NFL Notes:
- It’s looking worse for Leonard Fournette today.
- Not Earl Thomas worse, but pretty bad:
- He cleared waivers unclaimed & is now a true free agent.
- He promptly filed a grievance for the $4.167 million in base salary he believes he’s owed for 2020.
- I half-expect the Patriots to pick him up & turn him into the next 2,000 yard rusher.
- Not Earl Thomas worse, but pretty bad:
- Among the people who did get paid today:
- Bengals RB Joe Mixon – a 4-year extension worth $48 million.
- Lions OL Taylor Decker – a six-year extension worth $85 million.
- The league is looking to set a standard for decibel levels in empty stadiums during games.
- According to ESPN, the league has curated an audio track that would be played at every game without fans.
- The league’s competition committee will meet this week to finalize plans, including the maximum decibel level allowed.
- PFT reported last week that the fake crowd noise is expected to be in the range of 70 to 85 decibels.
- Stadiums with fans will have the option to use the track as well.
- The league’s competition committee will meet this week to finalize plans, including the maximum decibel level allowed.
- According to ESPN, the league has curated an audio track that would be played at every game without fans.
- Get ready for your MAGA relatives to start pounding out Facebook responses: Roger Goodell confirmed the phrases “It Takes All of Us” and “End Racism” would appear in NFL end zones this season.
- As well, the NFL will be joining with social justice groups to promote voter registration.
- It’s all part of the league’s “Inspire Change” program.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Islanders vs. Flyers – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360 / CBC
- Game 5 – Isles lead 3-1
- Canucks vs. Vegas – 9:45PM | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
- Game 5 – Vegas leads 3-1
- Islanders vs. Flyers – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360 / CBC
- NBA:
- Jazz vs. Nuggets – 8:30PM | TNT / TSN5
- GAME 7, BAY-BAY
- Jazz vs. Nuggets – 8:30PM | TNT / TSN5
- MLB:
- Blue Jays at Marlins – 6:30PM | FS1 / Sportsnet1
- Athletics at Mariners – 9:30PM | FS1
- U.S. Open Tennis:
- First Round – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- MLS:
- Toronto FC vs. Montreal – 8:00PM | TSN4
Joliet Jake has you tomorrow night for AEW Dynamite, so I’ll be back on Thursday.
Toodles.
JUST HOLD THE BAT 91° IN FRONT OF YOU SO WE CAN ALL GO HOME!!!
Evening lizard people. I played a proposal today and shit was so close to hitting the fan.
MOAR
Basically it was in one of the private public places, so they didn’t realize they needed a permit and we were initially stopped asking what we were doing with the tripods and everything else. After explaining the situation and gaining permission we said it would be 20-30 minutes.
About 50 minutes later someone the supervisor came back and asked the planning people (the guy’s sister and two best friends) “I thought you said it would be 20-30 minutes.” The guy hit traffic or something so they had to smooth it out.
Again, I don’t know how thin his patience was by the end of it. Probably fairly thin.
Oh. I was hoping she didn’t say yes right away and had to be talked into it.
DH-P Davidson is getting the Swing-So-We-Can-Forget-This-Damn-Game sign.
Takes me back to Little League. “Dad, what should I do here?”
“We’re down 11-3, three of your teammates are crying, and there’s no one on base. Close your eyes and swing three times; you get on base and drag this thing out an longer and you’ll walk home.”
So you’re the kid who hit that catcher in the head on a swing!
Enough with the sex talk.
Ah ha. The Reds have scored their Middle Reliever-turned-Center Fielder. Its all going according to plan.
Apparently Joe is the first Kennedy to ever lose a primary in Massachusetts. Maybe time to stop looking to the same family to run shit after 60 years?
“Now let’s not be hasty”
-Bushes and Clintons
/is it Bushes or Bush’s or Bushs?
No matter how you spell it, their baked beans are not very good.
No matter how they look, a Bush will always leave a bad taste in your mouth.
You are not eating the right bush.
It was burning, for Christ’s sake! Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.
You can’t always see the tracks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTV5FvNCbhk
For bear hunting too.
The smell of burning porn ‘stache can take some getting used to.
DH Matt Davidson with the fearsome 64 MPH WTF Pitch.
Isn’t that the guy who hosted That’s Incredible?
Possibly. He came out of nowhere to be the Opening Day DH. My theory is he was a diehard fan who showed up anyway out of tradition, the Reds felt sorry for him and they gave him a jersey and put him in the 6-hole.
Why else would he get a high number in #64? That’s a September call-up number!
That guy used to stay with his grandparents at the place my family had a summer cottage. The young moms used to totally perv on him at the pool when he was a nubile young teenager, according to my mom who was there! She said she was pretty sure a few of them were banging him.
“That’s pretty fast.” -Zack Greinke
Post-game-almost-baseball-brawl.
No punches were thrown, of course. Not like this was a hockey game.
