[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

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Your The Super League is as dead as Prince Philip Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury

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Today has been an interesting day. Somehow, someway, reason and logic have triumphed. Both in Europe and in Minnesota.

The Super League is dead and the rats are fighting each other to get off the sinking ship. Manchester City was the first to declare their intention to leave after Pep Guardiola, their coach, made it clear he was against the concept.

Chelsea swiftly followed. Then reports of Atlético Madrid and Barcelona bailing came out. The truth with Barça is that the members would have had to approve the decision to join and that wasn’t going to happen. I call it Laporta playing two ends against the middle and leaving himself with options. Can’t fault him for that.

As for the rest, the repercussions are starting. Board members are rumored to be leaving in the wake of this colossal fuckup.

Who knows what the future holds but for one day we didn’t have to use our AKs and that should be celebrated.

We don’t get too many of these often. Let’s enjoy it.

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Dunstan

There’s still a few shows that you can’t find on streaming. So I ended up buying a DVD of the brilliant but short-lived series, Action, starring Jay Mohr as douchebag movie producer Peter Dragon.

It’s as good as I remember, though some of the references are dated. In the pilot, an agent is pitching Dragon on an actor he won’t name because he’s “had some legal troubles.” Dragon says “oh god, it’s not Robert Downey Jr., is it?”

4
Brick Meathook

The view from the parking lot of the Culver City Office Depot:

comment image

1
Wakezilla

I was so happy to hear about the SuperLeague folding until I heard UEFAs new bullshit format change, which is essentially the fucking Super League.

Couldn’t they implement this a year or two after Madrid and Barcelona go bankrupt? Fuck.

0
SonOfSpam

Oh crap, Boner Island is on! Hope I haven’t missed anything, like stupid people doing stupid things for our amusement.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This <i>Maine</i> vessel that I’m supposed to remember seems to be calling for reinforcements.

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Dunstan

Be careful, next thing you know you’ll be at war with Spain

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

UPDATE: I’ve made no progress and am inclined to switch from tea to wine at 9

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good news! It’s nine!

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bad news! I still haven’t finished the first fucking RFP.

1
SonOfSpam

Takes a while to get the language just right on a Request For Peen.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sort of reminds me of how my Sundays would go during the first semester of my sophomore year in college. I had work for three hard classes due the following day (P-Chem, STEMS, and E&M) so I’d start working in the afternoon until I couldn’t take it anymore, then start drinking, and keep working until I was too drunk to work anymore and then keep drinking.

1
SonOfSpam

Lookit Prince Phucking Philip here drinking tea like an inbred fop. Pint time, innit?

4
Horatio Cornblower

Watching the highlights of Nick Castellanos getting suspended and how anyone can root for that miserable piece of shit Yadier Molina is beyond me.

2
Beerguyrob

Which is strange, because his brother Bengie is the nicest guy on the planet.

0
Don T

comment image&ct=g

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King Hippo

soooooo jelly smgdh

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Horatio Cornblower

I usually don’t drink during the week, but any time a cop gets convicted of killing an unarmed Black man, I’m going to have a few of these.comment image

Please do not make me wait this long again, America.

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That beer would be fitting to drink while watching Rick and Morty, as I happen to be doing right now.

0
Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way the Juice Doctor wasn’t inspired by Rick. No way.

0
BeefReeferLives

I think the “wild haired scientist” meme owes this guy all the cheese:comment image

1
Horatio Cornblower

If The Onion posted it I would say “yeah, that makes sense”, but if this is a real statement from the real Mark Davis then it’s Exhibit A in his inevitable involuntary commitment hearing.

0
SonOfSpam

He’s said that when the Supercuts lady ties the thing around his neck tight.

0
Brick Meathook

Supercuts? That’s got to be a wig on his head.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He says (and I believe him) he meant it as a reflection of what Floyd’s family said in response to the verdict. The problem is…
comment image

2
SonOfSpam

If those three suddenly died by separate random choking incidents, I’d probably finish before I read the whole obit.

