Your “Go Back, Jack, Do It Again” Thanksgiving Football Open Thread, Part Deux

I’m talking about filling your plate a second or third time of course. How the hell are you going to doze off in front of the TV otherwise? Sheesh!

TO THE GAME!

Team/Cowboys:

-Bearing in mind the division these guys play in you can say that both are riding high on one game winning streaks.

-Each team in the NFC East has won three games and it’s the sort of logjam that your uncle creates in yer terlet just before he leaves your house at the end of the night, telling no one. The Eagles precocious tie gives then a lofty .350 winning percentage and the division lead.

-Battle of the Backups! Both Dalton and Smith have been underwhelming although the former had his way last week with a Vikes D that has given up the ghost. Things shouldn’t be as easy this time around as Team’s D exerts all kinds of pressure up front and has an underrated secondary.

-“Scary Terry” is listed as questionable but his ability is not. He’s playing on an anemic O featuring a third-string qb and somehow he’s 4th in the league in receiving. It does sorta help that he has no help in the passing game but still…

-Zeke had his very first 100 yard game last week. It probably had something to do with benching Terrance Steele and shuffling what’s left of the talent on the line (Zach Martin and Connor McGovern) over to the right side. When the Cowboys ran to that side they did so at 7.2 yards a pop.

Continue doing that thing you were doing. It felt very nice!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuckballs

clint greasewood

Antonio Gibson for non QB Offensive rookie of the year?

Horatio Cornblower

You were saying?

clint greasewood

That Jefferson WR kid from Minnesota is having a year.

Doktor Zymm

Good call

King Hippo

This fixture is an absolute Ron Rivera wet dream. Disciplined, well-prepared, dominating LOS on both sides of el pelota. Then, a calculated risk to press leverage.

Horatio Cornblower

Also Dan Snyder might be forced to sell the team.

Doktor Zymm

That would be a beautiful day

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s not McKissic either. Eat shit, Team.

Horatio Cornblower

I think Gibson is the main RB now.

Not that this is at all helpful

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Possibly could have been helpful before I decided to start McKissic

Horatio Cornblower

The only ‘run’ Andy Reid likes, Troy, is a midnight run to White Castle

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Buck seems really surprised that the Cowboys can’t break tackles when the defender has both hands wrapped around their legs.

Recovery Whiskey

Its like any moment now the greatness will emerge and it’ll be 1992 all over again

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think that crowd in the Jerrahdome is feeling the spirit of Thanksgiving

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck ’em; they probably voted Trump.

WCS

THE OL’ DOUBLE J is gonna do all the blow and drink all the liquor in the Metroplex tonight.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s different how?

Sharkbait

Angry drinking and blow vs. happy drinking and blow

Sharkbait

FG and Touchdown and 2 point conversion from Dallas and we’re back in business for the tie!

King Hippo

First rule of trickeration – make sure to telegraph it as much as humanly possible.

Second rule – make sure it is a very slow-developing play, so the defense will get sleepy!

Doktor Zymm

Third rule: Have a punter who does not block under any circumstances

Horatio Cornblower

He really did just wave at the defender didn’t he?

Recovery Whiskey

comment image

hippofant

Not sure if he wasn’t supposed to be a pass target, given how he looked back.

Horatio Cornblower

THAT PLAY I CALL IT AN ABORTION BECAUSE IT WAS POORLY CONCEIVED AND DEAD ON ARRIVAL

Doktor Zymm

This game is hilarious, almost makes me miss being a fan of Team

Doktor Zymm

Cowfolk making the Team D look AMAZE

Horatio Cornblower

Losing Zack Martin seems to have ruined what cohesion the O-line was starting to develop

litre_cola

“What she said” is my go to.

King Hippo

I like pretty much the whole discography, aside from “November Spawned”

/Panic is my absolute favoUrite

Recovery Whiskey

+1 Rubber Ring.

litre_cola

Heh, take my upvote and like it.

Recovery Whiskey

My 1990s ex got custody of the Smiths. On the other hand I kept the Kraftwerk and OMD.

litre_cola

Here at DFO we ask the important questions.

Recovery Whiskey

Cure, Siouxsie and Bauhaus went with me. They insisted on REM and Depeche Mode. Fairly bitterly contested New Order.

ballsofsteelandfury

I would have traded DM for New Order. REM can go right in the trash next to TWBS’ Green Day records.

Horatio Cornblower

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-Me, watching that fake punt

King Hippo

oh, that was an open guffaw. NEVAR CHANGE, BLUEBUNNY!!

WCS

Mike McCarthy is useless.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s the end of the 3, and the end of my abstaining for the afternoon!

Doktor Zymm

Impressed you held out this long

Doktor Zymm

Especially with…*gestures vaguely towards the city of dallas*

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/pokes Team with a stick

Do something, McKissic!

I haven’t been watching, is he dead or just useless?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know much about wine, but i just opened a Gamay from the fancy liquor store, and lady bfc thinks it’s vinegary. I don’t but it feels a little effervescent. Is it bad? It’s pretty newish and not dirt cheap.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For further context, I’ll drink it whether or not it’s bad but I feel like I should ask this esteemed assemblage

ballsofsteelandfury

Sounds bad. Maybe you got a bad bottle? It happens.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bad like don’t drink it or bad like wash it down with higher quality hooch?

ballsofsteelandfury

I wouldn’t drink it.

Doktor Zymm

Nothing in a wine is gonna hurt you, mix it with some cola if it tastes gross

litre_cola

Memories of Barcelona! Hang some ham up on the walls and you are in flavoUr country!

Doktor Zymm

Yes! Valencia for me, when the cola is more expensive than the table wine..

