Your “It’s the NFC East’s Time to Shine!” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Well, this is a bummer isn’t it? It’s another one of those ‘point and laugh’ games unless you’re a backer of one of these squadoos. Then it’s a matter of “Oof! Please don’t make this more embarrassing than it has to be”. The possibility exists but it’s unlikely we’ll get “Derrick Henry forces Josh Norman to hand in his man card” levels of mortification.

TO THE GAME!

Cowboys/Eagles:

-There’s a DiNucci kid on the block (Berman’s nascent bloated corpse smiles) by the name of Ben getting his very first start in the big leagues. Who is he? What are his strengths? Well, he went to James Madison and led them to the championship game. He had a 71% completion rate and ran a total of 122 times. He’s got a decent arm but you’ll not likely see much of it tonight.

-OC Moore will likely dial up plenty of short passes in the form of screens, flare outs and quick slants so that Little Ben won’t have many tete a tetes with the likes of Brandon Graham or Fletcher Cox.

-In turn Eagles DC Schwartz will disguise the hell out of his coverages in order to confuse the youngster, moving his safeties and lb’s all over the place.

-Don’t count on the Dallas D to force turnovers tonight-they’ve got all of two(!) so far this year. That decision to let Byron Jones leave and play rook cb Trevon Diggs has been a frickin’ disaster. Rookie cb’s tend to struggle and it’s no different with Diggs-he’s given up 437 yards so far this year which is 2nd most in the league. Guess who’s going to get picked on again tonight?

-Philly will be without Ertz, DeSean and Sanders but it may not even matter.

Enjoys the dregs of the NFL, folks!

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Sharkbait

This game needs a mercy killing.

Horatio Cornblower

Mike McCarthy is so happy with DiNucci, because he absolutely cannot throw a football and Mike therefore can justify doing nothing by running it up the gut.

Sharkbait

That was working until they got cute, again. Awful playcalling

Horatio Cornblower

Agreed. Complete garbage

Gratliff

Just the worst football

Gratliff

Cox wasn’t gonna look like a dope again

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo

That’s a tall kitty.

Recovery Whiskey

Bathroom selfies are not best selfies

Doktor Zymm

Why yes, I did cut down on my healthy outdoor activity time so I could drink 2 bottles of wine and 4ish shots of gin, plus eat a lot of cheese, pastry, and popcorn, and watch this shitty game. What was that you were saying about my life choices?

Sharkbait

Sounds like you made the correct ones.

Mr. Ayo

Living the best life obviously.

hippofant

I gotta say, I don’t really even blame Wentz for these interceptions. He’s under so much pressure, he’s having to throw these balls up well before the route develops, so his balls are hanging in the air forever, and then his receivers are SUCKING ASS at running under them. Like Christ, it looks like they’re taking themselves out of position repeatedly.

Gratliff

That last one wasn’t nearly as egregious as that Hightower one where he actually slowed up so he could watch it go over his head

hippofant

Yeah that one looked like he just completely misjudged the pass, but even on this one you can see the receiver snaking his head back and forth trying to find the ball. Slows him up whereas Diggs knows exactly where the ball’s coming down, so he beelines to it and beats the receiver there.

Last edited 4 years ago by hippofant
Sharkbait

ARMPUNT!

Gratliff

If I was Wentz, I’d not throw a pick there

Horatio Cornblower

Nice punt by Wentz there.

Mr. Ayo

The hunter’s sleeve is defective. Or the hunter’s fanny pack. Or both.

Gratliff

shit shit fuck shit

Gratliff

DPI offense!

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I know the defense is bad, but I wouldn’t say that either of these offenses can manage double penetration

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Tony Dungy said Tua played with poise, does that mean he counts polynesians as white?

Gratliff

This seems relevant
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-partner=”tweetdeck”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>The White House on lockdown: A federal law enforcement source tells NBC that beginning tomorrow, crews will build a “non-scalable” fence to secure the WH complex, Ellipse and Lafayette Square.<br><br>250 National Guardsmen have been put on standby, reporting to Metro Police officials.</p>&mdash; Geoff Bennett (@GeoffRBennett) <a href=”https://twitter.com/GeoffRBennett/status/1323092344053354498?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>November 2, 2020</a></blockquote>

Sharkbait

Oh thats comforting

yeah right

He finally built the wall!