3
Horatio Cornblower

If I’m on a jury for someone accused of dropping a grenade on them the defendant would be acquitted in record time, no matter how many of the other jurors I had to eat.

1
Gumbygirl

Oh, fuck these pigs with a rusty pitchfork.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, that’s enough procrastination. Time to start drinking.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hmm. Mint julep or Manhattan? I’m thinking Manhattan, since I’ve got the glass chilled already.

1
Dunstan

I’ve been experimenting with sours tonight.

Sadly, I dropped my glass cocktail shaker. Farewell, old friend. You shall not have died in vain!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My favorite cocktail shakers are these promotional ones from Ketel One. Plastic outer layer so your hands don’t get cold, 3/4 oz cap, and the way it joins (the lip on the lid goes <i>inside</i>) makes it less likely to fly apart when shaking.
comment image

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had one that eventually broke, but then I saw more at a garage sale so I bought two. The only knock on this thing is that it’s a little small for multiple cocktails at once.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Remember the Maine!

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

No thanks to you, Sara Gideon

1
Dunstan

Had one of those recently for the first time, since I finally acquired some Cherry Heering

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll give it a shot. The Sharkbait version, since that’s what I have the ingredients for.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hmm. Not bad.

0
SonOfSpam

How bout a 9/11. That’s a Manhattan. set afire, add liquid smoke, then after you drink it you say you’ll Never Forget it.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve been on quite a tear around here about the Red Sox yellow and blue uniforms and the American dedication to fetishizing every fucking tragedy that doesn’t involve gun control.

I’m quite popular and everyone loves me.

1
Dunstan

If you drink enough of them, you wake up in Iraq and have to figure out how the hell to get yourself out.

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SonOfSpam

(20 years later)

I am, in fact, being greeted as a liberator.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dying laughing

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who wants to do my work for me tonight?

0
Sharkbait

Are you working on a single malt? If so then I’m game

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

2 RFPs and a contract to review and a memo to write. Scotch likely not in the cards tonight.

1
Sharkbait

Ill trade your RFPs for however many vendor risk assessments came in Friday and Monday when I was off

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

If i don’t have to install a new VPN, then deal

1
TheRevanchist

Let me write the memo:

Four score and 7 years ago, that was 87 years in dog years, the president of the home owners association and his family in a large city of gold wrote the proclamation of independent unions. In order to make a more perfect union, we the people that have been doing the right things, upon the burden of proof and article 75, subsection 8, paragraph 23 and a half, built a large constituency to make the world harmonious and grand design upon the system of justice and military might.

In conclusion, let’s not do this, because we don’t want the liability.

BFC & Associates

7
Horatio Cornblower

Fuck, make this the banner or our mission statement. I don’t care which, because I’ve been drinking.

2
Brick Meathook

Did you finish those TPS reports?

2
SonOfSpam

I can’t jerk off that many chinchillas. Carpal tunnel.

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I believe in you

0
SonOfSpam

Ohtani tonight: 4 innings, 1 hit, no runs, 6 walks, 7 K’s.

He’s done for the night. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

But did he go yard?

0
SonOfSpam

Knowing he was on a pitch count, Angels smartly chose to utilize the DH tonight.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s…a lot of baserunners.

2
Horatio Cornblower

He’s a great player but still overrated thanks to his insistence on pitching, which he is not good at.

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Redshirt

Welp, the Reds had a lead but the refs forced the Reds to pitch in the middle of a downpour until they lost it…and then they called for the tarp. Now, if they don’t suspend the game, the may finish in a snow shower.

Thanks, BLEERGH!

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s My Raiders!

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”und” dir=”ltr”><a href=”https://t.co/eeWbMYHK3U”>pic.twitter.com/eeWbMYHK3U</a></p>&mdash; Las Vegas Raiders (@Raiders) <a href=”https://twitter.com/Raiders/status/1384650781672939521?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>April 20, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

0
Redshirt

Either the website’s acting up or DFO bought Twitter.

