MOAR BLOOD TO OIL THE GEARS!: Your College Football Championship/Charcoal-Gray Monday II Open Thread

Huh.  Well that went a different direction than expected…

I’m not surprised to be writing a followup Coaches Gettin’ ShitCanned post this week.  In a historically weak NFC, the Bearistocrats! still needed the Super Bonus Charity Wild Card to qualify for the playoffs.  Listening to Chicago sports radio (having spent part of my misspent youth in the Chicago suburbs, I find it relaxing to hear Bob from Mokena call in to bitch about how the Cubs should trade a Triple-A shortstop for Mike Trout), the theme of the season has been how precarious the Matt Nagy/Ryan Pace/Mitch Trubisky triumvirate is– have they saved their jobs, did last weekend cost them their jobs, etc.  Even during the Happy Time of feasting on carrion for cheap wins, there was a consistent realization that this was Not a Good Team.  So with the Bears being unceremoniously Double Dare’d by the Saints last night and Mitch seeming to be the only Bear who still wants to be on the team next year, I expected Ginny McCaskey to put down the laudenum, pick up the telephone

and do what needed to be done: telling Pace and Nagy to 23 skidoo.

While that may still happen (it takes a while for Virginia to work up the momentum for that crank, even if she is remarkably spry for a tart of her age), it was Doug Pederson of the Philadelphia Iggles who unceremoniously got Hitchbot’d.

You may recall Pederson as the man who delivered the Eagles from the clutches of Chip Kelly and was head coach when they…um…what was it again?

Oh yes, they WON THEIR FIRST SUPER BOWL.

But gratitude lives a short and brutal life in Philly.  Three years later, after his first losing season [EDIT: second losing season. He went 7-9 in his first year] Pederson was Dismissed as head coach after Losing the Locker Room during a 4-11-1 slog.  The seeds were sown at least last off-season, when the Eagles spent a second-round draft pick on QB Jalen Hurts despite having a franchise quarterback whose mega-extension (four years, $128 million contract extension with $107 million guaranteed) was about to kick in. Wentz was pissed, people had questions.  Wentz struggled, eventually getting benched after Week 13 and “irreparably fracturing” his relationship with Pederson. Jalen Hurts did what backups in Philly always do, flashing a lot of promise with just enough questions to make you rightfully nervous.  The nail in the coffin (for the locker room) was the final game of the season, when Pederson pulled Hurts for the third-stringer in a transparent give-up on prime-time national television.  Tanking is accepted in the modern NFL, but you are expected to do it in a somewhat less blatant manner.  To quote Topper Harley:

My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she’s a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but… it’s just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo… eat apple sauce through a straw… pork farm animals.

Jeff Lurie does not like being embarrassed publicly by anyone other than the ex-Mrs. Lurie, and so apparently That was That.  The reality is that Pederson was in trouble as soon as offensive coordinator Frank Reich left town.  Wentz regressed.  Nick Foles resumed being who Foles always is. The running game went to shit and injuries started catching up with them. Supposedly the last straw was Pederson not having a coherent answer about what the offensive identity of the team would be going forward. I get that- he thought having Al Groh’s son replace Reich was a good idea. But here we are.  Adios, Doug- we wish you luck in your inevitable coaching gig in Dallas.

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT:

“College” Football Championship: Alabama vs. Ohio State (8 pm Eastern, 7 pm DFO Standard) ESPN: I have nothing but contempt for Junior Football.  In normal years, its disgustingly exploitative and dangerous even by my loose moral standards.  This year, it is downright reckless- for the “students”, for the staff and for the legions of idiots who think that it means life can go on as normal.  If people gave half the shit about Power 5 schools’ actual job (educating young people and conducting research) as they do about filling their “teams” with a rotating cast of disposable young men who don’t need to go to class to get honors, 1. tuition would be 15% of its current levels, and 2. we’d probably already have flying cars.  WHERE’S MY FLYING CAR!!!?!?!?!?!  For God’s sake, Tommy Fucking Tuberville is a UNITED STATES SENATOR. Jesus, I’m going to have a a fucking aneurysm…

ANYWAY: I normally have even MORE contempt for the “University” of Alabama and Ohio State (as opposed to what- Ohio County? Ohio City?) than most other programs, because they are unapologetically pro teams whose university affiliation just gives them cover.  BUT this year there is this:

So fuck it.  Let’s go Not Nick Sabans!