I’m talking about filling your plate a second or third time of course. How the hell are you going to doze off in front of the TV otherwise? Sheesh!
TO THE GAME!
Team/Cowboys:
-Bearing in mind the division these guys play in you can say that both are riding high on one game winning streaks.
-Each team in the NFC East has won three games and it’s the sort of logjam that your uncle creates in yer terlet just before he leaves your house at the end of the night, telling no one. The Eagles precocious tie gives then a lofty .350 winning percentage and the division lead.
-Battle of the Backups! Both Dalton and Smith have been underwhelming although the former had his way last week with a Vikes D that has given up the ghost. Things shouldn’t be as easy this time around as Team’s D exerts all kinds of pressure up front and has an underrated secondary.
-“Scary Terry” is listed as questionable but his ability is not. He’s playing on an anemic O featuring a third-string qb and somehow he’s 4th in the league in receiving. It does sorta help that he has no help in the passing game but still…
-Zeke had his very first 100 yard game last week. It probably had something to do with benching Terrance Steele and shuffling what’s left of the talent on the line (Zach Martin and Connor McGovern) over to the right side. When the Cowboys ran to that side they did so at 7.2 yards a pop.
Continue doing that thing you were doing. It felt very nice!
Fumble…due to the sleeve
His beard knocked it loose
Zeke fumble [X]
Kristina Pink looks great, I love that gold color on her.
Sharkbait, if you hadn’t noticed, I’m projected-in the Freezer Vodka league-to demolish your soul and salt the linoleum floor of your basement (so that fungus can never, ever grow there again) by 4.67 points.
At least I have more wins than anyone in the NFC East
And infinitely more than the Jest
“Infinitely Jest is a story about addiction, about watching the same team lose over and over again. But for some reason you can’t take your eyes off the screen.”
-David Foster Wallace, describing his first draft
Hey, which one of you did I tell to start Cee Dee Lamb today? Because I’m sorry about that, but if it helps he’s starting for me as well.
I did not heed your advice.
Smart man
I wish I did not start him
Fun fact: Kane Brown plays the same kind of music as Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings. It’s all the same quit asking questions
Who wants a brown Kandy Kane?
Bring on a bagpipe solo! Cover all the genres.
There best be a fife accompaniment
That only happens in a Big Country.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnG1oUkWBa8
Country? R&B?
What the cinnamon toast fuck is on my TV right now?
Came here to post similar comment.
I think it’s the dude version of that annoying chick?
I flipped to the local news the second that song started. Jesus that sounded terrible.
With most people not spending today with family, how are we supposed to get our hot political takes out?
I’ve gotten real good and making gravy so now it doesn’t really matter if I can cook anything else good
Gravy is always the right answer.
That FG is gonna make a tie a lot harder.
Dallas gets a TD+XP to bring it to 20.
Nothing happens.
WFT kicks a FG as time expires sending this to OT.
They’re gonna need to get 2 new defenses on the field for that to happen.
“Hey, let’s try the same play that got stuffed 2 plays ago!”
/play gets stuffed again
“Wow, who could have seen that coming?”
Who is the worst:
Lovie Smith
Mike McCarthy
Hue Jackson
Jeff Fisher
Jackson is the easy choice. Fisher is just mediocre but I don’t think ever had much to work with. Lovie Smith and McCarthy would be in a battle for second worst, and I’d give it to McCarthy because he had Aaron Rodgers and Lovie didn’t.
Rich Kotite
Hue is at least a nice city in Vietnam
Pho sure.
“Was it a draw play on 3rd down with 7 yards to go? That’s my jam!”
-Several Giants OC’s
I swear there must be a coach making the rounds of NFL receivers teaching them how to seek contact with the db’s then fall down.
Everyones doing it now. Maybe they hired in a Man U coach to give a TED Talk.
“OK, listen up guys, we call this play ‘The Italian Job'”
Ronald Darby played for the Iggles the last few seasons. This is normal.
McCarthy is icing his own team.
Great.
“Correction-he’s ‘ice creaming’ his own team.”
-Hippo
A got damn QB sneak.
Look at you, outcoaching Mike McCarthy
/gestures widely at everyone
-Owner of Publix, describing Jameis Winston after he left without paying for the crab legs
“All you can eat crab legs?”’ – A Reid, Kansas City
THROW FOR IT!!
Man, this all-white officiating crew sucks.
Chase Young is also the title of Mark Sanchez’s Autobiography. Foreward written by Mark Chmura.
Banner
/ if it were possible
“Great read”
-J. Sandusky, Highlands State Correctional
A real shame not featuring Zeke, he could be home eating lead paint chips with his family smh
MOAR Zeke and Lamb
Damn, knew I should have started Logan Thomas
Former QB for the Virginia Tech Hokies.
I like how the only way one of these teams doesn’t rocket into the lead in the NFC East is if they tie.
