I don’t know about you, but it’s been a bad week professionally. My shoulder is still killing me, I’m expected to return to work in ten days without the institution having a firm COVID plan in place, I found out a job application may have been ’round filed’ & am looking into legal options, and at 6:00PM tonight I’m being dragged into a union ZOOM meeting about responses to management vis-a-vis the return to work.
Current YouTube mood:
Anyway, it’s two weeks until the return of football. I hope you’ve enjoyed the team previews so far. The advantage we’ve had this year is that COVID has kept preseason games to zero, so people are writing about a team pretty much based on pure initiative. It’s been nice not being bombarded by NFL propaganda, which then makes it easier to enjoy the prolific work of writers such as ours, who do it for fun.
Also – fuck 2020. Why did it have to take Chadwick Boseman from us when Clarence Thomas is (literally) sitting RIGHT THERE?!
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Flyers vs. Islanders – 7 p.m | NBCSN / SN / CBC
- Golden Knights vs. Canucks – 9:45 p.m. | NBCSN / SN / CBC
- NBA:
- Oklahoma City vs. Houston – 6:30 PM | TNT / TSN
- Portland vs. Los Angeles – 9:00 PM | TNT / TSN
- Pugilism:
- UFC Fight Night: Smith vs. Rakic
- Prelims – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Main Card – 9:00PM | ESPN+ / TSN2
- UFC Fight Night: Smith vs. Rakic
- Left turns:
- NASCAR Cup Series:
- Coke Zero Sugar 400 – 7:00PM | NBC
- NASCAR Cup Series:
- Fútbol:
- Liga MX:
- San Luis vs. Club América – 7:30PM | UNI
- Guadalajara vs. Pachuca – 8:00PM | TELMUN
- Cruz Azúl vs. Necaxa – 9:55PM | UNI
- MLS Soccer:
- New England Revolution vs. New York Red Bulls – 8:00PM | FS1
- Liga MX:
- Southern hemisphere tackle sports:
- Australian Rules Football:
- Carlton vs. Collingwood – 1:30AM | TSN
- Australian Rules Football:
- Are you fucking shitting me?
- High-School Football:
- St. Xavier at Brownsburg – 6:00PM | ESPN2
- St. Xavier (Ohio) at Brownsburg (Ind.).
- Century Bismarck vs. Legacy Bismarck – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- St. Xavier at Brownsburg – 6:00PM | ESPN2
- College Football:
- Austin Peay vs. Central Arkansas – 9:00PM | ESPN
- High-School Football:
My contempt for my employer & co-workers is barely concealed at this point. I don’t think I’ll make it through the whole meeting.
Second Vieux Carre is better than the first
I’ve heard the fifth is the sweet spot
Is that Shooter McGavin?
If he worked out. Same orgasm tho.
Just made a Vieux Carre because fuck this week
Mac and Cheese ftw
You made it from scratch right?
Mac’s Famous, just like mama used to make
If you need to believe that, then….yes
He followed the Velveeta instructions, so yes,.
.
Dell is about the worst tech company name we have amongst the giants.
A pro knows to do it before, too.
Not after I spent all that time making hamburger patties; it just ruins the mood.
Absolutely. Even I don’t know where I’ve been.
You are probably too young to remember.
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Man – SanDiego is nice. You SoCal guys are pretty lucky in that regard.
I would move to SD in a heartbeat if it didn’t require me to work three years for every six months of living expenses.
Yeah — I mean, that’s like a really high priority to me but, I mean, I guess it’s not my place to judge those who do it differently. Still think it’s craY CA doesn’t pass a legislation where foreigners parking money in RE or “3rd vacation home” buyers just pay a huge fee that goes to subsidiZing locals. Just absolutely wrong you have to work in a local economy and compete for your living in a global economy.
Because they get kickbacks from those same investors.
God Canada is so great. I love the intermission show. It’s a typical halftime show but just Canadian. And I’ve never heard of the names. Very fun.
They interview players going into intermission? How cool.
If I were a hockey coach, I’d try to get power play opportunities. Having more guys on the ice seems like a big advantage.
Novel.
These goal celebrations need moar RUSH
Paula Abdul?
“I like how hockey players catch the puck and put it on the ice. I could never do that.”
-Ted Ginn Jr
“How I See the World.”
by Tucker Carlson
“OOK!”
But for the format making it impossible to display the context, this would have been a banner.
Yes I DO get the knights game.
They’re starting construction on the Silver Knights arena in Henderson now.
That’s VERY funny!
I wish more people would get that joke.
So as an entrepreneurial type person could you put an advertisement on the back of your jersey in the NBA? I mean they are allowed to.put whatever they want on there. What is keeping someone from slapping Hardees or Zion Credit Union on their back?