He better build his crooked ass a defense team because that motherfucker is going to jail.
Enjoy Rikers you racist inbred ignorant bastard!

Brocky

trade deadline is Tuesday cowboys, just saying
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, honestly, he’s a better option than at least 5 other current starters

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Text banking is more fun when it yields responses like this

things i trust more than trump.jpg
Brocky

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Doktor Zymm

Lookit her standing up in heels!

Brocky

proud of her!

Gratliff

the fuck did I just watch

Horatio Cornblower

DiNucci’s ability to overthrow a receiver covered by 4 DBs is really something.

hippofant

Why are the announcers continuing reminding us how bad this game is?

“This defense is really bad! Look at how many points they allow every game!”
“But somehow they’re not this week. HM I WONDER WHY.”

Gratliff

This isn’t the worst half of football I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely the stupidest

Brocky

al: the cowboys are gonna get it

collinsworth: yeah they are

Brocky

I dont think you have to worry about denucci confidence

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A man who throws like that has to be a Trump voter

Sharkbait

What the actual fuck was that 4th down play call?

Brocky

matt nagy thought it was great!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

^
This

Horatio Cornblower

DiNucci is going to use this game to score free drinks and pick up girls in shitty bars, and it’s not going to work for either.

Doktor Zymm

“DiNucci? Does your dad own that deli that gave me food poisoning? FUCK YOU!!”

Brocky

he should just claim his lineage to the legendary wrestler:
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Gratliff

Is this preseason? Is this an offseason scrimmage? Am I watching a charity event?

Game Time Decision

Pro bowl walk through

Gratliff

One of these teams is gonna end up winning a wild card game and piss everybody off

litre_cola

I hope it is against the Packers.

Doktor Zymm

5+1 woo!

Gratliff

Is it just me or does Dinucci have a lot of quit in him on those roll outs?

Horatio Cornblower

it is not just you.

Gratliff

Jalen Hurts should play the first 3 quarters of every game

Doktor Zymm

WHICH BODY PARTS ARE BODY PARTS!?

Gratliff

This is somehow more stupid than the giants game

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Beautiful pass by Wentz to the Cowboys DB

Horatio Cornblower

If the knee is on the line it’s out-of-bounds. If the shin is down, it’s an INT.

Schroedinger’s Interception.

Gratliff

jfc

Horatio Cornblower

That is a garbage call.

Doktor Zymm

Aren’t Duo Blocks those big legos?

Horatio Cornblower

This is literally the dumbest thing I have ever seen, and I’m including Trump Truck Rallies.

Doktor Zymm

Both men and women wrap themselves around Cox

Gratliff

I don’t know what either team is doing

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s OK, neither do they.

Sharkbait

THE PHILLY SPECIAL WAS AN ILLEGAL FORMATION!

Sorry. I blacked out there for a second.

Brocky

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Petronel

Elvira’s daughter should probably lay off the PCP for a bit.

Last edited 4 years ago by Petronel
Sharkbait

Elvira’s daughter? I thought that was Kimberly Guilfoyle’s Halloween costume

Horatio Cornblower

I thought it was Guilfoyle’s bathrobe.

Brocky

years ago I had no idea why those high school musical movies were so popular.

it has become more apparent over the years

Doktor Zymm

What a thicc little RB

Gratliff

Nothing as funny as a receiver slowing up while tracking a ball and it soaring over his head

Gratliff

Why would you ever call a pass against Dallas?

Gratliff

If the Eagles anticipated how bad these passes would be, every one of them would be picked.

Sharkbait

That’s the thing. How can you adjust when you don’t know just how shitty these passes are going to be?

Horatio Cornblower

This Quarterback By Committee shit has already gotten old.

Horatio Cornblower

/watches next pass

No, no, keep DiNucci as far away from throwing passes as possible.

Mr. Ayo

Would this game be any better with Wentz as full time QB?

I think not.

Brocky

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Sharkbait

That is…a lot of anime on that wall

Brocky

a girl who is into anime girls?

…… no I am not looking up her home address, what would make you think that?

litre_cola

Hello!

Doktor Zymm

Jinckies!

Sharkbait

Come on Yahoo. Mark that shit a lost fumble.

There we go.

Last edited 4 years ago by Sharkbait