Your Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Newsy Notes:

-That Hurts! Turns out that Lions center Frank Ragnow has been diagnosed with a, um, “Fractured Throat”. I have no idea what that entails but he finished out the game with it. He’s gonna be on the front page of Pain Tolerance Weekly, that’s for sure.

-Der Covid has hit both James Bradberry and Jason Garrett upside the nostrils and other affected areas. Freddie Kitchens will handle the play-calling duties, bringing some of that sweet Browns magic to the game.

-Sitters Can’t Be Winners-Stafford, Dimes, Gesicki and many others are out of commission. RoJo has pins in his fingers and bells on his toes, and has been asking the whereabouts of Sweet Gypsy Rose.

-Former Ravens rb Lorenzo Taliaferre has passed away at the age of 28 due to a heart attack. He played in the league from 2014-16. Damn that’s young.

TO THE GAME!

Chargers/Raiders:

-The odds folks have estimated that if the 7-6 Raiders win tonight their chances of making the playoffs are 29%. If they lose it drops all the way down to 5%.

-Qb Herbert’s (of the two tossers playing tonight, he likes Bauhaus the 2nd-most) passing TD prop this evening is 1.5. He’s thrown 2 or more in 8 of 12 games that he’s started. The Raiders have the 27th ranked pass D. Do the math.

-Quietly coming on these last few weeks is Nelson Agholor-over the last month he’s been WR16 fantasy-wise. With Ruggs on the Reserve-Covid list he should see the most targets after Waller. During that same time he’s led all wr’s in red zone targets inside the 10 yard line.

-What To Do With Jacobs? Coming off an injury and a pranking of fantasy players he had a lousy game and a worrying 42% snap share. I guess ya gotta play him if ya have him because Booker can’t read running lanes.

-Speaking of rb’s, Ekeler was out for quite some time but since his return he’s RB4. The last time the Chargers played the Raiders they ran for 160 yards and 2 TD’s.

Play ’em if you’ve got them down below.

 

 

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blaxabbath

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!

Dunstan

I would totally read a “where are they now” or a 30-for-30 on the replacement officials from that game.

Redshirt

YOU CAN’T ADVANCE A FUMBLE, but wasn’t he in?

blaxabbath

Looked in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought he was in. If the Raiders had recovered and they had reviewed it they probably would have called it a touchdown.

King Hippo

What an ending. Except it’s NOT.

Dunstan

Can you advance the ball on a fumble in OT?

blaxabbath

Not talking shit but my FF opponent played K Allen tonight. Good for 2.10 points.

I stashed Alghlor like a stud.

Gumbygirl

My tv just asked if I am still there. None of your goddam bidness, Spectrum!

King Hippo

oh yeah, I fucking HATE that. Worst aspect of the Spectrum-ing

ballsofsteelandfury

Let’s say it’s 4th down and goal. Do you go for the tie or the win?

blaxabbath

Win. None of it matters for these teams.

Redshirt

Who let the NY Jets defense on the field?

blaxabbath

::Proudly stands next to wide open gate holding his belt buckle::

-Mark Davis

Brocky

neither team deserves to win

Dunstan

I move to reassign both teams to the NFC East. Do I have a second?

blaxabbath

That’s Rikki’s Raiders!

Sharkbait

ANYONE but Ekeler!

King Hippo

Look, giving it to Ekeler would make too much sense. You’re in the clear.

Sharkbait

Good point

clint greasewood

#27 Mullen is having a hell of a game

King Hippo

How will Anthony Lynn fuck this up?

King Hippo

STEP ONE – slow developing QB sweep

Dunstan

The possibility of a tie really excites the soccer fan in you, doesn’t it?

King Hippo

Lesser Footy and YES. Playing for the point away to Vegas is just sensible man management.

Dunstan

“Man management”

That’s… that’s Buddy Cole’s music!

blaxabbath

Herbert’s BLM message on his helmet is offensive.

Redshirt

“Respect Your Property”?

King Hippo

HAIL BLEERGH

Brocky

as the fantasy owner of the raiders kicker (going against nelson agelor in the fantasy playoffs)

that sequence was stressful but enjoyable

comment image

blaxabbath

It’s too bad there was never an entire offense predicated on Marriota’s legs that Gruden Could have snagged a play from there.

