As I mentioned in last week’s Sexy Friday post, I am going to devote this post to comments and non-sexy pictures from you fine commentists. That way, those of you that say you cannot view this post from work will be able to do so.

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As I mentioned before, I have started work on developing a “Gently-Used Fleshlight Hall of Fame” and I’m researching all the winners of the previous competitions we’ve held here at DFO. I have, as would be expected, all of the winners of the AFL Tipping Contests and the AFLW Tipping Contests. I also have the winner of last season’s English Premier League Tipping Contest as well as the winner of last season’s NFL Tipping Contest (hosted by an Australian ESPN site).

I also have the winner of the DFO Survivor Pool (hosted by the USA ESPN site and run by our own Yeah Right) from the inaugural year of 2015. Things get a bit fuzzy after that. I also discovered that we did a NFL Spread Picks pool and a NFL Straight Up Picks pool in 2015 and I have the winners for those, but I don’t know/remember if we continued those contests in subsequent years.

If anyone has any recollections about the contests we’ve run and, more importantly, who the winners were, please write them in the comments! Thank you!

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The Week in DFO

Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

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I mean, you don’t have The fact that NFL Network’s hype for this game revolves mostly around QB facial hair tells you all you need to know about the quality of football to which we are going to be treated tonight.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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TRUE Hippo Story! In the Year of Our Lord 2019, I lost a fantasy matchup to a guy who started two dudes on bye.

I considered this my rock bottom, except that I kept getting worse at everything.

*except pill refilling

King Hippo

Sounds like code for: you had a fantasy about two bi dudes and you were getting rocked as a bottom?

SonOfSpam

Those dude’s shoulders? To die for!!!

scotchnaut

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And so, there was no joy in Jacksonville that night.

Wait, is there ever joy in Jacksonville?

Why, yes, of course. Whenever the meth boats dock at the harbor, and it’s free Buffalo Wings night at the Strip-O-Rama Funtime Arcade.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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So is that the Jaguars full home audience or are they socially distancing

Recovery Whiskey

No pool shots yet, so maybe distancing

Game Time Decision

That pool might have something worse that COVID in there

Sharkbait

“Might”

Its Jacksonville, of course there’s something worse in there

Game Time Decision

In high school, there were several girls that were excused from swimming in the school’s Olympic size pool during PE because their parents were afraid they would get pregnant from swimming in the same pool as teenage boys. This was in supposedly enlightened Southern California. To be fair, we boys jizzed in the pool at every opportunity.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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At my age, I just have to scroll through the Friday Night ladies. If I looked carefully at every pic posted, it would make me feel like a perv, looking at hot pics of girls young enough to be my granddaughters. Great-granddaughters, if I lived in Appalachia.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Don’t kid yourself. They’d be your daughters in Appalachia.

Horatio

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found a funny:

I know Mitt romney very well (he and 4 other executives used to pay 10,000 dollars to shoot arrows at me on Martha’s vineyard) and this is simply not like him

rockindog

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Back from coaching the U10 Bulldogs. Now I have more laundry to fold than Johnny Dangerously’s ma. Now to root home Hippo’s…..[squints at screen]…Brazilians, apparently.

Fronkenshteen

“Crumpled on the floor” is a type of folding.

herodotus450

Oh, is that how you keep your clothes? What a coincidence; that’s where I keep my dignity.

Horatio

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Best Coaching Kid’s Soccer Memory-

I finally had a half-decent team and we were cruising thru the season, killing everyone. (although no one was ‘keeping score’) Towards the end of the season we were down 1-0 really late in the game. We managed to score and I could see the kid referee looking at his watch, just waiting to call the game. We got the ball back almost immediately and it was obvious this was the last rush. A penalty was called on the other team about 15 feet right in front of the goal.

[my best player was an eleven year old girl who just ran past everyone and she called herself ‘Cheetah’. I showed her how to dig her toe under the ball so that when confronted with a defender in the open field she could hoof the ball over the defenders head and run right past them. She tried it a few times and then forgot about.]