Page not found – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

0
Horatio Cornblower

They might have deleted it by now. It was…not good.

2
litre_cola

Find it on slack.

0
Gumbygirl

Never read the comments.

0
Redshirt

What a bunch of…wait…

(runs to Bengals twitter; checks it thoroughly; runs back to DFO)

…idiots.

4
Horatio Cornblower

For once Mike Brown being too cheap to pay for a PR team has proved the right decision.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was the twitter equivalent of this play.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx2SPy4vCE8

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
0
litre_cola

It did nae work but I know what that pic was.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was this.

kq94qx5x1fu61.jpg
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Sharkbait

They pinned the tweet to the top of their page. It’s still there.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Jesus wept.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Came here to post it but with a preamble

https://twitter.com/RacismDog/status/1384655052162408453?s=19

8
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Racism Watchdog is the best of boys.

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SonOfSpam

A really really good and necessary boy.

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scotchnaut

/this goes back a few years

Wife: “We should have more date nights-sorta rekindle things a bit.”

Me: “Oh man, that’s a great idea!”

Wife: “There’s a group of folks that are screening movies in the old theatre that’s been closed for two years.”

Me: “That’s so cool! We could have a date night and support their efforts!”

Me/Wife: [watches “Precious” on our date night]*

*falls asleep that night facing away from each other

3
SonOfSpam

Spectacular choice for a date movie. Thanks for the story!

0
litre_cola

So which vaxx does what? Which one is the Gates mind control? Which one is the 5G one? Is Google involved? What about the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes?

2
Redshirt

I’m on Moderna but I’ve only had the first dose. I should know of any mutations/superpowers/brainwashing by next weekend.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All of them do all of those things. That’s the beauty of it.

1
Dunstan

All of them have the power to turn Alex Berenson and Naomi Wolfe into gibbering lunatics.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of pre-existing comorbidities…

3
scotchnaut

My money is on The Colonel, what with his special blend of 11 herbs and chromosomes.

7
Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. I should probably get to writing something. Uh, I’m gonna just do the Beaties because I’m currently *checks non-existent pocketwatch* 4 weeks down on the BattleBots Beat?

Also, I hope polls work.

4
SonOfSpam

Do a post about how The Beatles are really the worst band ever. GET THE CLICKS.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

https://youtu.be/mPIpeW581rE

1
Sharkbait

Season 2 Ted Lasso trailer.

https://twitter.com/LightsCameraPod/status/1384556850780180481?s=19

6
Beerguyrob

So good; can’t wait.

3
scotchnaut

A ton of folks shit on cable but I’ve access to an extended cut of “We’re The Millers” right now. You can’t put a price on that.

1
herodotus450

Ehhhhh the Arthur Millers or the Ryan Millers?

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Miller’s Crossing?comment image

0
SonOfSpam

comment image

1
Brick Meathook

Miller Lite?

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2
Sharkbait

Barney Miller

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6
litre_cola

Uefa is now free to sneak past that new bullshit revamped Champions Lge as it is the lesser of the evil. For instance Hippos beloved Everton could finish 4th and get the Europa lge and the Reds finish 6th and due to some points fuckery could get a champions lg birth.

1
litre_cola

Tin foil hat fully on over here.

1
King Hippo

I tend to agree with the Athletic piece a few hours ago – the Cabal pushed all its chips to the middle and lost. Their leverage is gone, and they have much less clout than last week. It was a spectacular own goal.

3
litre_cola

Uefa gets their shit format now. Open your eyes sheeple!!!!! You are an Athletic enabler. How did I get my cheap subscription eh recruiter Hippo. Its all out there people.

Last edited 5 years ago by litre_cola
4
Senor Weaselo

I was going to say, isn’t it just a slightly watered-down version of the same Super League bullshit?

1
Sharkbait

Found your alt.

https://twitter.com/mjshrimper/status/1384631355573776384?s=20

2
litre_cola

Exactly.

0
Redshirt

Derek Chauvin’s convictions is showing up as Breaking News on the NFL Network. I didn’t know he was a Bengal.

