It’s funny that Halloween was last Saturday, because one of my old story topics is making a return appearance to an NFL roster.
That’s right, 41 year-old Josh McCown is getting the phone call he wasn’t waiting for to return to the league. The Texans have apparently signed him to be DeShaun Watson’s backup. He was staying at home but on the Eagles practice squad as an emergency “in-case” option, and earning $12,000 per week for the privilege. But the fact that Houston is apparently two hours drive from his home means he’ll get to earn a nine-week percentage of the league-minimum $1.045 million, while watching the carnage Bill O’Brien left behind plays its way out.
Besides the Eagles, he has also played for the Jets, Browns, Buccaneers, Bears, 49ers, Panthers, Dolphins, Raiders, Lions and Cardinals. The Texans are his 12th NFL team, and he has only played for two above-.500 teams in his entire career.
Colin Kaepernick, meanwhile sits at home wondering why the phone doesn’t ring, but smiling at pictures of Donald Trump breaking down at press conferences.
NFL Broadcast maps: (courtesy 506sports.com)
CBS EARLY
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu
█ Baltimore @ Indianapolis – Ian Eagle, Charles Davis
█ Detroit @ Minnesota – Kevin Harlan, Trent Green
█ Denver @ Atlanta – Greg Gumbel, Rich Gannon
█ Houston @ Jacksonville – Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta
——————————————-
CBS LATE
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu
█ Pittsburgh @ Dallas – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
In-game action:
- Does Hippo have odds on a drunken Jerry bursting into the box begging Romo to return?
- Over/under on crowd shots of “Tony Come Back” signs? – 4.5
█ Miami @ Arizona – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton
——————————————-
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu
Tonight’s sports:
- NCAA:
- Texas A&M at South Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Baylor at Iowa State – 7:00PM | FS1
- UCLA vs Colorado – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- Clemson at Notre Dame – 7:30PM | NBC
- Stanford at Oregon – 7:30PM | ABC
- Tennessee vs. Arkansas – SECNetwork / TSN4
- Washington State at Oregon State – 10:30PM | FS1
- Washington at California – 10:30PM | ESPN
- Fisticuffs:
- PBC Fight Night:
- Luis Ortiz vs. Alexander Flores – 8:00 PM | FOX
- UFC Fight Night:
- Santos vs. Teixeira: From Las Vegas
- Prelims – 8:00 PM | ESPN+ / TSN
- Main card – 10:00 PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- Santos vs. Teixeira: From Las Vegas
- PBC Fight Night:
Oh, and just like four years ago, Dave Chapelle is hosting SNL. This time, the Foo Fighters are the musical guest.
It’s looking like a solid Saturday night. Don’t get into too much bourble.
Gentlemen, i had a celebratory cigar tonight along with a lot of drinks. It’s a good day.
I had champagne and red wine and steak last night (my own personal decision desk called the election for Biden yesterday).
But not above having a few follow-up drinks tonight. Tomorrow, definitely a cigar while I do some reading in the sun.
I got drunk last night. Taking it easy tonight, because I am old.
One White Russian here.
But that’s cuz I took a nap earlier today.
My celebration is waking up tomorrow and not checking on anything Trump related until after I’ve worked out showered and got my day going. I am taking back my energy I’ve wasted on that drain.
4th pill? 4th PILL!!!
Nicole is not gonna go for that, man.
NicoLLe. And I am good at masking. Stayed married the first time for 12+ years, eh?
Nicole Brown Simpson?
Nicolle Wallace, Hippo’s crush(ed pills). Lookit them shoulders!
oh GOD. I had never seen her bare shoulders before. I’mma just…stare at that pic for awhile.
Someone get the Bounty that got thrown over the White House fence!
oh, INDEED.
I’m not sure this will help you, but going through her pictures to find a bare shoulder one that would show up, I was struck by how much she looks like my brother’s gf.
They could absolutely be sisters.
I might have to kill your brother now?
Good luck. I’ve seen him snap an antenna off a car and go after someone.
yeah, I recall you making a “Bull Shannon” reference before. Haven’t really worked through any logistics on this pill-addled “plan”
My bro got my a bottle of Don last year. Think we’ll pop it when the monster is good and dead— Gotta cross the goal line.
I drank a bunch of coffee so I could drink a bunch of freezer vodka this evening.
Sooooo…..do right wingers start kneeling for the anthem to protest an illegitimate president?
Won a cool 4.5 ameros on that Soucek goal today.
[shoots cuffs]
oh shit, must have been sweating blood on that Lookman penno
I feel more patriotic now than at any point in the last four years.