Please, please, please let them tie.
GO OBFUSCATION AND CONFUSION GO!
A tie seems very much in play here, and I would enjoy it very much.
I am all about the chaos division
I like going for it on 4th and 1, absolutely hate passing for it on 4th and inches.
Love that they then get a 15 yard penalty against
It’s very considerate of them to do Classic Dallas Derp for all of us on Thanksgiving
Yeah, that would have likely neatly offset the PI that wasn’t called on Washington. Just brain dead from start to finish.
QB sneak is the only call on 4th and inches. If thats not possible you don’t have a football team. //old school
Or give it to Zeke and have him hurdle the line.
More fun if they give it to Zeke to try and hurdle the line and he fumbles instead
He stopped doing that as soon as he stopped wearing those stupid long sleeves. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
With all the “feed me” he’s been doing, do you think he could even get off the ground?
I mean, unless you are going for a TD strike, the risk/reward is fuckety.
Sean Lee is
1) still playing football
A) this late in the season
I) still walking
Wow
Someone told him about your comment and now he has an ear infection.
It’s 64 degrees outside and I’m two 8%+ abv beers. I’m gonna enjoy my walk, then come back to shower, baste my bird, resume drinking, and possibly finishing cooking the turkey.
Gonna give the ol’ bird a basting, eh guvnah?
Read that as fisting the turkey.
I may have issues
7/8 for 36 yards is the most Alex Smithian thing ever. Or business as usual.
His passing line is super equivalent to Purple Balls Jesus’ rushing today.
He is no mere Captain; he’s more like Admiral Checkdown.
Gotta digest a bit and drink some more before pie time. I got some Earl Grey ice cream to put on said pie.
I love tea. I love ice cream. I have never loved tea in my ice cream.
I’m quite partial to green tea ice cream – never tried any other kind of tea ice cream, though.
It’s quite good! Tastes a lot like Earl Grey tea with lots of cream
Just had some pie with Turkey Hill vanilla and some whipped cream.
I could die happy right now.
It will surprise none of you that I like pie as pie and ONLY pie. No iced cream, no toppings of any varietal.
Raw Dog. Respekt.
What about some crushed pills sprinkled over the top?
Pollard > Zeke Elliot
I don’t think he is, but he’s good, and I do think Dallas is looking hard at him to see if they can dump Zeke next year for some cap room.
Do you actually think JJ would do that? He’s a sucker for [does jazz hands] “STAR POWER!”
I do. Your point about JJ’s attraction to star power is well taken, but Zeke’s production is not what it was and he costs a fortune. They can get close to the same for much less, then blow the savings on some mediucre big name that JJ gets fascinated by.
I snorted because that is exactly what is going to happen. He must have his shiny toys as well.
Just had some excitement here as my wife returned from a post-dinner metal detecting expedition with a 1750 Mexican Real coin.
Worth $1,495 in mint condition. Not sure what they’re worth if they look like they’d spent the last 220 years underground, which is what this one looks like, but it’s still cool as hell.
Look for the cache. If there’s one there could be a lot more. Cool stuff!
I’m a little surprised she’s not out there in the dark with an excavator, but I suppose the homeowner would be pretty pissed when they got home.
Is your wife a detectorist?
Y, and I cannot emphasize this enough, ES.
I’ve never been more attracted to your wife than right now
I’m not normally attracted to those XXY types myself. Those large hands just freak me out.
I told her you said this and her immediate question was not ‘Why are you telling those invisible freaks you hang out with about me”, but rather if you detected, what kind of metal detector you had, and if you were in various groups she belongs to. My answers were
a. It sounds that way
6 How should I know
^ He lives in CA, so probably not
There’s an obvious solution to the Ravens conundrum. Say it with me, TUESDAY NIGHT NFL FOOTBALL!
It would require next Thursday night to get bumped to weekend, but a small price to pay. THIS MUST DO!
LOL
it fucks me up that when i first heard of michelin star restaurants i was like “the tire company??” and then i was like no that’s dumb it has to be a different michelin and then it’s just the fucking tire company recommending places to eat
Because road trips
/I’m sure all of you have a turkey brine story, here’s mine
Maybe a dozen or so years ago my SIL was hosting Xmas and was worried about serving ‘yet another dry bird’. I told her about wet brining, walked her all the way thru it, made her a spice mix to rub the on the outside of the turkey, advised her to rub a herbed butter on the breast underneath the skin, etc.
Well the bird got rave reviews that night from everyone and she was asked, “what’s the secret?”. She went into detail about everything she did. My wife, her sister, was absolutely livid on the drive back home because I wasn’t given any credit. I figured ‘whatever’ but the SIL needing to be the star of the show became an ongoing thing.