2
scotchnaut

What do Derek Chauvin and the Bengals have in common?

They both have new uniforms.

16
Redshirt

I would’ve also accepted “They both look good in orange and stripes.”

8
SonOfSpam

They’re both gonna spend the foreseeable future getting beaten by Browns?

10
Horatio Cornblower

Holeeeeee shit, SoS; you have outdone yourself with this one.

0
Redshirt

We may have new banner. Can a mod put it in the altar and perform the ritual to see if the gods agree?

3
Horatio Cornblower

I’ll second this, assuming we’re following the usual rules of parliamentary procedure here.
comment image

5
Sharkbait

Don’t worry, he’s in pre-law

3
Redshirt

I thought he was pre-med?

3
Horatio Cornblower

What’s the difference?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All the beautiful work that SonOfSpam put in on the previous thread just went up in smoke thanks to this one absolute gem by scotchnaut.

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
1
Horatio Cornblower

I would also have accepted “the new guy is going to get royally fucked up within 8 weeks of starting his new career.

1
scotchnaut

Proposition:

The favoured horse in this year’s Kentucky Derby should be re-named “Incremental Change”.

Announcer: “And Incremental Change comes around the last corner. Incremental Change has taken the lead, Incremental Change is lengthening his lead!”

Crowd: “C’mon, Incremental Change, you can do this!”

Announcer: “Incremental Change has won! Incremental Change has won!!!”

Crowd: [cashing their bets] “Damn! I love Incremental Change! Incremental Change is great!”

7
Redshirt

(Hippo angrily rips up betting slips for “Status Quo”)

5
King Hippo

the ONE TIME it comes in 2nd smgdh

4
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Hold your tickets, folks. Coming from behind and beating Incremental Change in a photo finish, it’s Qualified Immunity for Cops for the win!” 

4
Dunstan

Krusty the Clown: “ARGH! I thought Radical Pie In the Sky Demands was DUE!”

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS SUPER LEAGUE I CALL IT DEREK CHAUVIN BECAUSE IT IS GOING AWAY FOR A WHILE BUT WILL MOST LIKELY BE JUST AS HORRIBLE WHEN IT INEVITABLY RETURNS.

4
Beerguyrob

It’s just a shame the people of Minnesota had to go and ruin Hitler’s birthday party in Hell. Luckily, Rush Limbaugh will be able to finish off all of that crab dip.

6
Viva La Tabula Raza

And then Rush can give Hitler a hand-o. For eternity.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Really seems like Rush’s idea of Heaven.

0
Redshirt

While I’m thrilled that justice won, I cannot be completely happy because most of us still had doubts in the back of our minds that the jury might have split the pig and didn’t convict on the bigger charge.

Also, let’s not forget that this happened in Minnesota which is a liberal state. If this happened in Atlanta, the jury is out for a week and convict in the lower charge and deadlocks in the top two charges and instead of relieved celebration, #FinishWhatShermanStarted would currently be trending.

But kudos to the American Legal System for verifying for one case at least that a black person is no lesser to anyone else and a police officer is no greater. It only took about about 250 years, but better late than never.

8
Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder how the boys in blue are going to react to this. I sure wouldn’t want to be driving while black any time over the next few weeks..

1
Redshirt

I’m a naïve optimist, so I think this will be a watershed moment and cops will no longer be silent or (in this case) sit back when someone is abusing their authority as they realize that in order to regain the trust of the people, they will need to change and stop putting the Thin Blue Line before those they have sworn to serve and protect, or they’ll all walk of the job and we’ll go to a 24-hour Purge.

I’m good either way.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I like how former 27-year police officer now Florida Congresswoman Val Demings ripped Ohio Congressman Gym Jordan a new asshole today.

https://www.rawstory.com/val-demings-jim-jordan-hearing-video/

5
Gumbygirl

Val’s a little scary when she’s fired up. I wouldn’t mess with her.

