Global Snaxx Episode 13

We are back! Thanks to Internet Dad’s work we are better than ever.

I’m just back from the convention centRe where Tomiko was surprisingly gentle with the jab. Up here after much pressure they opened it up to folks 40+for the AZ. Let me tell you Gen X was ready to fucking go and the place was distanced but packed. The line to get in to “the club” was about 500 hundo and snaked around like I was going to get on Space Mountain. It was efficient, friendly and an over all good experience, plus Tomiko. Had Pearl Jam come on and a mysterious bar appear it would have been a party. Anyway, can’t wait until I get the second dose and be all Vaxxed Up and not know what to do.

To the Snaxx for the week!

Korea

Orion – Choco Boy

 

“Have fun with your friend Chocoboy” is on the box! I mean the only way we can go wrong here is if they indeed taste like they look and they look like wee mushrooms. First bonus is that they come in a twin pack moar Snaxx for me! Truly it’s only a bonus if they’re any good.

I grab the 1st one and they do look like chocolate headed mushrooms. (Not that kind Scotchy). The chocolate is a bit filmy looking but the stem is like an animal cracker. I ate one, then two, then the whole 1st bag without sharing. These things are kick ass. I really am happy with this purchase because the cookie has crunch and the chocolate is tasty. I highly recommend these whenever in your local Korean market. After all of these episodes the Koreans really are dialed in on snack food, except for the fishy stuff where I am yet to find anything good. 

Ukraine

Wasabi chips. (All in Cyrillic, pictured English version)  

 

The set up of these is a bit odd. They’re in a long box like you would find tubes of toothpaste. There’s a bag inside with equally long and square potato chips. Scotchy had mentioned these in a live blog and I was very interested in trying them out. I love wasabi and completely destroy sushi because of it’s delectable heat. I know I’m killing the taste but I want soy sauce and spicy exotic heat!

After consuming a few of them I think that it all depends upon how much green dust was on the chip for the potency of wasabi. When you get your bite right it is very powerful but quite pleasant. The chip is quite thin and is like a Pringle in texture and taste. I don’t hate these but then again I love wasabi. You can’t really finish the whole box as after a few of these potato rectangles the taste is a bit overpowering. Throughout the week I snacked on this undersized box/bag and they hit the spot. I’ve had wasabi peas before which are lovely but it never crossed my mind to put that flavoUr on a potato chip. Congrats Ukraine something different and not half bad. 

Japan

Green Tea Pocky

 

I’ve worked for resort hotels in various locales and was introduced to these batons about 20 plus years ago as they were for sale in the candy store. The Japanese who were a large portion of the clientele just loved them when they came over to visit. I guess they were a little snack from home while they were abroad. I used to always travel with a Snickers bar in case I got peckish when I was travelling so I totally get that. 

I am not the biggest fan of green tea flavoUred things, matcha can also GTFO. I think this falls into the category of faux flavoUring like strawberry which I hate because I like both real strawberries and  green tea. I have also tasted the Strawberry Pocky and the fall in the same shitty fake taste category.

These things are, ok. They really are nothing special, I do dislike the film you get in your mouth after eating them. The tea flavoUr is not overbearing but it isn’t real green tea ad tastes phony. I’ll say that Decilitre ate pretty much the whole bag without me paying attention so if the fine people at Pocky are looking for the 3-4 year old demographic they nailed it. 

Germany 

Qualitats Marzipan

What we have learned over the past 12 episodes is that BeerGuyRob is allergic to chocolate and that I am allergic to nuts. I enlisted the help of my wife on this one and will do so going forward with any nut Snaxx that are in my subscription box.

Me: First impressions?

Mrs. Cola :- It’s too sweet.

Me: What does Marzipan taste like?

Mrs C: Almond extract

Me: What does Almond extract taste like? 

Mrs. C: Fake almond flavoUr

Me: What does fake almond flavoUr taste like? 

Mrs C.: Almonds

Me: What do almonds taste like? 

Mrs. C.: Tree nuts.

Me: Not helping. Fine, Is it good? 

Mrs. C: No, I would not eat this again. I would prefer if the middle was coconut, this is too sweet fake almond paste, kinda gross. 

I probably would like it if it didn’t kill me.

 

I just got the Spain box this past week so next week all the Spanish goodies will be featured because a bunch of us have the same subscription. See you next week!

In closing, here’s a wee tune for you;

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am disappointed to learn that marzipan candy from Germany wasn’t any good. You let me down, Üter!

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t think it’s that it’s not good. I think folks just don’t like marzipan.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I like marzipan

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t let anyone tell you different: those are chocolate penises.

King Hippo

Mr. Marcus Brand!

TheRevanchist

I didn’t read anything about cream filling.

Brick Meathook

On a U.S. submarine, the Mark-48 torpedoes run on a concoction called “OTTO fuel” which is cyanide-based and lethal if it leaks out into the sub’s atmosphere. If you smelled it you better get an EAB mask on pronto or you’re dead like Auschwitz.

All our training was that it smelled “like toasted almonds,” after which everyone would ask “what do toasted almonds smell like?” They could never answer that, and no one ever thought of toasting some almonds in training to find out.