1st Base Umpire: “Your teammate walked. You can go to 2nd Base.”
Red Player on 1st: “With all of these people around?”
“I’ll be there in a few.”
–Randy Travis
So, having not visited at all since the Stalinist purge, I decided to see what Deadspin looks like these days. I only stayed for 15 seconds or so. It appears as though they have hired some replacement writers, and comments do not seem to be part of the experience. That whole debacle was such a shame.
I’m still on the fence about signing up for rogue deadspin.
Did you check for radiation?
Nah, but briefly contemplated taking a Silkwood Shower.
Sexy.
I checked out our former home. Didn’t recognise it at all and no football section at all.
Aroldis Chapman throwing a Rays’ heads with 2 outs in the 9th is a thing, I guess.
Its Chapman. He was probably aiming for the bottom outside corner of the strikezone.
Or his girlfriend on the other side of the garage.
Reds have gone old school and put the DH on the mound so he can earn his at bats like a real baseball player!
Your misspellings amuse me. But no, Marshawns cannot mate with humans. I give you Exhibit A…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSBJxtEed1s
https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/news/crime/2020/08/31/no-charges-vincent-scavetta-royal-palm-walmart-mask-dispute/3448875001/
Florida and WalMart, in front of a kid? Why not?
Washington, BAWSTAN, and Philly losing in the playoffs?
Luckily for everyone here, the Lakers are still playing well!
Celebrate with me, everyone!
Can we follow that up with tragic Islanders elimination in the next round?
The father, the son, the holy crap!
Classic “two goal lead is the most dangerous lead in hockey” right there .
Cincy is pulling the old “Give Them a 15 Run Lead and Let Them Put Their Backups and Benchwarmers in Trick” on St. Louis.
Just so nice to see a guy like Joe Mixon finally get the break he deserves.
One of the good ones*
*Domestic abusers
Give him credit, he choose to stay in Cincinnati for the peak of his career. That could be considered an act of contrition.
Well he’s dished out so many breaks over the years, only fair he gets one back.
“Stadiums with fans will have the option to use the track as well”
Piping in fan noise? Who would have thought what the Colts were doing 15 years ago would be considered ground breaking stuff now?
https://sports.theonion.com/i-still-think-the-1986-boston-celtics-were-better-sa-1844908854
I see Drew’s writing for The Onion now.
I thought he was……
Satan comes in the form of what you most desire.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/29781952/nick-saban-leads-alabama-athletes-march-protest-social-injustice
So, social experiment: Does the presence of a MAGA hat stop a liberal boner in its tracks?
Discuss…
Sample 2:
Obama was as right-wing as Reagan, so I guess this is okay.
“Reagan Was As Left Wing As Obama!”*
*willing to bet that this post gets 10,000 likes on my Facebook page because this is where we are
So it would seem.
Not the liberal boner, but dealing with someone that fucking stupid is not worth it. Some women who can form a reasonable approach to certain “conservative” issues are fine. Any Trump supporter is off the fucking rails.
No. The answer is no, it won’t stop any physical, hormonal reaction.
The Reagan/Bush girl definitely has a MILFy mom that’d be right up my alley.
Are they twins twins, or Landers sisters twins?
To be fair, you know they do anal because it’s the hetero sex that God can’t see, so it’s fair play
The MAGA hat wouldn’t even slow me down, (unfortunately for them, I guess, but I’m clearly not there for the witty conversation after), but pretty sure my wife would.
Today is Gumby’s 60th birthday. Hahahahahahahaha!! He’s ancient!
( Mine is the 26th)
WhooHoo!! Congratulations!
We pretty much have a month long birthday festival, but I love these change of decade ones. I’m in my 50’s still, married to a much older man, for 25 days!
Ha ha! That’s very cool! Enjoy the monthlong celebration!
Iggy Pop (73 years old) is available to perform at your party for a slice of birthday cake, three lines of coke, 2 Bud Lights and a place to sleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=def3ob2h-1s
I love him. Cake yes, coke no (been there, done that) Bud light never, but lots of weed!
It’s a compensation joke, you would not be forced to consume it.
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Fuck yeah September birthdays. I’m the 8th
Yay! September is the greatest month!
Every birthday that ends with a zero must be celebrated in Vegas. I think it’s a rule in the state bylaws
That was in the before times.
Happy birthday to you both, because I’m too old to remember the 26th will be yours or anyone’s birthday by tomorrow.
Thanks!
Cardinals are beating Cincinnati 11-0. I don’t know why Arizona went for two, it seems like overkill, but I guess they don’t have much faith in their kicker. Anyway, lets see how Burrow responds to this…
What? St. Louis Cardinals? That a baseball team. Oh, that’s far worse.
Dumbass!
Something something
The planes in Spain
Something something
/Flyers down 3-1 in the series and up 2-1 in Game 5.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYcPBE5PXhs
As joke in a group text, I told a friend I could coach a team to a better record than Hue Jackson over a two year span.
