Your Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Newsy Notes:

-That Hurts! Turns out that Lions center Frank Ragnow has been diagnosed with a, um, “Fractured Throat”. I have no idea what that entails but he finished out the game with it. He’s gonna be on the front page of Pain Tolerance Weekly, that’s for sure.

-Der Covid has hit both James Bradberry and Jason Garrett upside the nostrils and other affected areas. Freddie Kitchens will handle the play-calling duties, bringing some of that sweet Browns magic to the game.

-Sitters Can’t Be Winners-Stafford, Dimes, Gesicki and many others are out of commission. RoJo has pins in his fingers and bells on his toes, and has been asking the whereabouts of Sweet Gypsy Rose.

-Former Ravens rb Lorenzo Taliaferre has passed away at the age of 28 due to a heart attack. He played in the league from 2014-16. Damn that’s young.

TO THE GAME!

Chargers/Raiders:

-The odds folks have estimated that if the 7-6 Raiders win tonight their chances of making the playoffs are 29%. If they lose it drops all the way down to 5%.

-Qb Herbert’s (of the two tossers playing tonight, he likes Bauhaus the 2nd-most) passing TD prop this evening is 1.5. He’s thrown 2 or more in 8 of 12 games that he’s started. The Raiders have the 27th ranked pass D. Do the math.

-Quietly coming on these last few weeks is Nelson Agholor-over the last month he’s been WR16 fantasy-wise. With Ruggs on the Reserve-Covid list he should see the most targets after Waller. During that same time he’s led all wr’s in red zone targets inside the 10 yard line.

-What To Do With Jacobs? Coming off an injury and a pranking of fantasy players he had a lousy game and a worrying 42% snap share. I guess ya gotta play him if ya have him because Booker can’t read running lanes.

-Speaking of rb’s, Ekeler was out for quite some time but since his return he’s RB4. The last time the Chargers played the Raiders they ran for 160 yards and 2 TD’s.

Play ’em if you’ve got them down below.

 

 

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LemonJello

QUACK ATTACK in Vegas!

JustStopDude
litre_cola

Twenty-one current and former college students at Duke, U.N.C. Chapel Hill and Appalachian State have been charged with dealing thousands of pounds of marijuana, hundreds of kilograms of cocaine and other drugs, federal prosecutors said on Thursday.

But I thought everything was on the straight an narrow on Tobacco Road?

ArmedandHammered

Duke students were the money guys, UNC did the distribution, and App State handled the sales and did product testing.

LemonJello

I didn’t think the ECU kids had the money to buy all those drugs…

ArmedandHammered

They didn’t, they just bought moonshine from the NCSU students.

LemonJello

Happy Appy would be the moonshine school. NCSU prolly has an ether problem.

herodotus450

NC State students reached for comment just said something about an old man in the hills who buys all their drugs, so they never got caught.

rockingdog

totally Gandalf
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Gumbygirl

My neighbors when I was a kid bred Afghan Hounds. So pretty, soooo stupid!

SonOfSpam

Kind of boastful of you, but you probably weren’t that stupid as a kid.

rockingdog
clint greasewood

Raiders -3
O/U 52.5

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You bet on the Raiders? What the hell is wrong with you?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The good thing about the Raiders defense is that Derek won’t have to rush back to the field anytime soon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RTD: I predict 3 and out.

[monkey’s paw curls]

Derek Carr leads the team to 3 points and then is out of the game.

ballsofsteelandfury

Carr is in the locker room smoking a clove cigarette and pulling on his pud.

High school memories…

SonOfSpam

Shit, that was just our average Saturday.

Fronkenshteen

Groin. Done.

rockingdog

ah man
Carr pulled somethin
thats NOT rockin

litre_cola

Carr injured???? Will we get some Peterman-man????

Sharkbait

OU 3.5 INTS

King Hippo

OH YES!!!! A Festivus MIRACLE

Viva La Tabula Raza

Penis gets penis injury!

SonOfSpam

Uh oh. Pulled ballsack for Carr.

King Hippo

Emo Carr done pulled his dick.

King Hippo
SonOfSpam

Yes, because Carr just hurt his Ween.

litre_cola

Fuck Aglohor, when did he buy hands???

Sharkbait

I want to see the people in the middle of the Venn Diagram of people who listen to Miley Cyrus, and people who watch Good Morning Football

litre_cola

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King Hippo

NC State has a dude that’s basically Black Sideshow Bob, he has 5 blocked shots in the first half.

Unsurprised

With his face!?!

King Hippo

errrrrrgggggghhhhhh 😀

Unsurprised

THWACK

King Hippo

/see above

LemonJello

How much of his Die Bart Die tattoo can you see?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welp, I predicted three consecutive 3 and out’s for the Raiders, so my prediction is moot.

clint greasewood

San Deigo Los Angles Chargers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whNOfvyPpaM

Sharkbait

I know this is disguised product placement for Lexus, but they’re not wrong here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcEylCwkSxE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am genuinely doing my best to laugh at how bad these Raiders are.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was an obscenely easy drive for the Chargers. Like, they broke so little of a sweat they should use the footage to make a deodorant commercial.

Sharkbait

That’s not Keenan Allen

King Hippo

HIPPO SAD

Redshirt

The 55 Raiders are 7-6? How?!

WCS

2020

rockingdog
litre_cola

That’s a good pug right there.

Unsurprised

Pugs are abominations.

litre_cola

Not today man, not today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s see if the Raiders make me look like a genius with my prediction from the Battlebots thread.

Unsurprised

This is one Santa who’s going through the front door.

LemonJello

IBC Presents:

The Night the Reindeer Died

IBC: Yule Love It!

Unsurprised

This is why Balls prays to El Santo Clause.