I’m not being sarcastic
It’s weird to feel as such after many years of ,”fuck this place, I’ll gladly be in the outside with this fucking place”
Of note- I still may just check out
Canada is still beautiful and only getting warmer.
I’m stuck here for work (til Biden communists us anyways).
Got my eye on some soon-to-be-oceanfront-property in Saskatchewan.
zeke’s backup, (blip mallard?) should run into a brick wall tomorrow, yes?
Oh, I expect it to be really ugly.
DAK’s death was the start of my FF streak. I’m currently sitting in second with an auto drafted team that I didn’t touch for the first two weeks.
Call me Pete Carroll
ppl* forget that Chip Kelly is the coach of UCLA
*ppl includes me apparently.
based on the game it seems fair to assume that Chip forgot as well.
OANN and Newsmax are in complete denial and damage control. It’s hysterical.
I didn’t even know what OANN was until recently and I’m frankly terrified how many people consider FOX News to be liberal media now
it was on in the background of the freaking Chinese carryout I no longer patron
If by “denial” you mean “auditioning to be the host of the Donald Trump Show,” sure…
That Irish fan’s tube top was really wanting to fall off…
Ah man, I missed it.
An Eagles fan will soon have the nuclear codes
The Linc will be the second target after Carson Wentz’s house.
First target: Jerry World
Hey Dunstan – how’s your Footy Manager career coming along?
Lousy. Went through four teams in three seasons.
I get that I don’t understand a lot of strategy, so I shouldn’t be GREAT at it, but it just seems so like I’m cruising along ok, doing more or less what I was expected to achieve, and then my team hits the skids for no apparent reason, and all the team meetings and changes of tactics or whatever won’t fix it.
My last team put together a nine-game winless streak, and the board was clearly about to fire me. I finally said, “fuck it, these guys quit on me, I’ll quit on them” and resigned.
I just got hired by another club, but I haven’t played in a few days now. I’ve lost a lot of enthusiasm for the game.
This sounds like my high school dating strategy.
that happened to me first time. I eventually just re-started “career mode” from scratch, did much better the 2nd go
Yeah, I considered that, too, and might.
Also, one thing I’ll do with this go-round is take a hard inventory of my new roster, and really try to construct a formation and strategy around my top players’ specific preferred roles and best attributes. Which will require a bit of research — I have no idea how to build around, say, a great passing defensive midfielder versus a fast striker or a tenacious center-back.
I have two good formations. 4-2-4 (more attacking), and 4-1-4-1 (more defensive). Means you don’t need/use a #10 (attacking midfield centre), makes roster building easier for me.
How many different formations do you use, and when do you change them? Is it matchup-dependent? Do you switch formations midgame, or just the “approach” (positive/cautious/etc.)?
Whenever my team gets on a losing streak, the media starts haranguing me about how I’m stubbornly sticking with my formation. But that’s what my team is trained on!
I went looking for a good strategy guide, but all the posts I see are very team-specific, like “choose Barcelona, and then target these five guys on transfer, etc.”
When at Everton, mostly matchup dependent. Went 4-1-4-1 against bigger sides, especially on the road.
I tweak “mentality” – from “defensive” to “balanced” to “positive” way more than the formation itself. That seems to mess with players’ consistency less. And I will tweak that in-match, too (if I go down a goal, I may go into “attacking” – especially last 20-30 minutes).
I’m not biased in any way but I think Etienne should be ejected (and possibly banned from football for life) for that attempted hurdle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw89o0afb2A
Play Freebird
If Biden came out and just said “I’m not Donald Trump, and now let’s cut this feed so people can get back to their football games while I go get a goddamn drink” he would have guaranteed that his cyrogenically preserved head would be reelected in a landslide in 2024.
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
Not sure about this medley — could they just not decide which song they wanted to come off to, and said “fuck it, let’s play them all?”
I’ll take Hall and Oates anytime, anywhere.
Me too! I understand we can’t expect a chorus of “Fuck Donald Trump.”
holy shit immediate family members expressing affection to the president?
what is this sorcery?
“It’s not in my contract.” — Melania
holy shit this speech guys!
B-b-b-but Mr. Potter, what do you mean the bank is out of field goals!?
/would be funnier if Clemson kicker named Potter had missed the FG instead
Was it SNL that did the skit where George comes in and beats Potter to death?
Someone did, I can’t remember who.
Fixing Climate Change Sponsored by Jeep
Jesus Christ. This place is more insufferable than a QAnon board.
You know, the Door can Fly Closed, too. Don’t let it hit your ass.
It’s not even a mandatory London morning game watch (smh)
Seriously, man, why do you come here?
I assume it’s to make sure the rest of us are made aware that a morally superior specimen walks among us. I mean, while we’re all hanging out on a dick joke blog, he’s hanging out on a dick joke blog but angsting about the poor and downtrodden while he does it.
