Five games to choose from! Let’s do this!
TO THE GAMES!
Jets/Colts:
“WILL COACH GASE MAKE IT TO WK. 8?” I mean, he’s gotta be the first guy shown the door, right? Between his own gase-ness and the injury bug taking up residence at the training facility he’s got a hard kettle of fish to row. Perpetual Tiger Beat coverboy Jonathan Taylor Thomas is ready to break tween girl’s hearts and the spirit of the Jets D.
Panthers/Chargers:
LA’S QB LOSES HIS JOB TO TEAM’S DOCTOR is what the headlines should have read. There’s no truth to the rumour that said doc was seen accepting a fat envelope from Justin Herbert’s agent in a dark alley at midnight. It was actually done thru Paypal in the middle of the workday.
Bucs/Broncs:
Denver has the 3rd most snaps taken by rookies and that will only increase as K.J. Hamler subs for Sutton. On tudder side, Jeudy leads the league in dropped passes with three.
Lions/Cards:
There was all kinds of talk on Giants boards about shoring up the secondary by drafting Isaiah Simmons because he was a ‘do everything’ sort of player. Well, the Cards ended up taking him and inserting into the lineup right away. He did some things for sure, including giving up 3 catches for 86 yards and 2 TD’s. Last week he played all of 7 snaps.
Cowboys/Seahawks:
This is the barnburner most folks’ll be fixated on. Whoever is playing slot for Dallas will feast because Seattle cb Ugo Amadi is surrendering an 80% catch rate so far this year. Who does he think he is, Buster Skrine? smh…
Do as you do below.
Aikman is wishcasting again
Trump paid a porn star $129,250 more than he did the US government
Get that in a campaign ad immediately
Wilson had all year to throw and couldn’t find anyone
He was looking for a P*ts defender
Or Jesus.
He usually finds those in a second
So Dann Quinn, Adam Gase and Matt Patricia are driving in a car…
Which one is driving?
…into the tree?
They would miss the forest
Ditka
Please let it be a Ford Pinto
A wild bridge abutment arrives…
Bumper music for Dallas is now the Grateful Dead? Wtf
Tribute to Jerry Jones.
I read that as Terry Jones at first glance.
Appropriate
So the Colts being -11.5 was being generous.
Looks like Zeke started a new diet routine.
The Michael Irvin Diet?
Aikman’s clitoris gets so engorged when Dallas starts rolling.
Well, there’s a visual that could possibly haunt my dreams.
possibly???
Dallas wakes up
My fantasy team is taking bigger losses than the last 20 years of Trump’s tax returns
MRSA Dreamboat…taken by Chubb from behind!
My initial excitement for the potential existence of a 2020 NFL season has waned dramatically.
Bad football is still football
Ekeler down pls
Entire NFC Best over .500
Conviniently unlike the NFC Least
Can’t wait for the Skip Bayless hot takes on nobody deserves playoff home game. Oh wait I can
RIP Gase. Finally.
But that’s a male squirrel
That guy’s nuts!! Grab ’em!
Fired?
Not officially.
SubSticktution!
I guess we shouldn’t be too shocked that the German version of the American adaptation of a Danish fairy tale took some creative liberties.
There is a QB named Stick that is about to enter the Chargers game. Repeat “Stick”
Ded Duck!
I didn’t even realize Mariotta was still alive up to this point
Oh, Stick Johnson? Love that guy.
He was a pretty good car driver on Top Gear, if a little taciturn.
Stick gonna throw it
SICKKKKK STICKKKKK
Clangy Zeke is best Zeke
Zeke got face collared
D9d!
Seattle Secondary is going to keep Dallas in this game.
Dallas can score at will on Seattles defense
And Donald Trump has been the best president for the Blacks since Lincoln.
-Somebody nowhere near recovery.
Somewhere, there is a fantasy matchup that pitted Joey Slye against Gostkowski
[Two pick-6’s in one game]
“Ah ha, it was me all along!”
-Matt Schaub tearing off his Sam Darnold mask
This Scooby Doo fanfic needs way more busty Velma.
It’s a good thing Clippers du Merde ain’t got no fans.
