We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have:

Copa América
Euro 2020
Concacaf Gold Cup
Tokyo Olympic Games
And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020!

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT TODAY!

Today, we are continuing the previews of all the Copa América countries as the Copa América starts on June 13, 2021 right after Euro 2020 starts.

Copa América will be broadcast in English on Fox Sports (FS1 and FS2) in the United States and on TSN in Canada. Univisión has the Spanish language rights in the US and RDS has the French language rights in Canada.

Today we look at Equator! I had no idea the line from one end of the flat earth to the other was a country, but here we go.

Fun Facts!

• The Equator is 40k long
• The Equator divides the flat earth from north and south.
• There are 11 countries they can choose  their players from (Sao Tome and Principe, Gabon, DRC, Republic of Congo, Uganda, Kenya, Somalis, Indonesia, Ecuador wait… shit, uhh, I uhh am now unprepared.

• Upon further examination Ecuador means “equator” in Spanish
• That flag looks a lot like its neighboUrs, I am not convinced this is a real country.
• The Galapagos islands are pretty cool. Now with new old tortoises!
• Ecuador has 4 distinct regions, the mountains, the coast, the amazon, and the Galapagos islands. HOW DIVERSE!
• Lots of chocolate and bananas in them there hills
• One of the most surprising Ecuador facts is that the country is home to the closest point on earth to space. Mount Chimborazo is the highest mountain on Earth… sort of. The Earth is not a perfect sphere, it bulges around the equator (arguably)… In fact, Ecuador sits right on the bulge (disagree). Ecuador’s highest mountain, Mount Chimborazo, at its peak is the furthest point from the Earth’s center. Although from sea level Mount Everest still takes the cake.

Team Schedule

They are playing in Brazil because I trust Bolsonaro more than any world leader in the world and he says the Rona doesn’t really exist….even though he has had it.

Ecuador v Columbia June 14

Ecuador v Venezuela June 21

Ecuador v Peru June 24

Ecuador v Brazil June 28

Best Result for “Hot Equator Food”

Cuy! Hell yes they eat Guinea Pig down there! Ecuadoreans eat Cuy because it was the main source of meat before cattle was introduced. It was an “An you fanceee” dish as it meant you could afford meat.

These are not our domesticated animals, they are bigger and the size of a rabbit. It’s taste is like chicken wings as it is usually done over a spit which differs from the Peruvian method which is to deep fry the Guinea Pig.

Litre, Have You Ever Been To This Country?

Nope, I have never been to South America. Mrs. Cola wants to go to the Galapagos islands for a week when we retire so I guess I am on my way in 15 years.

Why You Should Root For Equator

• You enjoy antagonizing flat earthers on the interwebs
• You eat anything put in front of you
• You are a cocaine snob and prefer the Ecuadorian brand

Why You Should Not Root For Equator

• You know that it is pointless
• You hate plucky underdogs
• You think the Galapagos islands should have new condo communities and fuck that tortoise.
• The number 1 song there right now is a Korean boy band called Monsta X.

Prediccion

There is a reason I did not profile any of their players. I do not recognize a single one. They will probably beat Venezuela and lose to the rest of them. It is a bottom feeder nation in South America. In fact if you put the best footballers from the 11 countries above not named Columbia and Brazil, you would have a shitty football team.