“Welcome to the Capitol One nba halftime show by brought to you by Capitol One. Capitol One: whats in your wallet? Top story is that lebron will be fined for putting Capitol One on his jersey…..”
will I understand Planet Earth II if I didn’t see planet earth I first?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TfxHdVhz0M
It’s just the other side.
So stoned…..
https://youtu.be/8NF6Qa84mno
The Flyers are my favorite team whom I hate more than any other team in the NHL
2 minutes in the box for not wearing a helmet, that’s just a good ol fashioned Saturday night if you ask me.
Same for a mask.
Beats 18 years of child support, which is the usual penalty for going helmetless.
These 2020 NY Islanders I call them the 1994 NJ Devils because they’re pretty good but fucking BORING to watch.
[stick checking intensifies]
[euphemism]
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!
Flyers looking very golfish right now
The movie The Girl on a Train my wife suggested is very different from what I thought it would be.
What’s you’re looking for is The Train on a Girl
Or “The Girl on a Sybian”
I officially am probably going to get the unicorn house. I’ve got the rental application. I took a second walk by with Eldest Right and the two elder granddaughters and I’m not seeing any downside. I really hope the owner doesn’t really realize what he’s doing and really hope the house isn’t a cartel safe house in reality. It’s crazy to get this house, in this location at this crazy cheap rate. I told him I’m interested in a 2 year lease just to lock the price in.
(blows dust off old city planning maps)
Yup, see here, this house sits right on the city line, and because of a surveying mistake 150 years ago neither municipality will service it with water, trash, electricity, fire, police, or doordash.
It definitely feels like the set up for a low budget horror movie.
Come on, man! Tell me what’s really wrong!
/ stares down garbage disposal.
Man, who WOULDN’T love a taste of #CartelLyf
“I don’t see any downside.”
—Dennis Wilson
But the dank! The dank!
Go you! I bought a house once because I fell in love with it. It was a beautiful 1926 Craftsman bungalow. I will regret selling it to my dying day.
This Flyers-Isles series has been weird. No back and forth, really. Just trading off completely dominating the other team from period to period.
Of course that’s the goal AV chooses not to challenge
Really hope my Hulu picks up the knights game. I’m just fucking exhausted this week; waking up every morning with like a 9% battery. Think it’s just a 2020 low week but I’ll sure as shit be happy to get on the other side of this.
Some decent live sports action would likely help me out. So I expect Trump to disband the NHL in fifteen minutes.
Cheeto Mussolini can take my hockey from my cold, dead hands.
found a funny:
[after having one kid then having twins] wife: we should have sex
fibonacci: absolutely not
I couldn’t get over how the asshole customers who desperately need to eat at the restaurant next to the dentist didn’t wear masks as they were being served but the servers have to be. No wonder my blood pressure was above normal.
Waffles, eggs, tater tots, chorizo, fresh strawberries, white wine for dinner.
Now, more wine.
We’re having chili fries.
You are both the heroes we need right now.
We did home made burgers and got beer and pickles from a local brewery
I’m eating blue cheese and crackers pending dinner decisions.
I made pork chops with fried potatoes, onions, and peppers. Brined the pork all day. It was not health food, but it was pretty damn good.
Mrs. Sharkbait decided to make cookies for no reason. Fuck and yes.
She’s a good woman. And thorough
Right, I think I’m gonna bolt for a while, ’cause work (or rather Wasteland 3) beckons 😀
Jesus, you are around these parts late today
The new Subway commercial rapidly climbing the ranks of my most hated commercials
Is it the one about Jared’s trip to Thailand?
You just killed it.
Tie or Thigh?
lol, someone in accounting is remoting into her work computer to browse pornhub… Why?! WHYYYYYYYYY!?
-XVideos Admin
it’s more immersive to watch hot office porn on an office computer, of course.
For some it helps discipline to make sure everything possible is just like the office.
… so… you’re saying… that we should start doing 360 degree shots of offices to facilitate home-office wanking?
I am not here to judge.
Sounds like you want to be friends with her*
*Friends because she probably won’t have a job there much longer
As long as it’s not kiddie porn and the like, it’s not a problem so long as she uses a whitelisted smut repository (in fact, we may or may not have a massive collection of porn culled from fleet devices in the vain hope that people will stop getting their computers nuked by watching iHerpes-carrying iSmut 😀 )
That was our IT; we don’t care as long as you don’t give us e-syphilis. Then the lawyers, so now you can’t do anything on the work system, which is how it should be anyway. Everybody should have their own private porn stash.
