Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

It’s hard not to be excited for this one, isn’t it? But first, let’s do

Fallout:

-Foles is in and we’ve likely seen the last of Truth Biscuit in a Bears uni, barring injury. Looks like he becomes just another backup that floats around and you hear his name and say, “He’s still in the league?”.

-Another candidate must be Team’s Haskins. His QBR is 28, 10 points behind backup Kyle Allen’s 38. His percentage of uncatchable passes sits at 31.1% which is 10 points higher than the next in line.

-More qb news? Okay, Carson Wentz has also been all kinds of awful-on passes beyond 10 yards he throws an uncatchable ball an amazing 62.2% of the time. The next worst guy is at 50%.

-Josh Allen made believers out of some folks but not me. But then I looked at one stat and did a double-take. He sits at 13th in the league in adjusted pass completions and his PFF passing grade is 5th so far this year at 83.9. You know what might help to improve his play even more? (see below)

-I’ve whined about it, and Hippo has made mention as well-GIVE THE BALL TO SINGLETARY MORE! Yesterday he ran 13 times and had a 5.5 ypc average. He was also thrown to 4 times and made off with a 12.5 yard average. You add that up and it’s 17 touches. I’m not pointing this out as a fantasy guy but as a football fan. I just don’t get it-he’s a dynamic back that simply doesn’t get the opportunity to show what he can do. Gah!

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Ravens:

-there’s so much to talk about it’s hard to identify what is most salient but I’ll kick a few cans around.

-K.C. must be stout on early downs so that the Ravens are put in 3rd and long situations. The Ravens convert on 44% of 3rd downs which is a middle of the pack number but are still successful. That’s due to the fact that they don’t see that many because they’re getting fresh downs earlier in the possession. On 4th downs Baltimore led the league in conversions with a gaudy 71% success rate.

-The Chiefs need to target the lb unit because it consists of two rooks and 30 yr old L.J. Fort. Tight ends for the Texans and Browns have feasted to the tune of 16/148/2 so far this year.

-Speaking of te’s, Mark Andrews lines up in the slot 66% of the time so he should see plenty of Honey Badger. That matchup should be interesting.

-You figure this one will be close and high-scoring which means that someone will have to make a play to get the W. Lamar? Pat? Tyreek? Chris Jones? Dobbins? CEH? Who’s it gonna be?

CAN’T WAIT! for you to provide commentary below.

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Sharkbait

Am I a bad person for wanting more Mahomesdowns?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Scoring record broken vs. Denver Broncos.

King Hippo

Oh shit, I don’t even want to think about that. And we get it TWICE.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gangbang porn.

Fronkenshteen

My god. Are there any other teams in the league that can give these guys a run for their money? This is a fucking mismatch.

King Hippo

Maybe Wilson can keep pace on his best day? But Spagnulo will eviscerate that OL.

SonOfSpam

The Chefs were UNDERDOGS this game.

King Hippo

By more than the “standard 3” for home field

litre_cola

Hell yes they were. ML was absurd!

King Hippo

Crowd sure got quiet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“…..”

SonOfSpam

Around week 13 last season I was in Vegas and put $20 on the Chefs to win the Superb Owl at 7-1.

Whatever it is right now, it’s a pretty good bet.

Spur

Andy Reid is going to enjoy that bucket of crabs at half time.

SonOfSpam

(those buckets)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

(for appetizers)

litre_cola

Good lord. He got torched.

SonOfSpam

That play in the huddle:

“Um…I dunno, get open.”

Gratliff

Jeeesus

King Hippo

Seriously. One runs out of superlatives.

Spur

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SonOfSpam

“How much for the Richard Pryor?”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Would you like a Pepsi to go with that fire, Mr. Jackson?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s fucking hilarious.

Mr. Ayo

Live picture of the Rat Bird’s defense.

Spur

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SonOfSpam

Good.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

The Vertical Worm: nature’s deadliest dance move

King Hippo

Bet KC tries to control clock, kill of the half and go in 27-10.

JimU

KC should pull Mahomes in the second half.

rockingdog

LOL
this is a real place in upstate NY
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WCS

Dan Snyder approved!
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clint greasewood

Tax scam

From Wikipedia
Trump purchased the property for $2 million in the 1990s, and donated it in 2006[1][2] after he was unable to gain town approvals to develop a private golf course on the property.[3] At that time Trump claimed the parcel was worth $100 million. He used the donation as a tax write-off.[4][5]

So it ended up being a tax scam

JimU

A Donald Trump tax scam? I’m shocked!

