You want afternoon and evening fixtures?  Motherfucker, you’ve got ’em!

13MW Liberty (+7) v. 4MW Oklahoma State (6:25, TBS)

Fundamentalist Flamers going up against BDSM State.  Oh, some taboos is getting broken.

9S Wisconsin (+1.5) v. 8S U*NC (7:10, CBS)

Seriously, rooting for these Cheesehead assdicks is going to hurt my soul.  But as political speechwriter Charlie Kelly once penned – This must doooooo.

15MW Cleveland State (+20) v. 2MW Houston (7:15, truTV)

To think, I saw that 6:25 tip, and almost gave the broadcasters credit for excellent time slot spacing.  Also, how do goddamned Vikings end up in goddamned Cleveland?  Strangely, I never pondered this query regarding Minnesota.  Life comes at you fast sometimes.

13S North Texas (+7) v. 4S Purdue (7:25, TNT)

This line seems a bit light, as one expects Purdue to boringly dispatch of mediocre foes – just with limited ceiling.  But perhaps UNT (the NIT hosts, Shitty Wolves now in the Elite 69-76 quartefinals WOO!!!!) is better than I expect.  Ain’t like I’ve seen them play.

10MW Rutgers (-2) v. 7MW Clemson (9:20, TBS)

In a non-#NuAIDS Timeline, we would all be astonished that Rutgers actually made the tournament.  Hardwood Schiano Men v. Hardwood DABO!s?  Seems pretty evil.  The winner has no chance to advance further, so I hope they cherish tonight.

11MW Sillycuse (+3) v. 6 MW JV BOLTMEN! (9:40, CBS)

Nobody is MOAR comfortable in their “double digit seed” skin than Boeheim’s merry men.  How the fuck will Scotchy stay awake this late?  As I noted previously, in my very limited subset of viewings, SDSU looked absolutely dominant defensively.  But will they score against that pesky matchup zone?  I never bet O/U, but the under – barring OT – has to be the value play.

14MW Morehead State (+13) v. 3MW West By God Virginia (9:50, truTV)

Everybody wave to Emperor of All Things Manchin!  And man, was the King of Track Suits ever a visionary.  In our #NuAIDS era, we are all converts to comfort.  Work, school, weddings, funeral?  Fuck it, put on some trackies and let’s go.  I am quite disappoint we won’t see Morehead take on Oral Doesn’t Count.  DUE BETTER SELECTION COMMITTEE.

12S Winthrop (+6.5) v. 5S Villanova (9:57, TNT)

This line gives me pause, as I see this as a true coinflip.  Winthrop (where Gregg Marshall first learned to chuck basketballs and yell racially dicey things at student-athletes) is actually quite good.  Yes, the schedule – but the eye test doesn’t (always) lie.  Villanova without their ded PG?  Atrocious.  Stay up late, watch me look like the dumb asshole I am.