Cleveland Roulette: Garrett or Trubisky?

So whose it gonna be? Whose luck finally runs out when the Browns turn in their draft index card thingy?

Is it going to be Myles Garrett, the three-year star out of Texas A&M, who averaged over ten sacks and two forced fumbles a season? The 6’4″, 272-pound nightmare fuel who ran a 4.62 40, benched 33 reps and had a 41-inch vertical jump? I mean, for Bleergh’s sake, that leap was fourth best overall at the Combine, beaten by two defensive backs and a wideout. This dude is productive in both testing and live-fire games. He’s been the consensus Number 1 pick since January by everyone other than clickwhore contrarians who are trying to stand out in the oversaturated field of “draft experts” solely by being controversial. Is that enough for Cleveland?

Or will it be Mitch (not “Mitchell”- you’ve been playing for too long on a national stage to try to change now, goober) Trubisky, the not-quite-consensus top passer in this year’s class? A couple of weeks ago, the rumors started spreading that Cleveland was actually fixed on Trubisky and might not be willing to take their chances that he falls to their second pick at #12. The man has a big arm, good accuracy (completing 67.5% of his passes in a pretty rough ACC) and the calm demeanor that Cleveland sorely needs in its signal caller. His one full season of action had him throwing 30 touchdowns to only 6 interceptions, plus 5 rushing touchdowns. He’s also a local boy, so it would be like Hoyer Country, but with more actual talent. Plus, you have the Sashi Brown-Paulk DePodesta statfreak front office, whose models almost certainly assign a greater value to a halfway-competent passer than to a top player at any other position.  So is the possible performance and PR boost enough to make Cleveland reach a bit to ensure they get their quarterback of choice?

All I know is that both players are probably praying with all their hearts that the other one’s number comes up. God help them both.

Just kidding. They are not going to take either- early betting puts “Trade The Pick to New England for Magic Beans” at 9.5 to 1

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; gentle yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called most of these things.
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; gentle yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called most of these things.
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The Right Reverend Electric MayhemMoose -The End Is Well NighscotchnautSenor WeaseloBrocky Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ERRY GOT DAMN FUCKIN’ DAY. PAL!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I AIN’T Y’ALL’S GOT DAMN PAL, BUDDY!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

LISTEN HERE BROTHER!!!!

scotchnaut

“Heads Up-If you’re trying to get off your anti-depressant meds you’ll end up crying at the end of the movie “Dave” because we don’t know what the hell is going on right now.”

-Somebody’s Psyche

Beerguyrob

Is there a chance they trade their pick to the Roughriders for Vince Young?

Brocky

Well, there is now

Senor Weaselo

You know how any sports movie has the scout/coach go “So what do you say, do you want to be a *insert team here*?” I wonder how that conversation goes with the Browns.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Just drop “insert” from that line?

/seems like a reasonable guess

Senor Weaselo

I assume the response to “Do you want to be a Cleveland Brown?” is “Oh dear god, please, no! Have mercy on… no, please!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Corey Coleman
Danny Shelton
Justin Gilbert
Barkevius Mingo
Trent Richardson
Phillip Taylor
Joe Haden
Alex Mack

Those are each of the Brown’s first picks since 2009. It is clear that whomever they pick will suck.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

If you add in that they drafted Manziel (2014) and Weeden (2012) in the first rounds as well, it turns their dumpster fire into a fiery inferno.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

As long as Garrett doesn’t fall to SF, I’m happy.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Which one did the homeless man tell Haslam to take?

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jjfozz

“And the Cleveland Browns select George ‘The Animal’ Steele as their first pick.”