We are once again BACK to recapping the best comments of the week!

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

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DFO Comments O’ The Week!

Hippo: “DREW LOCK IS A GOT DAMNED STAR!”

Everyone Else: “Oh I’d forgotten, Hippo is the pill guy!”

blaxabbath

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Whoa. How often do you see 3 tight end sets these days?

scotchnaut

I’ll ask you not to disclose my search history to the entire clubhouse, sir.

LemonJello

We’re all imaginary friends here.

scotchnaut

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It was a challenging campaign in the Cape Colony today. Just settled down with a nice gin and tonic. Why aren’t these men of Baltimore oppressing these uncivilized Browns yet?

Cecil Rhodes

“RIGHT?” – King. Leopold II, Belgium

Litre_cola

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Jarvis Landry needs to start shitting his guts out during the half. And not return to the pitch.

King Hippo

IT’S A FIELD YOU FUCKING PRETENTIOUS CONTINENTALIST FANCY BOY

SonOfSpam

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I had “Oedipus Complex” texted at me in anger this morning. Man, that’s drunk texting fodder! God I miss normal people.

Don T

Crap like this is why you should never mix Psych degrees with Architecture courses.

scotchnaut

“We see here the scale model of our proposed open-plan Oedipus shopping complex. Note the Freudian slipway leading to the subconscious and subterranian parking garage”

Doktor Zymm

M.C. Escher: “Hmmm. Thinking about making that slipway circle back around…”

Kafka: “Interesting. Can you make it lead to nowhere?”

J. Lacan: “Gotta say, love the way you guys think.”

scotchnaut

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I’m looking to buy a sofa for the first time. I am very confused how they can range from $300 to $3000. Please provide any advice/tips/recommendations you may have.

hippofant

Buy leather, not fabric. Way easier to clean. And when you rub your penis on it, it feels way better.

scotchnaut

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Doesn’t matter if they are 4-12 or 12-4, the Factory always delivers.

Cecil Rhodes

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The Butcher, The Baker, The Turnover Maker

Doktor Zymm

What is, the top three spots on Andy Reid’s speed dial?

/this joke brought to you by speed dials

herodotus450

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Easily my fave game of the year. It had everything. Ups, downs. Rights, lefts. Insides, outsides. Circles, squares. North poles, south poles. Liquids, solids. Predators, prey. Love, the opposite of love. Bees, knees.

/something for everyone, really

scotchnaut

Also poop, apparently

BFC

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“What do you mean, ‘I forgot the handcuffs’? It’s pretty obvious that you’re not serious about this relationship. [takes zip ties out of back pocket, sighs] Now, hold out your hands like a good little boy so we can get started.”

scotchnaut

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“The abstinence is over. Here’s your headline: Weed is prettay prettay

/stares at mosquito—or… Is that a tomato stain?

Don T

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Trying to feel positive during the holiday season but the Fireplace Channel reminds me of that time when I slit the throats of Snap, Crackle and Pop.

scotchnaut

Knife eh? Huh. I think Pop’s been askin’ for a smotherin’

Don T

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“Excessive Love Terrace” was New Order’s less successful follow-up to “Bizarre Love Triangle”

Dunstan

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Everyone in the Northeast get their bread* & milk**?

*beer

**liquor

Sharkbait

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Did I ever tell you guys I went to school with Joe’s ex wife? She goes by Tatiana now, but her name is Debbie. Her brother Jeff graduated a year ahead of me, and apparently he was murdered by pirates a few years later.

Gumbygirl

Wait, what? That ending took a wild turn.

Mr. Ayo

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Good spy craft cums at a price

BFC

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Hot teak…if somehow the Washington Washingtons make it to the playoffs…I think River Boat Ron has to be coach of the year.

He is winning the battle against that godawful, body destroying, energy zapping disease.

And he is fighting cancer too.

JustStopDude

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3 and out. No shock there.

TheRevanchist

“Gonna Disagree. HARD!”

-Peter Gabriel’s Monkey

scotchnaut

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The Raiders playoff hopes. I call them Paul Walker because they’re going up in flames because of a Carr crash

Sharkbait

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Pour one out for JoJo Starbuck-she could have had a very successful career in porn but she married Terry Bradshaw instead.

scotchnaut

She shoulda married Roger Staubach then hyphenated her last name.

SonOfSpam

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Ah, nothing like a photoshoot performed at a La Quinta. Classy!

RTD

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I know Mariota scored the TD, but I think he mis-executed a few of those plays near the goal-line. On that sprint-out, he’s gotta just throw it. There’s one read, two receivers, and they’re either open or not. They’re not getting any more open the longer he holds the ball.

The play he did score on, it looked like there were receivers that were as open as receivers are going to be on the goal-line. If you won’t throw it into windows, then you can’t throw it on the goal-line at all.

hippofant

He definitely scored despite his worst efforts.

Balls

Reminds me of my college years.

Dunstan

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I’ve seen better Hand-Ball coordination at the Olympic Gardens…

Balls

I’ve seen better from a lesbian giving a handjob.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

THAT’S MY FETISH!

Dunstan

Or from a man trying to jill off a woman. Am I right ladies???

SonOfSpam

But women don’t have balls…

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Maybe not the ones YOU date, loser cuck.

SonOfSpam

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“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.” Like in my stomach.

Dunstan

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This is embarrassing.

WCS

Locked out of your place with no pants again?

Litre_cola

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Is it bad that I wish there wasn’t NFL today?

BFC

INTERVENTION AT BFC’S HOUSE. COMMENTARIAT ASSEMBLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

scotchnaut

I’ll bring the jump cables, battery and dril…. oh, wait, you said intervention, not interrogation…

bk109

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First there was Nurses, now FX is coming out with A Teacher.

Is there a cocaine shortage in the TV industry?

Mr. Ayo

One might argue that there is a surplus.

scotchnaut

Brick is bogarting it all.

King Hippo

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Al Michaels is COVID grounded. In other terrible news, Cris Collinsworth is healthy.

Redshirt

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THIS PANTHERS PASS RUSH I CALL IT A FAMILY REUNION, BECAUSE AARON RODGERS IS EASILY AVOIDING IT!!!

Horatio

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last funny:

It’s only a chihuahua if it comes from the Chihuahua region of Mexico. Anything else is just a sparkling mouse.

rockingdog

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How nice of Clemson’s coach Sweeney to say that the Notre Dame team they defeated by three scores is one of the four best teams in the nation and deserves a shot in the playoffs. Touched by this magnanimous gesture, the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Kansas City Chiefs are demanding that the New York Jets get awarded the 7th seed in the AFC Playoffs, as they are clearly one of the seven best teams in the American Football Conference.

Redshirt

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Have a wonderful week, everyone! Thanks for the funny and stay safe!