I would suggest that the point has been made, and can be moved off of.
I legit didn’t know you felt so strongly politically till this last week
I get it, man. Gonna be a lot of people acting like the game’s been won the next couple days, and probably gonna be a lot of rake-stepping once he goes into power. Probably gonna be a lot of corporate shitheels in positions they shouldn’t be trusted with and an attempt to return to a time that was still pretty bad for a lot of people, but this was objectively the best outcome after the primaries ended, and the same people who were in the most danger from a second Trump term are celebrating because they’ve dodged at least that bullet. I have no intention of not talking shit on Biden every time he fucks up. Hell, I don’t see anything wrong with pointing out the dumb shit right this second, but what’s the value of getting upset at people just because they’re celebrating?
I feel like it’s the initial celebration after hitting the buzzer beater right now. Then we settle down and come together to boo Larry Scott at the trophy ceremony.
I mean, Christ Jesus, give me until the man is inaugurated to start motherfucking him for not getting things done.
So you’re gonna spend more time on QAnon boards from here on out?
pop has been working evening shifts, i recorded that crazy ass trump speech from Thursday, he’s just now seeing it
Pretty ironic (maybe?) that I’ve seen more kickoff returns out of this Greg Schiano-led Rutgers team that all previous games this season combined.
Vice president elect is talking….
biden supporter holds up a dog
My dad: oh look a dog!
If Joe puts on his aviators, I’ll chug the entire bottle of gin I just bought.
I would also accept if he said, “I’m feeling very sleepy.”
/Donates $10 billion to Biden “on ONE condition…”
They should have played “Bitchin’ Camaro” when Diamond Joe walked out.
Nice to see American flags waved for…well, non-racist reasons
https://youtu.be/Yy7uWcpWVUw
yeah, Madam Vice President.
my NBC feed cut back to da football game
ok
Mine is still on Biden
kamala with the intro
She’s really improved her public speaking.
It’s ok, Senator Harris. The vote is over, you can tell folks to shut the fuck up.
Kamala Harris is about to jizz on stage.
I liked ‘organism’ better.
Biden is interrupting my football!!! Donnie Trump would never do that!!! Bring that orange piece of shit back!!!
Holy cats, Balls. You need to get UCLA’s shit together.
Chip Kelly is the football equivalent of the musical group Ace of Base.
but fatter (obvs)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh-07BzfgYY
He’s a neo-Nazi?
Wouldn’t surprise me…
Trying to decide between getting “fall down” drunk tonight or “throw up all over myself” drunk tonight.
My torn rotator cuff and scarred eyebrow advises you for the latter.
as long as one is a side sleeper
It can be two things!
I’m trying to decide whether or not to throw a marshmallow into this hot cocoa I’m whipping up.
I am a man of contrasts.
wait a minute – NICOLLE WALLACE IS NO LONGER WEARING A RING, DOES HIPPO HAVE A CHANCE????
She got divorced last year. You’re way behind.
Can you give me character reference???
I’m on it. (Not her. Anymore)
“Let me put it this way, Ms. Wallace, he’s probably gonna leave you alone when sports are on and you are never, ever, going to run out of pills.”
Sure we’re only 3 minutes in, but ND is handling Clemson better than OSU is Rutgers .
Bulldogs were up 13-0 just today, ppl forget that.
He’s obviously squeezing her ass:
When you’re President-Elect, they let you do it.
18 minutes till Biden’s first Presidential Address…17 minutes.
It’s ten weeks until Biden’s first Presidential address.
Your ass. The leader of the free world is about to speak.
Uh oh Daddy 1 and Daddy 2 are arguing again.
Am I doing it right?
Fuck. Chasing Moose away from here.
Bring back Moose!
OOK!
He is/was our Terry Gilliam. And I ain’t hardly fucking around.
Moose left off his own volition. Don’t blame Brick.
He got warned to not call people cunts and decided to take his gif ball and go home. That’s his choice.
Sorry. I understand. I just don’t like bullies, and react when I perceive one.
I understand. Beastmode may be gone too and that’s on me because I warned him about attacking someone.
We don’t have many rules but direct attacks are one of them. If people don’t like it when we warn them not to do it, what can you do?
RIP HRTN.
But yeah, he was out of line on that one.
You reap what you sow.
I understand, and am simmering down. I just miss the guy. Hope he’s well. Thanks man.
I miss Moose. He went back to KSK and was like a tenured member here. I only asked that he not dump a thousand gifs into each post. I’ll be the first to ask him back.