Nah, Legal’s definitely onboard both with the smut repository AND providing us new material for there, though thankfully nowhere near as disgusting than stuff culled from PR/Marketing’s machines… Or so I’ve been told, given the realy weird shit we’ve pulled in the past, that’s now an intern “punishment” assignment 😀
By private I meant on home machines, not work ones.
I am genuinely curious how this works, because if you’ve established a replacement for yespornplease for your fellow employees I’m going to have to email you my resume.
I don’t even have time to do all my work when I’m on my work computer.
Piggybacking on Unsurprised’s comment, here is the Dollop podcast on Ronald Reagan with guest Patton Oswalt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZlRX1EVnSw&t
They should have done more than a face swap so Dave and Gareth are pushing him towards Hinckley
I went to the dentist for the first time since W was president and it turns out my teeth and gums are fine.
Everything is coming up Milhouse!
Ok degenerates, keeper league decision due today: I can keep 3, choosing between the following 4, and I’m inclined to essentially tank this year and play for 2021. PPR league.
Austin Ekeler for a 4th rounder
Davante Adams for a 6th
DK Metcalf for a 14th
DJ Moore for an 11th
Halp
I feel like ekeler in the 4th is decent return for that pick
So who do I omit?
Metcalf is my vote
I’d bail on DJ Moore. Panthers might be a tire fire.
Bail bonds maybe.
Bye bye Adams in my opinion.
So three votes for a different player each. Fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mYbPBUP3-g&feature=emb_logo
Safety first
Is that a scene that was left on the editing room floor from when they cut Silkwood, before she took her legendary shower?
We’re having breakfast for dinner. Mimosas included. It’s a positive in this negative hellscape.
And I’m having a war crime for a midnight snack ( MRE Vomelette, without Tabasco) , because apparently I’m one of the few people on the planet that don’t mind eating those (nor suffer their ill effects 😀 ). I’d post some pictures, but I’m fairly certain that will just land me in a CIA black site for cyber terrorism 😀
Mmmm, British breakfast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=10&v=k6WEatV1oEc&feature=emb_logo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0ciBudwIV0
Turns out this guy is gay. Who woulda thunk it?
I was shocked…. SHOCKED I TELLS YA.
Breakfast for dinner is Always a good plan imho
Flyera imo. Let’s see some good, legal hits, boys.
G’evening ya sexxxy beasts, how are ya this fine … The fuck?! It’s Sunday already?!
top of the morning to ya
Now I feel guilty for being drunk so early in someone’s day.
Never apologize for being ahead of the curve, NEVER!
That’s hours and beers away for me tbh. At least management relaxed the smoking and beer restrictions as work as an “incentive” for us volunteers to be productive XD
whatever it takes in these crazy times
Oh, sure, though in all fairness we had enough volunteers to do these on-site stints like 1 every 4 weeks (in fact, we’ve got alternates in case someone changes his or her mind). Funny how treating your employees well at the best of times yields you loyalty in return (and that was even before they offered 2x overtime pay for the entire 7 days we’re on-site)… Well, that or we are all SO bored from the lockdown that being locked down at work away from our families is reason enough … XD
You’re doing Keto wrong
“?”
-J. Pigeon
COVID is going to win the World Series, the NBA Championship, the Stanley Cup, the NCAA CFB Championship, and the Super Bowl this year.
Edit: probably the Grey Cup too, despite superior Canadian reaxion to the virus.
Still more preferable than any BAWSTAHN team.
Olongapo City, Philippines, circa 1983
I don’t mind if Clarence Thomas hangs on until 2021. As long as he doesn’t resign first (which he probably will once it looks like Leatherface is truly borked).
I cannot fucking wait for this week to come to an official end tonight at midnight. If the hurricane had hit anywhere other than where it actually did, this week would probably be going down as one of the worst 20 in American history. As it is it’s probably in the top 100.
The eyes have it.
Can you mount a protest sign to your head so you don’t have to strain your shoulder?
My contempt for my employer & co-workers is barely concealed at this point. I don’t think I’ll make it through the whole meeting.
Cheers.
Just take a screen shot of yourself and then use that as a background and leave the call
I’ll make sure and let Mr. Beerguyrob know.
Fuck
Land of Confusion Reagan is now canon. I will be curious to see which American war crime they pass off as another country’s this time. Modern Warfare had the Russians doing the Highway of Death in Iraq.
In lighter news, Bring It On turns 20
Speaking of Clarence Thomas, if you want to ruin your whole weekend and week and everything else, you could always listen to this:
https://allthingscomedy.com/podcasts/the-clarence-thomas-hearings
The dollop is a fantastic podcast