2
King Hippo

Rep. Demings was someone on whom I had placed a “Diamond Joe’s VP selection” wager. She’s quite impressive.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Gym Jordan is such a piece of shit.

1
scotchnaut

Would love to hear what the rest of your family thinks about this.

1
Redshirt

Surprising they all agree with me, even the Trump voters. The general consensus is that him kneeling for 9.5 minutes shows he was intending to harm. At no time did he attempt to remove the knee to put Floyd in custody, which would’ve shown the defense was right and he was simply trying to restrain him.

Even my mom, the most brainwashed one, pointed out that putting a knee to one part of the neck would’ve blocked at least one of the carotid arteries, which means even if Floyd could breathe, his brain wouldn’t be getting sufficient oxygen so he would feel like he was suffocating and would put in at risk of passing out and dying. I didn’t even suggest this; she brought it up!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only thing I feel about this, in all honesty, is relief.

5
Viva La Tabula Raza

I remember watching the 2008 Prez election in tears and thinking, “Now this country will get it’s shit together, it’ll be a nice place to retire and grow old.” Hah. All my optimism slowly eroded over the next 8 years, and completely vanished when Trump was elected.
Today is a nice bright spot, but I don’t feel like it represents a tectonic shift in this country (hope I am wrong). Like another former president said, “Fool me twice, won’t get fooled again.”

5
Horatio Cornblower

Look, we’ve established a floor below which we will not tolerate police misconduct. Sure, that floor happens to be “murdering a handcuffed Black man by kneeling on his neck while three other cops hold him down and you’re too stupid to get up while someone videotapes you for over nine minutes from 8′ away” but goddammit it is a floor.

Now we just have to get some jacks in here and raise the floor in a maddeningly slow fashion, as the Good Lord decreed.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like this Super League went over as well as Congressman MT Greene’s America Fascist First Caucus.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I think I can say “what a fucking cunt” here, right?

3
Redshirt

What’s up with this site insulting cunts?

4
Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

6
Gumbygirl

Hell yes, 4/20!
https://youtu.be/n0nBqH17NEw

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Last night I told myself I wasn’t gonna edible this evening, but judicial events and today’s date might have me breaking that vow…

2
Gumbygirl

I am wayyy ahead of you! Gumby had a root canal today, painful for us both.

1
BugEyedBoo

Endodontists make insane money, and the good ones are worth every penny. A coworker was married to an endodontist, and he collected sports cars as a hobby.

I’ve had three root canals, and they were less painful than the cleaning that I had today.

Last edited 5 years ago by BugEyedBoo
2
Gumbygirl

Super deep cleanings are the worst. I demand sedation!

1
Gumbygirl

https://youtu.be/bm51ihfi1p4

1
BugEyedBoo

My endodontist is a firm believer in the power of anesthetic. My first one, he gives me a shot with this needle the size of a caulk gun, and says, “I’ll be back, tell me if your nose is numb.” He comes back and asks, “Is your nose numb?” I said, not especially. He hits me with caulk gun number two and wanders off. The whole right size of my head went numb. I didn’t feel a thing.

My endodontist also seems to have faith in his patients ability to self-medicate, sort of. He gives me a script for steroids. “Take this if it swell.” And a script for antibiotics. “Take this if it looks infected.” And 30 vicodin. “Take this if it hurts.”

Last edited 5 years ago by BugEyedBoo
2
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s been long enough that I can’t even remember when it happened, but sometime in the last 10 years or so I had to have an old root canal repaired. I remember that the endo guy was a retired Air Force dentist who had a scenic painting of the Philippines on the wall, we discussed our Clark Air Base memories while I got the caulk gun. I don’t even remember if it hurt, but I do remember that it was 1500 bucks. I should have asked him about his car collection.

1
Gumbygirl

Dental insurance is a fucking joke. Our “copay” is 800 bucks.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Expect a DM from Hippo in the near future asking for your endodontist’s number “for a friend”

2
litre_cola

Due to your post yesterday I got high and made tacos.

1
Gumbygirl

Yay! I had some nachos, that counts, I think.

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