All due respect, Brick, but that’s not what you did. You whined about the gifs in the comments and in the back space and you wouldn’t let go of it. You goaded him into a reaction that got him talked to, and you’ve probably driven him off. I wish Moose hadn’t referred to your behavior the way he did, because that did cross the line, but don’t pretend for a second that you didn’t initiate what happened, and that you didn’t let go of it until it went far past where it should have. Own it.
With all due respect, I didn’t whine or goad or corner anyone.
At one point 80% of the posts here on this site were just non-sensical Moose gifs. He was just dumping gifs. I love Moose and his posts and would love to see them again. He is the only DFOer who I haven’t met or talked to on the phone who I still wish I could meet.
Brian Kelly and Tony Dungy have a lot in common, in that they’ve both left a kid hanging with regrettable results.
I wish they could be imprisoned for negligent homicide.
— A. Reid
— E. Clapton
At least it wasn’t my cocaine.
— E. Clapton
Big fan of Jon Hamm, despite his extremely questionable taste in baseball teams.
/Ducks empty pill bottle thrown by Hippo
He was on a rerun of NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me’, (sniffs own farts), and he was just absolutely hysterical.
It’s ok. Don Draper and I noe u r just jelly.
The one and only Daniel Van Kirk!?
If nothing else they should be enshrined in a Structure of Fame of some type for bringing James Adomian to my attention.
SNL has potential to be great tonight. Feeling positive enough to really think that.
If nothing else, no need to change channels during the music.
In a shocking twist, they get Donald Trump to host! He pulls off his mask in the opening monolouge to reveal… the corpse of Andy Kaufman!?
found a cool:
JFC
47. (gawd willing)
Not impossible. But judging from the last four years, 2024 is a LOOOOONG way away.
Ya think Joe tries for a second term? He’ll be awfully old.
When will I learn that when the local Mexican joint puts “Hey stupid, this menu item is spicy” next to an item they are not kidding.
Not tonight, apparently, not tonight.
Or, perhaps, tomorrow morning…
God willing I’ll be able to run out and get the Sunday NY Times before things go to hell.
HORATIO GONNA BE BLOWIN FIRE AND NOT FROM HIS MOUTH
I’m so damn proud of Georgia that I want to give them a biggol hug. If the results there hold I will proudly visit that state and maybe even see the new Braves stadium.
I’m also happy that I can go back to PNC Park in Pittsburgh. That’s a proper beauty of a stadium.
Also major respect to Arizona and Nevada. You’re still on my “Good” list.
/Connecticut waits patiently for the ‘atta boy’ that never comes.
//just like Don Jr.
The whole Northeast should bask in glory.
Not kidding when I said earlier that I will not visit and certainly will not retire in any of the states that voted red in this election.
And I was already doing serious investigation into moving to Iowa City for retirement. Not anymore.
From Pedro to Iowa City? CULTCHA SHAWK!
I lived in Davenport for a few years and Iowa City is pretty liberal. Plus they’re home to the writer’s workshop that both Vonnegut and John Irving attended.
Could never live in a city named for a sofa.
The only birth-control the GOP will accept is named for a sofa.
I’m speaking, of course, of the “pull out”
I worry about you suddenly being landlocked.
Behold, the ultimate ratioApparently, I can’t read, so here’s this instead36 24 38?
5′ 3″
Perfect
Philly still sucks shit throw a straw (because its jaw was broken by batteries thrown at it from locals)
I REITERATE: IT’S MANDATORY DFO POLICY TO WATCH THE COUGARS TRY TO LICK THE BEAVERS.
Adjust your viewing schedules accordingly.
That’s a whole section on my preferred streaming site, especially when those are college-aged Beavers.
Especially when one of them has to talk the other one into it, but not really.
Yesterday, a helicopter carrying a donated heart for an organ transplant, crashed on the roof of a USC/Keck hospital near downtown L.A. The pilot and two passengers received minor injuries, got themselves out of the wreckage, and the helicopter stayed on the roof and did not catch fire.
Despite crashing on a hospital and receiving minor injuries, the pilot was taken to a different hospital.
The heart was apparently uninjured.
Probably a UCLA pilot.
Speaking of, who’s watching the Bruins get beat by Colorado?!?
The two passengers were treated at the crash hospital, yet the pilot was taken elsewhere.
Must have been his insurance.
I have George Michael levels of faith that UCLA will win this game and rather easily.
You know what that means: Bet the house on the Buffs.
Being out of network suuuuuuucks
Pilot was overheard shouting “KOBE!” right before landing.
I wish I could plus 1 this multiple times.
I gotcha for one, anyway
Three points from downtown. … Also a phrase Shaq never heard.
HA
If we were doing in vitro fertilization I would want this comment to be the sperm donor.
American healthcare, folks.