/fin
This reminds me of the story about map makers, or atlas publishers I guess, who put litlte mistakes and fake streets in their maps. So if anyone steals them, they can point to the purposeful incorrect parts as proof.
So in conclusion, you should have told her to put poison in the turkey, then withheld the antidote until proper credit was doled out.
THIS GUY HERODOTUS450 I CALL HIM MAGELLAN, BECAUSE WITH THINKING LIKE THAT HE IS GOING PLACES AND IT IS NOT GOING TO END WELL!!!
It has always pissed me off that Magellan is in the history books as the first guy to circumnagivate the globe, because he didn’t circumnavigate shit. He died!
First time I did the brine thing ,I used the Alton Brown one and the brine has some extra stuff in it so my family thought it stunk. TBH It kinda does. On the day (Xmas) we put the 25 lb bird in at like 9 for a 4 pm dinner hoping it would be done in time. Well it was done by like 1pm so we took it out and let it sit until dinner. Mrs GTD was so sure that we’d ruined it, but served it anyway as there wasn’t anything else to do/serve.
We got rave reviews on it. Everyone loved it. Even my wife’s super picky and opinionated grandmother said it was the best turkey she’d ever had. After that I wasn’t allowed NOT to do that brine.
Cool story, hansel.
Thanks, olaf.
Hell yea love de trickery
McLaurin with a ROCKING catch
bow wow!
Is that a haiku?
I’m not sure exactly what type of dog he is?!
He’s a Rockingdog, duh!
Starting to set in that there is no game tonight. Wife and Deci are out, and no footballs what am I supposed to do? Watch the Thursday lineup of Cosby Show, some bad spinoff, Cheers, then Night Court????
MST3K Turkey Day Marathon?
New Mexico and Team Secular Big Love State!!!
I don’t know why they didn’t just swap night games. It’s not super fair to GB and CHI, but who cares? It’s equally unfair to both of them.
Plus they’re both NBC games. I feel the the NFL must owe NBC a bunch of money for dropping their Thanksgiving game
Has anyone seen Haskins in the past month? I think Snyder might have had him ritually killed.
It’s been more than a year and the warranty is up, so they can’t return him to the NCAA
I just finished my family Zoom call and I want to cry. It was fantastic! I saw a niece who I last saw when she was 10 and she’s 35 now. I love my family but it made you realize how far away from each other we are. I’m going to see all of these people eventually and give them the biggest hugs they ever had.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving! Glad you were able to connect with even more of your family than usual in this very odd year 🙂
The best part was everyone was doing the right thing by staying home and they all believe in SCIENCE!
I’m guessing your clan’s patron saint is Thomas Dolby?
How similar is playing without a soul to playing without an O-line?
I’ve always loved that painting
These offensive linemen getting their ankles/feet rolled up on-every one of them should have one of those “I’m in reverse” beepers attached to their unis so that this kind of injury can be reduced.
Was that 2 dallas O line players ded inside of 4 plays?
Something like that. Poor Dallas, boo fucking hoo.
More wine before cocktailing later. Wine helps the cleanup go faster right?
Seems reasonable
Wine is always the answer.
Asked a lawyer guy to do some lawyering and he hasn’t called yet so most likely tomorrow we’ll sort some things out. Time for beer, scotch and some Cherry Suckilee(?).
Like they say, it ain’t gonna suckilee itself…
I’m surprised the zombie gangster Dutch Schultz is good enough at football to play TE in the NFL, even if it is for dallas
You’d think Jerrah would be more inclined to sign zombie bank robber Clyde Barrow, especially since Clyde was from just SE of Dallas, so could be a local favorite. At least more so than a Jewish New York gangster.
Three and out, that’s the Washington way
I think as long as they are “FT” their jerseys and pants should be plain white, with black “generic font” lettering.
This.
I think go and get a D R I N K.
Holy shit, does brining your turkey ever work!
Oh yes, brining then smoking a turkey is the only way I will ever eat turkey in the future. Brining your chicken a day before you cook it makes a hell of a difference as well.
I dry brined but ended up rinsing it since I’m an idiot and it wasn’t defrosted enough inside. This whole thing is a crapshoot.
The first time you do it, it’s like night and day.
I coat mines in vegetable oil and kosher salt. With celery up the breast’s ass (since I only abide white meat) to increase broth production.
This dinner comes with asparagus! YES
Urine trouble later on this evening.
Asparagus infused pee is great for keeping the deer from eating your ornamental plants, or so I have heard.
really hoping that
Terry Mclarin shreds this
goofy Dallas Defense
That tv shot to dalton for the red rocket’s glare is primo producing
Did not show anyone kneeling. Not sure if anyone did….they did not do a full bench shot of the football team.
Two apple-cider mules in. When do I switch to wine? Do I house another cocktail before The Duchess LaCross arrives?
Wine is always the answer.
Whiskey/absinthe or gtfo
Or possibly and instead of or