That’s right, y’all.  The SEC is back, and with a glorious 10-game league schedule.  Finally, a fall Sabado that actually feels like a doggone Sabado!

But first, you get another Premier League morning, kicking off with United away to Brighton (7:30, NBCSN).  This is…not ideal timing for the Trash Birds, with Diablos del Rojo coming off a very humbling home defeat – to Uncle Woy’s Palace.  Assuming this squad isn’t fatally flawed, expect a reaction.

Speaking of Uncle Woy?  Hosts the MOAR fashionable Don Carlo Ancelotti and his Toffees (10:00, NBCSN).  Look, I know the shoe will eventually drop, and I will be cursing at the teevee/laptop soon enough.  Just maybe not this week?  Pretty please, Everton??

Kind of a wet fart of a spotlight dance, but Chelski are away to the Brummies (12:30, NBC), if so inclined.  Me?  I’mma watch JV ball.  Especially during the late fixture (Saints at White Lives Matter, 3:00, NBCSN).  At least this week, I am pleased as to how the schedule shakes out.

Desperate Knifey at Media Sensation Leeds (7:00) is Sunday’s best offering.  You get three matches on NBCSN, followed by a dire 2p on Peacock that nobody will watch (RedZone WOO!!!).

Kansas State (+28) at Oklahoma (Noon, Fox)

Surely, they won’t waste Gus Johnson here?  But I surely expect Manhattan’s finest to give Steerfuckers North more of a test than Vegas expects.

Florida (-14) at Ole Miss (Noon, ESPN)

Yeehaw, when Johnny Reb puts his’n mind to it, he can do damned near anything.  Except succeed at FITBAW.  Or wear shoes.  Anyway, it’s always nice to laugh at Lane Kiffin.

Mississippi State (+16.5) at LSU (3:30, CBS)

Line looks (and probably is) way too low, but I guess Vegas gives Dread Pirate Leach hella respek.  I will watch just for the quips, philosophizing, and stories.  Also, the Bayou Bengals did lose like 80% of their two-deep.  Maybe we will get a decent game?

West By God Virginia (+6.5) at Oklahoma State (3:30, ABC)

If a jug band were a state, would it be WV or OK?  Either way, I’d keep my asshole wedged tight against a brick wall.  BDSM State looked horrid last week, but this line seems low.

Alabama (-28.5) at Missouri (7:00, ESPN)

Welcome to the SEC, Eli Drinkwitz.  Hope you are renting, not buying.

Vanderbilt (+30.5) at Texas A&M (7:30, SEC Alternate)

SEC Alternate channel is pretty obscure.  You probably haven’t heard of it.

NC State (+7) at Virginia Tech (8:00, ACCN)

This line opened at 10.  I’m just sayin’…but no, I ain’t wagerin.’  Who knows how that whole #NuAIDS thingamabob has impacted Forcibly Non-Gendered Turkeys’ depth chart?  YES, I am in the bargaining stage.

Enjoy all the action, and some fine Clubhouse (imaginary) fellowship.