Uh…I have neither the energy nor the wherewithal to draft four separate previews this year.  But luckily, there is only the Indianapolis Region to cover WOO!!!!  I did enter Yeah Right’s challenge, and encourage the entire Clubhouse to do the same.  I mean, I’ve maybe seen 2-3 hours of hoopsball all season (outside of my Shitty Wolves, who have given me #NITFever), it don’t stop me from pretending to know shit.

West Indy Region

Everybody keeps fluffing Gonzaga, the electrified cheese of NCAAT pools.  Indeed, their half of the bracket is fairly meh.  But they need someone to beat Iowa in advance of the regional final, and I don’t see that happening.  Would make for perhaps the honkiest regional final in like 50 years.  Burnley approves.

Shempion – Iowa

Cinderella Slipper Types – UCSB (destroyer of Spam’s Dreemz), whoever wins Scary Wheat v. Hate the Drake

East Indy Region

I hate everyone in this quadrant.  Not in the “gives me rage like Dook and U*NC” vein, but in the “wow, I don’t think y’all are any good” category.  Someone has to win, and Michigan is boring.  Scowlin’ Leonard Hamilton is a very, very good coach.  His team goes at least 9 deep, and are long as fuck.  That gives them a certain baseline to build from, and makes them a very tough matchup for almost everyone.  They are also easily the best team my Shitty Wolves played.  FSU absolutely wiped their ass with us.  I refuse to believe Roll Damn Tide even plays hoopsball, let alone being #2 seed-worthy.

Shempion – Florida State

Cinderella Slipper Types – Iona (yes, I am crazy enough to have money on this), whoever wins Sparty v. UCLA (almost every year, a team that seems unworthy of an invite goes on a run)

South Indy Region

Unlike East Indy, I could make a case for almost everyone here.  These squadrons is good.  Not good morally – as I am in the unenviable position of having to support the slimy, rapey fuckers from Waco.  But, they have ONE JERB – fucking up U*NC and strangling their Narrative in the crib.  Ohio State is really good, and Texas Tech took UVA to OT in the last national final (with a very similar group).  Villanova lost their PG (knee) like 3 weeks ago, and they have fallen plum apart.  Jay Wright’s teams are never deep, and one sees the risk in such squad building philosophy.

Shempion – Bay-Bay

Cinderella Slipper Types – Winthrop, Team Secular Big Love State, Oral Doesn’t Count

Midwest Indy (ain’t that like “jumbo shrimp”) Region

Illinois has, in my view, everything.  Star power.  Size AND guard play.  Depth.  Coaching.  Togetherness.  Plus, my best Imaginary #BFIB Pal is a lifelong Illini supporter.  In a year with very limited non-conference action, the champion of the best conference seems like a good bet.  I always like the JV 500s, and they always fuck me in the ass.  Caveat emptor.

Shempion – Illinois (as spoiled by banner pic)

Cinderella Slipper Types – Oregon State (Niiiiiiiiiiice Beaver!), JV Boltmen! (best defensive team I saw all year – limited subset caveats abound)

After resolving to only do one (the DFO pool) entry, I ended up sending in two for my office pool.  I think the Illinois/Bay-Bay winner cuts down the nets, and since Bay-Bay has the tougher region…I took Illinois twice, and Bay-Bay once.

Tonight’s play-in and other action:

Texas Southern (+1) v. Mount St. Mary’s (5:10, truTV)

So begins that annual pilgrimage to find truTV on one’s cable listing.  As a land grant university alumnus, I am pleased that Indiana gets the shitty play-in games, while Purdue gets the good ones.  With all due respect to Brocky smh.

Hate the Drake! (-2) v. Scary Wheat (6:27, TBS)

I guess Vegas don’t Hate the Drake!  It’s also a phrase you will never, ever hear a stripper say.

NC State (+1.5) v. Davidson (7:00, ESPN)

OK, this is is #NuAIDS Metroplex NIT, but I dreamed my Shitty Wolves won by a point.  Earth shattering, that.  You will recognize my squadron as the one with Black dudes playing.

Happy Appy (-3.5) v. Norfolk State (8:40, truTV)

Boone, NC is quite the lovely little mountain town.  I have never been to Nor-fuck, but I appreciate the funny way they say their city’s name.

UCLA (+2) v. Michigan State (9:57, TBS)

Staying up until the wee hours to watch these Very Disappointing Sides is how you know you have a problem.  Watch this be an amazeballs fixture.

Here’s to a fun torneo, with NO DOOK, and hopefully a Pitino-ish brief appearance by U*NC.  Seriously, fuck those motherfuckers.  tWBS’ ghost will hopefully work some shenanigans.