Spur

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Game Time Decision

nailedit

litre_cola

Why are Butker’s kickoffs so shitty?

Gatoraids

To stay consistent with his extra point attempts

SonOfSpam

This Mahomes fella has a chance to be decent someday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Last edited 3 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Bears made the right call to pass on him

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, but they would have fucked him up somehow.

Spur

turned him into a receiver

SonOfSpam

Ain’t that the truth. Biscuit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Holy fuckballs, what a throw

herodotus450

Patrick Queen and Jihad Ward on the same team. The world could learn a valulable lesson on friendship from this.

Spur

Any IT nerds where. Is Office 365 still down?

Mr. Ayo
Sharkbait

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Spur

Sweet. So am not missing any emails. it’s just a slow night.

Game Time Decision

Back up now

ArmedandHammered

This is why I still use Office 2007.

clint greasewood

Broncos have ruled out Bortles for TNF against the Jets.
So Sam Darnold vs Jeff Driskel or Brett Rypien

Sharkbait

I still kinda want to take Donks (woo) at -2.5

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ummmmm….

Sharkbait

Thats a bad idea isnt it?

SonOfSpam

Dunno, but it feels like a game where both teams will end up with negative points.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They are playing and coaching very bad right now, combined with injuries at key positions….

Sharkbait

True…but Jest?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s have a fight about who is the most incompetent.

Game Time Decision

Bet the tie at 0-0

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d agree, but both defenses are……

SonOfSpam

Broncos banned Bortles bro?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The better shakeweight

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe.

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Bogdanski

Did I just hear “kelce found a semen”? Please insert appropriate gif

WCS

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Bogdanski

I was thinking kelce doing the wanking motion but this might be better

Last edited 3 years ago by Bogdanski
Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NAILED IT!

ArmedandHammered

I’m here to chew grass and kick an ass, and I am all out of grass.

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw a UConn alum scored a touched down. Is Horatio ok?

King Hippo

I hope these doofus MLB playoffs get MLS-calibre ratings.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

The NFL better not take off Sunday Night so the World Series can play that night. Make them schedule around

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oooh a Trump commerical with people saying they’re scared of a Joe Biden presidency. Very real people, much doge.

King Hippo

I mean, if one thing is troof, is how Black women really are skeered of Diamond Joe.

Unsurprised

Maybe they have small children.

Fronkenshteen

Tomlin would’ve tripped him.

WCS

Bill Cowher would have clotheslined him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t remember that one.

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King Hippo

Woody Hayes at least gets a punch in.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Joe Paterno wouldn’t have seen any of that

SonOfSpam

Nice catch, Hard Man.

/cums

rockingdog

agreed.
birds gotta estab the run.

rockingdog

First kick return for TD this season
cool!

King Hippo

Am I supposed to know who this “Fox News Bottle Blonde” shilling for Draft Kings is?

SonOfSpam

Hannity?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

chicken of the sea

Sharkbait

Muppets recreate Moby Dick

Game Time Decision

Bork bork bork

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ROBERT!

ArmedandHammered

With Gozo as Cptn. Ahab, I would watch that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wakka Wakka

f6abf8ea809a1bc9bc76a6d56cc313a8.jpg
The Maestro

Hell of a play

Mr. Ayo

It’s a trap Rat Birds!

You’re just giving Mahomesy another possession!

clint greasewood

No way this game lives up to the hype.

Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
WCS

Well, that was interesting.

King Hippo

Not Great, Butker!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Dawwwwww

Gratliff

Fun game

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Elite althleticism and intelligence, all over the place.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Fullback td

King Hippo

And that is why it works. One ALWAYS has a “spy” on Kelce. Not so the UConn fullback.

King Hippo

Holy Play Design, Batman!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Last edited 3 years ago by Spur
King Hippo

Remember Sammy Watkins.

clint greasewood

I’ve seen better tackling at Brad Parscale’s Florida residence.

WCS

Evidently, the Ice Nongendered-whatever-Hippo-calls-them have no interest in forcing a Game 7.

Mr. Ayo

Pavelski needs to remind them to attack again.

King Hippo

You can say Ice N-GCp for short. We noes u is #FullyWoke

Game Time Decision

N-GBp for those really wok3

Last edited 3 years ago by Game Time Decision
King Hippo

Oooh, me like

WCS

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JustStopDude

I love how the Ravens defense is more focused on terrible stripping attempts than making a tackle.

King Hippo

Even BLEERGH is excite for this’un