Mr. Ayo

Rollout to the short side of the field? CHECK!
Throw short of the goal line? CHECK!
Throw too low? CHECK!

blaxabbath

Why yes, the Raiders’ season is in life support — why do you ask?

blaxabbath

This is where XOAK needs Cam.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, if the Raiders kick a field goal with no time left, it’s a tie, right?

Redshirt

Its a flaw in the rules, but put the letter of the rules. They would win 27-24.

ballsofsteelandfury

I desperately want this to happen.

Sharkbait

Can I get a Wallerdown for the victory?

Recovery Whiskey

Aikman has you

Redshirt

I want this game to end 27-24 with the Chargers running out of time in their drive due to them not understanding the rules.

ballsofsteelandfury

HAHAHAHA YES!!!

King Hippo

yaaaasssss, 5-minute inconclusive spot review!

blaxabbath

If I had Carr’s wife, I’d have a groin injury too.

ballsofsteelandfury

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clint greasewood
Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
Dunstan

Well, we shall have no Scorigami tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Are you saying 26-24 has already happened?

Redshirt

41 times

Sharkbait

Are you being serious? Look at the last score
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Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s funny.

Mr. Ayo

Of course.

King Hippo

time is indeed a flat circle

Sharkbait

Booooo

King Hippo

That Q4 was absolutely performance art.

SonOfSpam

Just like Piss Christ.

And equally arousing.

King Hippo

Pat yourself on the back for choo-choo-choosing the correct LA squadron!

SonOfSpam

All apologies to Low Commander, but these guys will always be San Diego.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes. Just like the Raiders will always be Oakland.

King Hippo

they just go out for cigarettes every few decades

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Is it just me, or is Gruden getting progressively redder every time the camera cuts to him?

ballsofsteelandfury

Is he capable of embarrassment?

Gumbygirl

When he gets to full maroon…

Brocky

alpha! long time no see how the hell you been!

at least its been a long time for me. I feel like I’m only here twice a week anymore

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve seen better Hand-Ball coordination at the Olympic Gardens…

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’ve seen better from a lesbian giving a handjob.

Dunstan

THAT’S MY FETISH!

SonOfSpam

Or from a man trying to jill off a woman. Am I right ladies???

the Alpha and the Amoeba

But women don’t have balls…

SonOfSpam

Maybe not the ones YOU date, loser cuck.

King Hippo

I can think of no task MOAR hopeless than trying to go downtown on a has-bian.

Gumbygirl

I’ve seen better in the Special Olympics.

Dunstan

“Go on….” — R. Kraft

SonOfSpam

I think that takes more than $29.95

Redshirt

Last two minutes of the 2nd Half

Benny Hill Theme – YouTube

Doktor Zymm

Huh, seems overall FG% is actually higher than last season. If I’m not too lazy maybe I’ll check to see if it’s high variance by team later on. https://www.pro-football-reference.com/years/NFL/kicking.htm

Game Time Decision

Lucy says no kick

Gumbygirl

That was hilarious!

SonOfSpam

We deserve more of this.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh come on, we’re not THAT bad people.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dictionary definition of Comedy of Errors

Redshirt

Oh, come on, Raiders. They should’ve gone for a fake spike right there. The Chargers were completely not ready!

Recovery Whiskey

Booooo

Mr. Ayo

QB sneak with no timeouts? WTF?

Are both these coaches braindead?

Mr. Ayo

Good job, good effort LV.

King Hippo

Did that play answer your question?

Sharkbait

Could we get a most glorious David Carradine here?

Sharkbait

NostraFronk

SonOfSpam

Death, taxes, and (waves vaguely at Chargers) this shit.

Redshirt

…and the Chargers try to ice their own kicker.

Dunstan

And it worked!

Redshirt

It worked!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Gumbygirl

This guy…

Redshirt

HA!

Dunstan

Well, the Chargers should be in good shape here unless they…

ah. Yes. Well. Nevertheless.

SonOfSpam

lol yeah Anthony Lynn can really manage end-o-half situations

King Hippo

WOMP WOMP