As she was lining up for the kick, confronted by a 4 kid ‘wall’, I whispered in her ear, ‘hey remember that kick I showed you? You could put the ball right over those guys and the goalie’s head.’

She did it, scored the goal, we won the game on the last play and I was over the moon. All the parents were packing up their stuff and I was just, ‘I CAN’T BELIEVE IT WORKED! THAT WAS AMAZING!” I was rambling to my wife in the car on the way home, ‘do you not understand how good a game that was?’, and going over the events leading up to the W over and over again.*

*I just realized this might be the whitest, upper middle-class, suburban thing ever written

scotchnaut

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found a funny:

him: who the fuck do you think you are

Descartes:

rockindog

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Bill Cosby’s favorite soda? Doctored Pepper.

scotchnaut

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Say what you want about Flo, but she never got mad online at her fans’ constant remarks about her “milkers”

herodotus450

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“My favorite part of any game? The very start, when every single team is tied up.”

-Submissives

scotchnaut

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Miss St. player who causes a turnover gets “the dog collar” as a reward. Somewhere a former Va Tech QB gets an erection and he doesn’t know why.

herodotus450

“Miss State with a dog collar” just got converted to a Balls search.

Moose

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I call this game the Karma Sutra cuz the Chiefs are fucking the Ravens in every position

Gatoraids

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Mahomes with more poise in the pocket than Alanis morisette

Gatoraids

Ironic, dontcha think?

Horatio

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If I can’t hear the guys I know who are working at the arena boo Gary Bettman I will be terribly disappointed in them.

Beerguyrob

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Really, both teams in Edmonton are winners because they now get to leave Edmonton.

Beerguyrob

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Florida cops tackle better than the Jets

Senor Weaselo

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“This video will be removed because it doesn’t meet our search standards for “Black guys pulling a train in Wisconsin.”

-PornHub Admin

LemonJello

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This isn’t a debate. It’s a DDOS attack happening in front of a human moderator.

rockindog

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/starts reading post

Ooh, this is funny. Oh and a new dfo radio playlist!

/sees Madonna’s American Pie cover

KILL IT WITH FIRE

BFC

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The original version of American Pie sucks, but leave it to Madonna to turn it from suck to blow.

Unsurprised

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found a funny:

ATTENTION: If You Watched the Presidential Debate, You May Be Entitled to Financial Compensation

rockindog

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I went to high school with a guy who got one riding a horse. He tried to fight it, but the judge said neigh.

Gumbygirl

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Hammy

Recovery Whiskey

THANK YOU.

I kept thinking “Moons Over My Jammy” but I knew that wasn’t it.

SonOfSpam

I kept searching for “Moons over my Nanny” on Pornhub but that’s not it either.

Balls

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This game deserves to end in a tie.

A shitty demoralizing pointless abortion of a tie.

Balls

So this game deserves to end like Chrissy Teigen’s third child?

The Maestro

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Hogan: “That had to be OPI, c’mon man!”

Ref Shultz: “I See Nothing! Nothing!”

scotchnaut

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Timeless jokes:

-gently used fleshlight

-SPECIAL young man

Don T

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Here is what I love about this group. I can be a dickwad. I can be a 12 year old boy. You accept both. Oh I have stories for both. Just wait.

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Nobody likes a dirty Fokker.

Beerguyrob

Hey, we don’t kink shame here.

nomonkeyfun

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Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers

Doktor Zymm

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The Constitution clearly states that if everyone in the line of succession for the Presidency dies, then it goes to the current holder of the DFO banner quote.

Gumbygirl, prepare yourself.

monty this seems strange to me

I am ready! Let’s form a cabinet, just in case. BK for Sec of Defense, cuz he has the tanks! I don’t care if he isn’t American, Trump isn’t human and he got elected. Canadians are eligible too! Let me know what job you want, I will make it happen. That is my solemn pledge to you. First order of bizness, legal and cheap weed everywhere. Mandatory in red states, those fuckers need to Chill Out.

Gumbygirl

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Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. Have a good week, everyone!