What started out tongue in cheek, actually had me wondering if it could be done. I couldn’t do much worse at least
It’s not that fucking difficult. It’s like being a manager in business. It’s managing personalities, motivating people, and putting people in the right place/spot to succeed.
You hire the right assistant coaches to handle the football part, I say you go 7-9 your first year.
There it is! If you ever become a manager (of any sort whatsoever) lean into your strengths and hire good folks to cover your weaknesses.
They also need to be good scapegoats.
So, the Trump managerial stratergery..
Indeed a big part of it.
This is true. Most successful head coaches don’t control everything. They get coordinators and position coaches that can follow their vision and game plan and let them do the grunt work.
You just need to practice seagull management; fly in and change things out of the blue at the right time to most humiliate/ emasculate the assistant coach and then blame/ fire him when it goes wrong.
Ice Jets taking care of BIDNESS!!
I haven’t seen islanders deal with opposing flyers like this since the RAF and the Battle of Britain!
“Never in the course of human history have so few fans cheered for so good a team against so evil an opponent.”
Philly role playing the 509th Composite Group in 1945 during that 2nd period…
Even in this sports landscape, I still can’t bring myself to watch basketball
That’s not a real sport…next you’ll be telling us there’s an NFL team called the “Texans.”
Okay, how about this:
Trump is against the NBA. If you don’t watch basketball, you stand with Trump!
Where’s my MAGA hat?
Are you up for anything?
I’m up for her, yeah!
Obviously stupid enough to be talked into anything.
Nice flotation devices.
Crippled by her IQ now and her lower back later on.
Reaction shot of me checking on the Reds game going on right now:
game. Celtics now up 2-0 in the series.
hey now.
yes that 4th qtr was fun.
Pascal’s Wager was that if he went to the hoop he’d either get the bucket or get fouled.
Pascal Wager is on LinkedIn.
Slovenia kinda jumps out there, but the reason why escapes me at the moment.
These days a lot of cross country traffic from Austria and Croatia.
Or maybe that is just a porn I was watching.
If your search term was “President’s Third Wife,” then chances are good.
Nice.
Prostitutes, “students”, who can tell the difference? Why is Poland wearing a little red hat?
Kaliningrad looks at you with Russian disgust, like a Russian hooker peeing on our President.
“Poles wearing little hats?”
-Germany
Iceland off the charts!
They pay you to fuck them.
-Nihilist Icelander
kemba walker step back!!!
Celtics up 3.
On Sunday, I kind of thought about laying $200-$350 on the Celtics winning the title
“Do It!”
-Gambloringdog
I mean, what more can you say about that episode, from the conception to the execution it was nearly flawless.
LOL wine in a can
so innovative
“From up 10 to down six is no way to play, son.”
-Dean Wormer
Fuckbags! Marcus Smart is on fire.
Is he now Buddhist?
He’s raging against the Raptors machine, is what he is doing.
Not leaded I hope.
marcus smart HITTING BUCKETS!!!!
He’s insane.
Where does she buy her bras? Husqvarna’s Secret
I’m Stihl laughing at this.
hopefully this 4th quarter is fun
“That was a shot to heart. He gives gliders a bad name. A bad name.”
-Jon Bon Jovi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=NJGuvt05avk&feature=emb_logo
We need to stop meeting like this; people are talking.
The Raptors need 12 minutes of great D
Wife: [slowly turns her head towards me]
Me: “You can just shut up.”
Luckily that converts to six minutes of good D
In this case we know for sure it means defense.
IN A ROW?!
Watch out for women with Auxiliary Atom Fuel Tanks in their pussies.
This week in “Jokes From Yesteryear,” this one circa NHL Playoffs Round 1, 2014-2017:
I haven’t seen Russians perform so bad in a Trotzian System since 1938!
found a funny:
girlfriend: this is my dad howard
me: nice to meet u.. *we lock eyes* howard u doing
him: *maintaining eye contact* sarah this is the one
I like bubble basketball because the refs don’t seem to be swayed by these types of crowds.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/an-analysis-of-nearly-4-million-pitches-shows-just-how-many-mistakes-umpires-make?utm_source=pocket-newtab
I believe that study was done by “The Sky Is Blue and Water is Wet Institute of Analytics”.
Never seen a 747 on that airfield.
Good for you.
“Just gonna pop this in reverse and we’ll be out of here in a jiffy”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTbXxN1PqFo
This is indeed a dark and terrible year.
Wat
this Celtics-Raptors is a bit back and forth
Islanders leading the Flyers in “Inner Slot Shots,” but Philly’s 6 in one night is pretty respectable.
According to ESPN, the league has curated an audio track that would be played at every game without fans.
I hope they use laugh tracks from 1960s & 70s situation comedies.
I want the one used on Sanford & Son, the writing wasn’t that great, but the cast was fucking fantastic.
That theme would take the edge off of the impending dozen Bengals losses.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl71DM84Wc4