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Your “Oh So Hot!” Saturday NFL Football Doubleheader Open Thread

scotchnaut

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Saturday games will be mostly the norm for a while. It is that time of the year.

TO THE GAMES!

Bills/Broncos:

-Drew Lock has a feisty/league-leading ADOT of 10.07 which is a little surprising. I guess his 4 TD throws last week were a bit surprising as well. Thing is, they all came from a clean pocket-when he’s under pressure his qb rating is a league-worst 25.

-The Long Game Needs Work-Josh Allen’s ADOT is an above average 8.81 but last week in the win over the Steelers he was 0-6 with 1 INT on throws over 20 yards.

-Both Denver rb’s Gordon and Lindsay are listed as questionable but expected to play.

-What to make of this? The Bills have the 32nd ranked rush D but they’ve kiboshed Ekeler (44 yds), Mostert (42) and Conner (18) since coming off their bye week. Looks like things are turning around just at the right time.

-Overlooked? Tim Patrick has averaged 14.6 fantasy points since week 9 with Lock under center. He should be okay today as it’s likely Jeudy that gets Bills airtight cb White.

Panthers/Packers:

-An interesting battle to watch should be de Burns vs David Bakhtiari-the former plays at both ends of the line so they should duke it out on about 50% of Rodgers’ drop backs.

-Under Fire: Carolina is missing five guys from the secondary that have started this year and they gave up 4 TD passes last week. Davante shall feast!

-Don’t underestimate Teddy B though-he had a 30+ fantasy game on the road vs the Chiefs. He’ll also benefit by getting D.J. Moore back. Curiously, starting at about halfway through the season Jaire Alexander started lining up exclusively on the left side so no one wr is going to be taken out of the game today as they’ll be moved around.

-Good For Me: (and you if you grabbed him) Te Rob Tonyan has saved some fantasy teams from the scrap heap by scoring a TD in each of the last four weeks. He’s bolstered a lousy position in fantasy (really, there’s no one outside Kelce and Waller that’s doing anything) with his recent shenanigans.

Speak to me and others down below.

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Brick Meathook

Is anybody still here?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not really

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Brick Meathook

Wanna see a good engine story I just wrote? I’m proud of it.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sure but I’m falling asleep so won’t be much help until the am

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Unsurprised

Sure

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TheRevanchist

An engine story is good, as long as it keeps running

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Unsurprised

Yes

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Unsurprised

I made a video of my trip to the Chicago Institute of Art and I had to set it to this, especially since I had a photo of that Bacon painting Joker spares in my video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=74&v=ZGFbd-zF_Cg&feature=youtu.be

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Unsurprised

I’m also pleased to see that it works when you insert a start time in the URL

0
yeah right

Goth?

Goth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VuzkzlqP9A

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

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Brick Meathook

It’s 52ºF in Los Angeles!

I might perhaps die if I don’t put on a sweater over my T-shirt and shorts.

1
yeah right

It’s a different era Dude,

Time to go full hoody!

1
Brick Meathook

The death of Alex Trebek was a national tragedy but the death of Pat Sajak will be an international tragedy.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You misspelled cause for celebration

2
Brick Meathook

Many years ago I worked at a bar in Charleston SC with Vanna White’s high school boyfriend. “She got a boob job and I never saw her again” he told me.

2
Dunstan

Can’t say she didn’t make the right decision!

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is blax’s fault but I’m thinking I need to make these https://omgchocolatedesserts.com/reeses-peanut-butter-christmas-trees/

1
blaxabbath

Man, Reese’s Christmas Trees are outstanding.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

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Redshirt

In Boring Based-Ball News, if Trevor Bauer re-signs with Cincinnati for a discount, it will be purely to spite a reporter. I’ll take it!

Trevor Bauer addresses Jon Heyman’s ‘too expensive for Reds’ report (cincinnati.com)

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck that guy

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Redshirt

If reporter: yes.

If Bauer: You are correct, but he was a good pitcher and he gave Cincy its first Cy Young Award. Plus, by all accounts he was a good teammate and he’s at least giving the Reds a bit of respect on the way out the door.

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blaxabbath

Weren’t the Reds supposed to be good a few years back?

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Redshirt

Not really. After 2012, they let Dusty Baker go and missed on his successor, but in their defense, Bryan Price was a well respected pitching coach and everyone was shocked and disappointed it didn’t work out. It sucked, because the Reds had to let Dusty go as he hit his ceiling with the Reds and the fans were not happy. Also the Red did the right hire, but some position coaches don’t make good head coaches; this was the case.

His last year in 2018 was the closest they went to “maybe a contender if it all comes together”. They started 3-15, which was the worst start in Franchise History. As a reminder, they are the first professional franchise in baseball, so it was the worst in 137 years.

The current guy, David Bell, does seem to be doing an okay job righting the ship and in 2020, they did make the playoffs, but it was only because they expanded the playoffs and the Reds went on a good streak. They got exposed as a team with an excellent pitching staff and a Home Run Derpy Offense that couldn’t hit a sacrifice hit or hit ground ball on purpose if their life depended on it.

Now with COVID, most teams are taking a loss and the Reds are in the same boat. They are small market team that lost their entire gate income. It sucks, but that’s 2020.

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Redshirt

Holy schnikies, Cincinnati didn’t blow it.

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Gumbygirl

Exciting finish in the SEC championship! Fuck the Gators.

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herodotus450

Counterpoint: fuck Alabama.