I don’t mind the Cowboys losing, in fact I expected it, but I would appreciate if both sides could step up the scoring, and if Wilson could maybe throw a few balls to Carson along the way.
Lambdowns please.
Also acceptable
Thank you very much
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Russell Wilson ties Patrick Mahomes for the most touchdowns through three games in NFL history. There's still almost a full half to go. <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Seahawks?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Seahawks</a></p>— John Boyle (@johnpboyle) <a href=”https://twitter.com/johnpboyle/status/1310345311802462208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>September 27, 2020</a></blockquote> https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
You get Leon Lett’d, you win in a laugher. The maths checks out.
Fuck football.
Touchdown SeaHox
HOX!!!!
Dak’d!
SUDDEN CHANGE!
I really miss all our Jest fans, but I understand why they would give up.
The last time New York Jets crashed this badly we invaded Afghanistan
Kyler having a ‘mare today
turns pout Herbert is who we thought he was
He couldn’t overcome the curse of me taking a flyer and starting him over Brady and Brees.
Everyone on Denver is ded, though I imagined they would run more than they have.
I’m not sure that Schultz will do much against Seattle, but I stand by my decision to start him over Fant, based solely on the Driskell factor.
I would have done the same there, no question
Slapping some burgers on the grill for the last official meal at the El Segundo right house. Cracked my first coldie at precisely noon. Good news; all the fishies survived the first night at the new place. Now it’s up to the movers to do the heavy shit.
Good for the fishies, otherwise…
WE WANT FLACCO!
Wacko 4 Flacco!!!
Netflix has a short series called ‘High Score’ that covers the development of video games from Space Invaders to now. The episode on the ultraviolent games like Mortal Kombat was interesting, and also pretty funny given how no one would even blink at the original versions of those games today.
ABACABB during the copyright screen to enable blood and gore on the Sega Genesis version. The SNES version simply had it removed.
OTOH, the other members of Genesis refused to record Sussudio and Phil Collins had to release it as a solo record.
At least I do nae regret switching Survivor pick from Qards to Humps.
I went Tomsulas despite the menu board of injuries.
I’m okay with that.
Sam Darnold is not good.
Touch of Downs is beating the Jest…solely by points scored for the Humps. That’s pretty impressive, when you think about it.
That was a very uninspiring attempt at the first half of an NFL contest.
Really enjoying the Denver-TB game that CBS seems to think people in New England want to see, instead of like, oh, Dallas-SeaTruthers.
But is TAAWWWWMY playing for Seattle or Dallas?
That’s exactly it, of course, which is even more annoying because even with Tawwmy 2.500 miles away I still have to hear about him every goddamn week.
We gets Dallas/Truthers locally, even.
Local CBS used to give Seattle Tennessee games because UW Jake Locker played for them. Or Jake the Mistake as he was known
Wilson to Lockett is the new Aikman to Irvin
Looks like you overdid the edibles.
Do you mind if I feel your forehead? It’s important.
You’ve said that before and it’s just a distraction.
Russell such a nice guy, he goes to Lockett TWICE from gimme range. After he did…what he done earlier.
Jesus told him to.
Good point, Black Jesus is pretty chill. One forgets that, given…Hillbilly Jesus’ local inflUence
Holy cats, Cap’n BlueBunny gets fatter every week.
yeah, this game is ape shit
Dallas isnt used to being effed like this
Yeah, it’s like they’re Houston!
You will NEVAR see an example of “Stars (ok, STAR) and Scrubs” strategy better than the SeaTruthers.
It’s fucking criminal that Wilson has never been MVP.
good shoulders, so yeah the one on the left is a GODDAMNED STAR
Sarah Chalke. She is awesome. Plays Beth on Rick & Morty.
Beth is a badass character, too
found a funny:
If you only show your kids Jurassic Park from 3:30 to 54:00, it’s just a story about scientists visiting a quiet dinosaur farm.
I picked CLT in my loser’s pool, but watching this Clippers du Merde chucklefuckery is still just so very wonderful
CLT needs to be stimulated vigorously.
Not that Rivers would know. He’s about as useful as a 9/11 hijacker just ramming straight into the jets