voters that “Doug Jones” is white?
Good point. My name’s the flipside. My college roommates saw my nom de réalité and expected to see a black guy, only to see a skinny, paler than Olaf white geek show up at the door.
Good story, D”Brickashaw.
Are you Eminem?
Pfft. Next you’re going to try to tell me that “Jerome Powell” is also a white dude.
Wife’s maiden name is potentially, um, urban. Went with her once to the LBPD to clear up a bunch of unpaid tickets that were not hers.
On a completely unrelated note, make sure you’re not voter-roll-erased because of things.
In Ohio, all you have to do is vote once every two years and you stay on the roll. That’s why I’m surprised whenever people get their panties in a twist when the roll gets cleansed.
My great-grandmother died in 1988, she last voted for Reagan in ’84. I think she’ll be fine with her name being taken off the roster.
Some states have done things like: (check for felons) Huh. Darrell Jackson is a felon. Better take all Darrell Jacksons off the voter rolls to be safe.
Yeah that’s stupid. The least they could do is send all the Darrell Jackson’s a notice saying their voter eligibility is being questioned so they have a chance to prove they don’t deserve to be disenfranchised. Also, you could use a Social Security Number to ensure the right person gets culled.
I was proud to vote for him in the last election. He is a good and honorable man, better than rural and suburban Alabama deserves. The cities are democratic strongholds, but everywhere else is…Alabama. I’m just hoping that enough Tide fans can’t bring themselves to vote for a Barner, and he could maybe squeak out a win again.
Yeah, he’s absolutely as liberal as he could be in Alabama and I like his spine.
Much better than Manchin.
As someone who has personally seen Joe Manchin dancing shirtless, and with a wig on, this is correct.
I need some brain bleach. STAT.
Plus, this is not Doug’s favorite song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ainB6qnWBI
The cities are democratic strongholds, but everywhere else is…Alabama.
Same same in Texas.
And Pennsyltucky. And Meatchicken. And… well, I don’t have a name for Wisconsin. Ohio is just fucked.
I wonder if he’d have a better chance if his first name were Basketball.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moeY_ZGWD5o
Popping in to say Doug Jones is trash, but probably literally as good as you’ll ever get out of Alabama
The state once had a communist party comprised of black and white sharecroppers.
Nothing is impossible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOeFhSzoTuc
I just read a historical fiction book about the married couple who managed the Ritz in Paris during World War II. They were secretly working for the resistance while having to serve the German high command who took over the hotel. Really interesting stuff, I am going to see what else I can find out about them.
Here’s a short documentary about them:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72HyWAAVAcE
That kind of thing is right in my wheelhouse, like Alan Furst books. Can you provide more information or are you going to make me do Drunk Googling?
The book is calked Mistress of the Ritz, by Melanie Benjamin. It’s a little romancy, but seems to be pretty well researched. The couple, Claude and Blanche Auzello, are real. Blanche especially was cool, she was an American and was also (secretly) a Jew. She ended up in prison, and was about to be executed when the Americans liberated the jail.
Thanks, I downloaded a sample from Kindle so it won’t slip my mind.
If you like that kind of pre-WWII/early WWII espionage stuff, you won’t go far wrong looking into the aforementioned Alan Furst. Others here have sampled his stuff upon recommendation and been very pleased with the results. Start with Night Soldiers and press on. There are around a dozen novels or so published over the last 30 years.
Thanks, I’ll check it out
“If only we had this Gumbygirl working for us in ’38!” – German high command
I would have been put on the first train to Dachau. Those Nazi’s had no sense of humor, and would have hated an uppity bitch like me!
Huh?
Australia is Willy Wonka’s Factory as an entire continent.
kangaroompa loompa…
I SAID G’DAY SIR!
I know several cat ladies that still love cats no matter how much they get scratched.
They still have a lot of wild in them, which is why they are so awesome. It’s like living with a tiny lion or tiger!
I mean, they are pretty cool
In Australia the sharks are the least dangerous animal there
She knows that shark doin’ its job.
Oh, dear God, that idiot’s gonna be a Senator?!
You have to narrow down the field a little more than that.
I believe that Tuberville can lose the most winnable contest.
I believe Tuberville can lose a game of Klondike Solitaire.
He’s joining the crowd.
Okay, that’s fantastic.
let it go
Let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway
Seeing Jeff Sessions trend and it isn’t in memoriam. Very sad.
Judging purely by what Tuberville did to the JV Bengals, I’m going for Sessions here. It’ll piss Trump off and at least he won’t set the Senate back by decades.
Already been called. Jeff Sessions
dieretire bitch.It’s more fun that Sessions lost. He tried to bootlick his way back into Mango’s good graces and it didn’t work, so it’s doubly satisfying knowing that he pissed away what little dignity he had left for NOTHING.
I’m admittedly surprised, I figured he would have lost the Roll Tide portion of the state, even if he won the War Eagle portion.
Why the fuck is it “War Eagle”? They’re the Tigers.
Seriously. Like Tigers aren’t murderous enough for you?
You’re looking for sense? It’s Alabama! What is a Crimson Tide, and why is Bama’s mascot an elephant? I graduated from UAB, we are the Blazers, our mascot is a dragon. Makes no sense, but hey, DRAGON!