Sharkbait

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Viva La Tabula Raza

This is going to an awful game, isn’t it?

ArmedandHammered

Yes

Redshirt

We had the Game of the Year on Monday. We need to be punished for that.

WCS

He is not wrong.

TheRevanchist

3 and out. No shock there.

litre_cola

My house of gamblor is having problems with deposits. TAKE MY MONEY GOD DAMMIT!

King Hippo

that waiting is THE WORST

King Hippo

Masked Erin Andrews makes me want to masturbate in Arabic.

Redshirt

That sure is an attractive bridge her nose has.

TheRevanchist

My MIL grew up in the middle east. She says it’s the eyebrows that are sexy.

litre_cola

Fingernails.

LemonJello

Her ankles are on display like some oasis harlot?

Sharkbait

Where is ICRM???

rockingdog

firing up BOTH Austin Ekler and Jacobs 2nite

hopefully this game is ROCKING!!!!

Sharkbait

No to Ekeler

Sharkbait

I ended up shoveling about a foot of snow today. I had to do it solo since Mrs. Sharkbait needed to keep an eye on baby Shark. Also because she had to do all of the shoveling last year when I was still in a sling post shoulder surgery. Needless to say, I’m a bit sore now. Bourbon is a painkiller right?

LemonJello

A delicious painkiller.

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Gumbygirl

I’m a total weirdo(obvs) but I really love to shovel snow. It’s a good workout and incredibly relaxing at the same time.

Redshirt

BREAKING: Scotchnaut might have a crush on Terry Bradshaw.

Redshirt

Don’t judge my weight gain in 2020!

(cries into pint of Mint Cookies n’ Cream)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wanted to pick up Clearasil Boy and start him in anticipation of the Raiders defense making him look like Matt Flynn (on the night he played against the Raiders).

Fronkenshteen

Lucky Fantasy Football Players: “Who in the hell was Lorenzo Taliaferro?”

Unlucky Fantasy Football Players: “Damn, Lorenzo Taliaferro died.”

Dunstan

Everyone else: “Yeah, I think I remember that episode of The Sopranos.”

King Hippo

The #BFIB teevee play-by-play guy is announcing St. Louis v. NC State hoopsball (ESPN+), it is bizarre.

Redshirt

Its like listening to the Bengals Color Guy do a TV football game. He goes from easily excited screaming homer to reserved, knowledgeable sage.

King Hippo

He pronounces the home team as “Slew” (SLU) which is really annoying.

Redshirt

Based on that logic, I really hope osew beat new. Also, I hope uhc destroys uht to spike the chfhpa committee.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Went to the dentist today and was convinced that would bounce me from LDB challenge. Survived.

Redshirt
Dunstan

Shouldn’t that be 47 (or possibly 46)?

King Hippo

46.6! – Jerry R., Spartansburg, SC

Redshirt

No. Biden will be the 47th POTUS, but Harris will be the 49th VPOTUS.

King Hippo

Wanted to get my GAMBLOR balance back on a number I liked better (fuck off, YOU have a problem), so put $19 on Keenan Allen for first TD (10-to-1). I know that’s basically wiping one’s ass with one’s moneys.

Redshirt

I don’t know. It doesn’t sound that bad, as except for two weeks ago, he’s good for one Rec. TD. I would’ve gone with one with higher odds to get a higher payout, but you do you.

You supposed to gamble for fun, not to win money.

(Also, Pro Football Reference still have Changers in the sdg folder. Not sure if that’s protest for the move or just laziness.)

litre_cola

I do the round number thing too.

King Hippo

Cartoon Carr has no eyeliner, and Cartoon Herbert has no acne. I call fuckery, Fox

blaxabbath

URGENT

Brown (BAL) has the rona so do I start: Thielen (vs CHI); Lockett (at WAS) or tonight’s Agholor?

King Hippo

I’d probably risk it with Purge Your Thielens (especially if game in Minny)

blaxabbath

I won my league last year with an inferior squad by taking my chances with some hot playoff hands. Now I’ve got underperformers like T Lockett and A Thielen and I’m paralyzed about whether to try my luck of be unsurprised by another down week by my ‘stars’…

King Hippo

Agholor fucked me over the one time I played him. So, perhaps he goes off tonight.

blaxabbath

I’ve never seen the Grinch movies so I’m giving the Jim Carrey edition a go as I wait for kickoff.

King Hippo

Unpopular HippoPINION Time – Outside of In Living ColoUr, I never found Jim Carrey funny.

blaxabbath

Mmmm….I don’t think that’s extreme. I mean, I don’t want to hear a peep about dumb and dumber not being perfect but, anything else, sure; he is a lot for one serving. I’ve had similar overdoses of Will Farrell as movie leads.

herodotus450

Will’s not as bad as Captain Farrell though smh

Redshirt

He actually does a decently good job. Nothing beats the TV special, but Carrey did his best to respect the source material and put his spin on it.

I haven’t seen Cumberbatch’s Grinch, so I can’t say if Carrey is better Grinch character.

I haven’t seen Myer’s Cat in the Hat, but I will say that Carrey was a better Dr. Seuss character.

JustStopDude

Hot teak…if somehow the Washington Washingtons make it to the playoffs…I think River Boat Ron has to be coach of the year.

He is winning the battle against that godawful, body destroying, energy zapping disease.

And he is fighting cancer too.

blaxabbath

Would he be the first latinx coach to accomplish some weird stat?

King Hippo

Fuck a duck, I have to root for Clippers du Merde tonight?

Redshirt

Pretend their playing golf and cheer with CdM finishes with a higher score.

King Hippo

that might be crazy/genius enough to WORK!

Redshirt

I just found out this existed. NSFW-Language

MLP:FiM Voice Actor Outtakes – YouTube

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