Doktor Zymm

Does it have a cork? If so, check for rot

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cork looks fine. And it had a wax seal, so you know it’s [something something hipster bullshit something something]

litre_cola

Gamay from where?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It days Vivanterre, Gamay, MVB

litre_cola

It is a natural wine. It can and sometimes is supposed to be that way. It is considered raw wine so flaws and all.

Horatio Cornblower

Oooooh, looks like we got a sommelier on our hands, boys.

litre_cola

Backs into corner with my tastevin.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I knew someone here would have an answer.

Horatio Cornblower

Who wants to bet on a completion to McLauren for exactly 19 yards on this play?

Horatio Cornblower

Big upside there.

Doktor Zymm

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Horatio Cornblower

“Battle through” Van der Esch, Troy? Battle through!? Van der Esch literally patted him on the back and called it a day. Jaylon Smith should beat his ass for that “block”

Doktor Zymm

We gotta get back on track for a tie

Horatio Cornblower

Amari Cooper had 4 receptions for 98 yards and a TD in the first half, and Dallas’s half-time adjustment seems to have been to never throw him the ball again.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t even blame McCarthy for that. Dalton hit Lamb right in the paddles.

Doktor Zymm

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litre_cola

Too bad Morrissey is such a racist twat. I love me some The Smiths.

/at least Robert Smith is a good person.

litre_cola

Pure McCarthy is delicious McCarthy.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, that was SO STUPID

ballsofsteelandfury

That was the dictionary definition of “ill-advised”.

Horatio Cornblower

What a pick by Jaylon Smith! Now let’s watch Mike McCarthy weave his magic and turn this into 3 points!

King Hippo

Challenge ACCEPTED!

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow

Sharkbait

NostraCornblower!

King Hippo

Sudden Non-Gendered Change!!

Recovery Whiskey

Sudden Narrative Reversal!

Doktor Zymm

What’s everyone planning on watching in lieu of Birds/Metal workers?

Recovery Whiskey

Is Yule Log on yet

Sharkbait

Netflix in 4K!

ballsofsteelandfury

Mexican soccer

litre_cola

Same here.

Sharkbait

Might look for MST3K on youtube.

herodotus450

Gonna rewatch this game in reverse so as to hopefully erase it from my mind.

ArmedandHammered

Do some reading, mainly translated Chinese wuxia web novels.

Horatio Cornblower

If I were in the Cowboys secondary I would be asking to be taken off the field as well.

Horatio Cornblower

I drafted Zeke, Cooper, and Lamb, and when Dak(!) was the QB my team was putting up insane points.

Now they’re just driving me insane.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a shame that Andy Dalton gets sacked by 4 guys when there are probably plenty of other people out there who would enjoy it more

Gumbygirl

My Cornish hens are on the counter chillaxing, waiting for their sexy butter and herb rub before they go into the “sauna”
This ought to be good!

Horatio Cornblower

You West Coast people are freaking me out, since I’m already raiding the refrigerator for leftovers.

Recovery Whiskey

We haven’t even sat down to dinner yet. Late breakfast and day drinking have been the key performance indicators so far.

ballsofsteelandfury

My parents literally woke up about an hour ago. Retired life is apparently amazing.

Gumbygirl

We were going to eat earlier, but we decided to have brunch. Peanut butter french toast, bacon, and some amazing pineapple. Dinner around 6, weed and football( sort of) now.

Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
Recovery Whiskey

Bank Account!

herodotus450

A Chase Young vs. Andy Dalton battle just seems cruel to Bengals fans right now. Oh what I am I saying, they’d never notice it beyond the existing cruelty of simply being Bengals fans.

ArmedandHammered

Tenderloin was perfectly rare, the yorkshire pudding was an excellent sop for the beef drippings, mushroom, and rosemary gravy. The asparagus was perfect as well. The wife and kid are still eating. Time for the couch coma.

Sharkbait

I’m pretty sure you just made my christmas dinner

ArmedandHammered

Yep, we shall have the same but may add Welsh rarebit for broccoli instead of asparagus.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh man i miss rarebit.

Doktor Zymm

That’s the tastiest food that mocks an ethnic group I know of

Gumbygirl

Sounds like a plan!

litre_cola

That’s good hustle.

/slaps on ass HARD

Sharkbait

Did we anoint David Carradine as the god of ties?

Because I would like a David Carradine in this game.

Recovery Whiskey

Just decide don’t leave everyone hanging

Horatio Cornblower

You never go full Dungy

Doktor Zymm

What about Back to the Future 2 Marty McFly?comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Horatio, I’m back. Sorry to disappoint your wife (though she should be used to it) but I’m not a detectorist.

Horatio Cornblower

Just a weird fetish then? Cool, I get it.
/Starts drafting restraining order

Doktor Zymm

comment image

ArmedandHammered

Deep mountain speed dating.

Gumbygirl

Couples fun!

yeah right

That may have been the best Thanksgiving dinner ever. As an obvious Gravy aficionado I freaking nailed that gravy.

Now we have a nice pinot noir and it’s chill 30.

Love you people.

Gumbygirl

I know you guys love AT&T Lil, but that fake cutesie thing she does in that commercial makes me want to punch her, hard. And I’m a mean ole bitch, so she would feel it!

Horatio Cornblower

One of the worst people ever to comment here had a huge crush on her, and that forever ruined her for me.

ballsofsteelandfury

I also am not a fan.

Doktor Zymm

Year of the fumble? What an unfortunate zodiac sign, good thing it didn’t happen to anyone likeable.

Sharkbait

Nods

-A. Smith

Horatio Cornblower

That’ll be it for Zeke tonight. He just straight dropped that one.