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Redshirt

Counter-counterpoint: Fuck both teams equally.

6
Unsurprised

Softcore has been updated for the week.

h

ttps://postimg.cc/gallery/16XMGkX

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Diora Baird just getting hotter?

2
Unsurprised

And better photographers and MUA people

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Unsurprised

But, yes. She is the queen of OnlyFans now.

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Redshirt

A Cincinnati football team in a very close postseason game in the rain. Where have I seen this before?

Last edited 5 years ago by Redshirt
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Mr. Ayo

Your last wet dream I assume.

2
Redshirt

No, It was a waking wet nightmare. Is that a thing?

2
Mr. Ayo

That totally doesn’t sound completely horrific.

2
Redshirt

Honestly, that’s the closest description of how I felt watching that game.

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litre_cola

Ummm, if the PAC12 championship was last night, I know this as I lost my bet, why are Forks up and Beaver St playing right now?

1
Unsurprised

Third place?

1
litre_cola

GAMBLOR?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I ate 2.2 pounds of meat and potatoes and gin tonight.

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litre_cola

Percentages please, in metric.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Two Vesper martinis so…6 oz of gin? Probably about a pound each of rib roast and potatoes. Which, truth be told, doesn’t really soud like all that much. I am going to PAY for this in the morning in so many ways.

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litre_cola

Vesper?comment image

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blaxabbath

Your overestimating the potatoes.

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blaxabbath

Not bothering with the typo. That one is on Apple.

0
yeah right

Well earned!

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Redshirt

Two UC DBs drop easy pick caught by Tulsa for a long gain. The second seal is broken.

0
Redshirt

Tying TD. Lead lost. Collapse imminent!

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litre_cola

HAIL GAMBLOR. The Jah Rhule fg did it.

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Mr. Ayo

GAMBLOR is not as entertaining as I was lead to believe.

Though it is as costly as I assumed.

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litre_cola

For the year, I am down 75 dollars, not including FF, where I could be even. I had some sketchy bets during March to May covid with teh Hippo (Belarus, Honduras), but persevered.

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Redshirt

…and there’s a block field goal by Tulsa. Innocent play or latest Cincinnati sports collapse?

0
hippofant

Annd it looks like it’s all going to be for naught!

Eagerly awaiting the analytics debate over that FG though!

0
hippofant

Love Panthers players rushing to help Burns off the field before they’re forced to burn clock for the injury delay.

0
hippofant

Uh, is each 15-year old going to get their OWN cake?!

1
Brick Meathook

I just ordered Chinese food for delivery, from a restaurant I buy from frequently. I have never met the woman I talk to on the phone every time, but she is all business and I like her a lot.

Last edited 5 years ago by Brick Meathook
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hippofant

Female Chinese business owners (lo ban leung) are always all business. Ain’t got no time for your nonsense, la!

4
litre_cola

Barber is a Lebanese tank, he is legit afraid of the 50 something Chinese female strip mall owner. She does not fuck around.

1
Redshirt

My doctor’s front office person is the same way. She didn’t care that I tested positive for a potentially lethal disease. She just had a job to do and that’s it.

“You got COVID. If you’re still alive after 10 days you can leave your house. We’ll send you the bill. Good day, sir!”

“Actually, I have several…”

“I said, ‘Good day, sir!’!”

Last edited 5 years ago by Redshirt
2
Brick Meathook

I have enjoyed how the responses to my post here make absolutely no sense to me.

3
Redshirt

Internet, anonymity and ADD is a bad combination.

2
Redshirt

UC passed up on a two score lead in the fourth quarter?! God, what causes Cincinnati sports teams to get so unbelievably stupid in the postseason?!

0
Redshirt

How nice of Clemson’s coach Sweeney to say that the Notre Dame team they defeated by three scores is one of the four best teams in the nation and deserves a shot in the playoffs. Touched by this magnanimous gesture, the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Kansas City Chiefs are demanding that the New York Jets get awarded the 7th seed in the AFC Playoffs, as they are clearly one of the seven best teams in the American Football Conference.

6
litre_cola

The fuck just happened but my cover?????

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hippofant

Trying to stay on this side of the 2-minute warning before kicking off, so they get that extra clock stoppage?

0
litre_cola

I am down. I have +10.5, he just made my day.

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Mr. Ayo

This is 3rd time in the last week I’m on the wrong side of these FG first back door covers.

1
litre_cola

Dear Penthouse letters,

I did not expect the back door this way. Matt Rhule was very knowledgeable about the backdoor cover.

/ I moved the line to 10.5 because I didn’t see blowout

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litre_cola

I have finished the heels of 2 btls of Irish whisky. I looked at Mrs. Cola and said I need to buy more, she said “yeah, Malibu and Vanilla vodka too drunky.”

1
yeah right

It’s a very Beastie Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru3gH27Fn6E&list=RD2t-lf1ajX2Q

1
hippofant

I thought Zymm said this game was going to be uncompetitive.

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Doktor Zymm

The football gods apparently listened to me complaining and decided to do better!

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hippofant

Lazar’s controller accidentally hit the hurdle button instead of the spin-move button.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know why I’m watching it, but this UCLA-Stanford game is nuts

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yeah right

Joe Flacco finds Kurt Warner a little boring.

2
herodotus450

I haven’t seen a Florida comeback this unexpected since November, 2000.

1
hippofant

Imagine: A world in which climate change wasn’t going to kill us all.

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