I thought Crimson Tide was when all the algae bloomed and the fish died. Oh, and that song by Steely Dan.
Everyone knows it’s spelled DAGRON.
Because they couldn’t keep a tiger on campus. The war eagle’s aerie is just outside the stadium in the middle of campus.
(I can’t believe I visited Alabama and didn’t get killed)
Found a funny:
Her: let’s role play
Me: ok you be bulbasaur
Her: bulbasaur?
Me: omg that’s great
Bulbasaur, use Vine Whip!
I may be in the minority, but 2010s Stephanie McMahon is the best version of Stephanie McMahon. Its like her dormant genes she got from her father finally kicked in. It may also have something to do with being a mother, due to the Mom Dance Moves,
It’s true. She only had to be on TV for 20 years to learn how to do it and have one (1) good match. It is also true that they are just awful fucking people.
Hey! That’s absolutely, completely, 100% true!
You talking about someone I know?
The commercial Tom Cruise doesn’t want you to see!
Shelley apparently lives a few miles up US 281 from me in Blanco, TX, in an old Pinto or Vega. Very sad story.
From Wiki
Duvall has lived out of public view since her retirement in 2002. In November 2016, USA Today reported that she appeared to be suffering from mental illness. A segment featuring Duvall on Dr. Phil in 2016 drew significant criticism from the public, with many suggesting that Shelley Duvall’s mental illness was being exploited. In the segment, she refused the offered treatment.
I’d tell Dr Phil to suck dirty stump water through a pygmy blowgun myself, so can’t fault her on that.
Fuck. Though, she’s in her 70’s at this point, so I would think she’d have been legally placed somewhere, but the world is garbage, so I’ll have to assume the saddest possible outcome.
It’s fucking Texas. No compassion for losers that don’t have their shit together (TBF, she’s also legally allowed to refuse assistance). Couple folks I know up that way say they see her around town, like a sad bag or shopping cart lady. Not sure when the last sighting was.
Mental illness is a whole different ball of wax; if you are defining “losers that don’t have their shit together” to include people with legitimate mental illness then fuck you with a huge rusty chainsaw. If you are talking about how the majority of Texans view and understand mental illness, then you’d appear to be very accurate.
Based on some of your other comments I’d think it is the second option, at least I’d hope.
Yes. Just because I landed in Texas doesn’t mean I’m a uni-browed knuckle-dragging Neanderthal (not to bag on Neanderthals!).
35% of us in my county in TX did not vote for the overstuffed anthropomorphic orange colostomy bag.
Dr. Phil needs to die a horrible death IMO.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=30PPdLTLlko&feature=emb_logo
Am I the only one that saw this series? I really enjoyed it.
No you are not. Top notch.
Good luck to Wakezilla and family.
Also fuck yeah history post!
Thats a nice good old-timey family photo right there!
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I call her Son Goku, because everyone is lending her their energy so she can survive to defeat the pink skinned blob monster threatening to kill us all.
I look forward to the Senate Republicans remembering what they said regarding Merrick Garland’s Supreme Court nomin—yeah, I can’t finish that sentence.
(By that I mean I obviously hope it doesn’t get to that.)
The excuse will be that Garland would have been chosen in a year that the incumbent was not up for re-election, whereas this time…
Rusty chainsaw dildos etc etc etc. I hope a 747 crashes into Mitch McConnell’s limo or mansion.
Blood FOAR The (Frog) Blood GODS!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBTT3VPriV8
Cool fucking song. I like this version as well, only because Stan Lynch sings lead so rarely. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCLJQrZia2I
What the fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxhzYDN9D1A
I put another version in one of the ten thousand post I made Saturday…. a bit tipsy.
Guess I was too drunk to catch that one.
Penguins-Flyers in two weeks at 4 pm LFG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuWUNq6RUco
I’m sure it is a great song.
PA: “…and thus concludes the National Anthem. Uh, guys, you can stop kneeling now.”
Players: “Give us a minute.”
[Stands immediately, asks for additional towel]
It done broke.
Got my taxes done. I was all excited to find I’m getting $700 back from the feds, only to have my dreams dashed when it turns out I had to pay $800 for state and paying the tax preparer. But good news: I moved up from dead last to next to last in marbles! Look out O’rangers, I am coming for you!
You also forgot to pay the, uh, comment tax. Just send $1 to me for each comment you’ve made.
I could pay you with Monopoly money. Or those yellow and orange cards, can’t remember what they’re called. Community Chest or something?
WOOT!
Obligatoire:
Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za05HBtGsgU&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmeUuoxyt_E
Twbs approves wherever he is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSR9CLcVBMM
The one acceptable Nickelback song.
Damn it! I have failed. Sorry.
50-odd years ago, that song was sung by a different artist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4LWIP7SAjY
Just posting away on the previous thread…. as would be my …..wont.
Are Redacted flags going to become like confederate flags in the Fedex parking lot?
Ferget John Riggins HAYELLLL!!!
So my folks usually winter in Arizona. Usually.
If we can sell our condo we will then buy a small house. Due to the Rina they would have to move in there for 2 months as their summer home is not winterized. I now am not sure I want the condo to be sold.
Bastille Day 1789, eh? I didn’t even know Rush has been around that long.
Hell, only 2/3rds of them are still even alive.