Warthog

On Russian sub, almond toasts you.

BeefReeferLives

I have heard that cyanide smells / tastes like bitter almonds.. But at a loss to understand why the hell the Navy would use a cyanide based propellant for a torpedo housed on a sub…

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Brick Meathook

That decision was above my pay grade.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some googling suggests that it’s actually cyanogen (a pair of cyanide molecules paired together – NC-CN) used as a rocket propellant, though I’m having a hard time figuring out how it reacts.

BeefReeferLives

Ah. Interesting – no mention of cyanide tho… “Needing no oxidants and being a stable substance makes Otto Fuel II ideal for use in the constrained environment of a submarine.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_fuel_II

Brick Meathook

Unless it leaks and then it’s deadly. I wasn’t a torpedoman so I don’t know how it works either except for the casualty response, which was get a mask on fast. We drilled for this often.

The oxygen generator and the torpedo fuel were the most dangerous things on the boat, much more than the reactor plant (the secondary steam plant was more dangerous than the primary). TRIVIA: Our diesel’s max cylinder temperature was hotter than the reactor’s max core centerline temperature.

BeefReeferLives

“Hey, this shit will kill everybody on board if it leaks”
“Yeah, but it won’t go KERBLAMMO and damage the sub”
“Oh. Well jolly good. Carry on then”

scotchnaut

I knew I was going to like the wasabi chips but you’re right, you can’t have very many at a time. They need to be alternated with some other snack, like maybe cheese-flavoUred Bits and Bites, something like that.

yeah right

Trader Joe’s used to sell wasabi cashews which were drool worthy. They were so delicious that I made special trips there just got the cashews. Then of course Trader Joe’s stopped selling them just as I became fully addicted.

Bastards!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A bakery around here did that with a croissant loaf. It’s basically a loaf of bread made out of croissant dough. They sell a version at Trader Joe’s that is quite good, and is still probably only 1/8 as good as the local place made.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve eaten that Trader Joe’s Croissant Loaf. It is indeed quite good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now imagine something 8 times better, that only cost $10. It would have been a steal at $20. I am so heartbroken they stopped making it.

Don T

Mrs. CoUla’s description of marzipan was spot on. Tastes like an amaretto burp. Fuck that shit.

yeah right

You are truly missing nothing in regards to the marzipan. It’s always been a German thing and I’ve never understood why. It’s cloyingly sweet and tastes like paste. There were far, far better options in the German box. Especially those little Funyun dealies. Those things fucking rocked.

yeah right

That was fantastic. There’s an item in the Spain box that slapped me to attention too but that’s for next week.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I haven’t started in on the Spain box yet, looking forward to it

King Hippo

April is the worstest sportsball month. Until May. Then June. UGH, don’t get me started on Fookin’ July…

yeah right

Yeah the Moderna felt like a solid slug in the arm. But it doesn’t scare me from going back for dose #2… TODAY IN LIKE 4 FUCKING HOURS! WOOOOO!!!!

King Hippo

3 May for Pfizer round 2 (me and Wolven HippoSpawn). Speaking of which, I blew up at her last week…and it seemed to clear the air, and she is talking to me like I’m semi-human again. Even with the positive after-effects, I feel bad. I will apologize on the trip back from our shots.

I had the “punched in arm” feeling for 48 hrs, but I had me opiates to dull the edges.

BugEyedBoo

In the good news/bad news/good news department:

Good: found a shot for my daughter, two weeks earlier than her appointment.

Bad: J&J was offered at her school, the day after she got her Moderna shot. Oops.

Good: J&J blood clot side effects mostly affect 18-to-30-year-old women. My daughter would have lost her mind if she had got the J&J vaccine – she’s kind of a hypochondriac.

BugEyedBoo

After Moderna #2’s flu symptoms went away, I still had aches in my shoulder and neck muscles that lasted a few more days.

The shots give you three spins on Wheel of Symptoms. My wife got “sore arm”, “swollen lymph node”, and “skin hurts”. I got “sore arm”, “sore neck”, and the big winner, “miserable flu”. I’m surprised we haven’t seen “simple chronic halitosis” or “painful rectal itch” turn up yet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve been suffering from chronic masturbation but it pre-dates the vaccine so I don’t think they’re connected.

BugEyedBoo

Just make sure you get the shot in your non-firing arm, and you should be fine.

LemonJello

Arm!?! You got the shot in your arm? What kind of Upstairs Back Alley Doctor Clinic did I get swindled into visiting?

ballsofsteelandfury

Go Ass or Go Home!

yeah right

I’ll get back to you shortly.

yeah right

Dosed motherfuckers! Woo!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! Welcome to Fully Vaccinated Club, now drop those trousers and get ready for initiation!

BugEyedBoo

Yep. His turn in the barrel.

King Hippo

Ukraine Snaxx Not Weak!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Putin is jealous of Ukraine’s wasabi-flavoured-snack-manufacturing dominance; that’s why Russian troops, armor, and artillery are massed on the border.

LemonJello

It’s been a while since the Treaty of Cheerwine ended the Cola Wars. Seems like the Snack Wars are due.