I meant to draft a full DONKS WOO!!! (Now With Teddy Ballgame) preview. But I had a 48-hour migraine from hayell, and I can barely string two sentences together.
Pictured is my record signing, $187M (on tha muthafuckin’ cooooppp) for a 24-year old, dominant keeper. I am immature, and the phrasing made me laugh. It also evoked laughter from Imaginary Maple Pal Litre, so I share it with you.
Guess who was the player chosen to welcome him (automatically by the CPU) to the squad? Our openly gay centre forward, of course! Briefly, we had three gays in the XI. I am a progressive unded Pretend Football Manager. But the other two fucked off home to Spain, after 12+ seasons in Manchester.
Assuming my brain cooperates enough, I will toggle among 2110-11, HAIL GAMBLOR, and maybe making MOAR progress in Rick Perlstein’s Reaganland. Maybe I will start Book 3 of the Gereon Rath/Babylon Berlin series. I left the house yesterday, so I sure don’t see doing that again.
Also, I learned this week that my ex-wife and one of the twins (the two folk now living outside of Boulder, CO) have been summoned by Delta Force! Yes, only the oldest sibling – the one, ironically, who lives in a redneck area and has – by far – the most interpersonal contact…is the only human in the family not to catch one of the #NuAIDS waves. But the CO branch of the family was already (all of us are now, and have been since like May) fully vacinnated, which is a worry (for society writ large).
So yeah, the stress. Plus it was so goddamned hot yesterday that my A/C couldn’t keep up all the way. NEVAR went beyond 77 indoors, but still. Another worry.
I am quite excite for the 2021 Donks. Options and competition at QB should help, and neither dude is a dickwad about things. Maybe it all comes together. Maybe not. But July and August are for unwarranted hope, and a renewed commitment to surviving until Most Glorious September. FITBAW!!!!!!!
A one hit wonder covers a song from another one hit wonder-here’s The Flying Lizard’s take on a Barret Strong tune-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W25_jgiY51I&ab_channel=fritz51349
Deborah Evans-Stickland’s grand-niece might just be Florence Shaw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyjuJ6jLsxA&ab_channel=KEXP
My ONE would-be-successful bet is in the FIFTEENTH goddamned minute of injury time.
Corey Connors-is he a Canadian golfer tied for 4th place at The British Open and/or an older classmate of Malcolm In The Middle that touched him inappropriately in ‘A Very Special Episode”?
Maybe…he IS the boss of him now?
Brewing up another batch of rosemary simple syrup for Cocktail Experimentation Hour(s).
Also going to make some cardamom syrup, too, but that needs a couple of days to steep. Have to plan one’s drinking in advance!
Do you have enough street cred to consider it si-zirrup?
No. No, I do not.
Apparently there’s a Texas monkeypox now??
I’ve just been calling him “Ted Cruz” all these years.
Oh, see, that’s “Monkeyfucker.” Or is that Abbott? It’s getting so hard to tell all these monkeyfuckers in my state apart.
Florida, meanwhile, has Congressman Minorfucker.
[wonders why he has a raging hard-on completely out of the blue]
-Joe Rogan
Hey Mr. Balls, let me know if you’re interested but Pedro has a fucking world class barbecue joint. I’m here to testify.
God damn!
Just demolished some ribs and brisket and I’m officially doing nothing else of substance today.
That’s as good a plate of barbecue as you can get anywhere.
Wait, which one? I’m in Pedro a surprisingly large amount of time these days…
It’s called Whiskey Flats. It’s on 34th and Pacific. Simple little roadside joint with outdoor seating. Fuck me, it’s epic. Smoked on site and sliced to order. Parking is a little tricky but it’s so worth it.
Right across the street from Fort Mac, huh? Nice!
Directly across the street.
“Oosthuizen for Izod” could be an ad on tv here or a campaign slogan for a Lord Emperor election on another planet.
Shouldn’t the rough be called ‘the foulway’? People don’t think these things through. smh.
Did 4 miles in way-too-hot weather. The goal is to eventually run for two hours straight and then Bam!, there’s a marathon in the bin.
I got up, cleaned and dusted the bedroom, cleaned the bathroom, kitchen, dining room and living room. THEN I did enough yard work to fill up one if those big ass lawn and garden trash bags. THEN I washed my car and now I think I’ve earned a big ass plate of barbecue.
Hey Hippo, what variant of COVID are they up to in 2110? I assume they ran out of Greek letters a while ago — did they start naming them all after Republican politicians and Fox News hosts? “Shit, did you hear, Bob got Tucker COVID.” “Wow, that one’s spreading even faster than DeSantis COVID did last year!”
Combo ’em, you can honoUr that Revenge of the Nerds frat with Alpha Beta!
Really disturbing how many people i see on social media saying how much they love DeSantis. This country is fucked.
I keep saying that with our combined wealth we can buy an island and all just go there
I’m in. BUT only if there is a mini trainline connecting all of our houses. I’m not budging on this or taking any questions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt7cCZv_jgY&ab_channel=ThebusofdoomFSX
Sold.
Hold up. Why the fuck is a furry getting on the train at 0:18??
Because his car is in the shop?
He said he would not be taking questions
In BC Dick country, ’tis very smoky and not the kind of smoke we usually inhale. So many fires, but its ok climate change aint real.
If you had “6 days before” on your Olympic coronavirus bingo card, you win!
https://twitter.com/TheAthletic/status/1416414711151800324?s=19
Delta Force FTW!!
This shit is beyond embarrassing. Japan is already losing money over this. Nobody wants to see the Hunger Games version of the Olympics and there won’t be fans in the stands.
Stop already.
I LOVE watching the Olympics, but this is insane
That Jordan golfer guy reminds me of a Mike Tyson PSA-“Don’t forget to have your peths spieth or neutered!”
Oof! 36 year-old Ted Ginn Jr. tries to drop the mic (pretending it was a ball, I guess?) by saying he’s retiring ‘on my own terms’. Nothing like going out on top after a 3 catch, 40 yard season last year.
I’m assuming that he injured himself dropping said mic and the rest of the announcement will take place in 4 to 6 weeks
Brasil of Balls is playing, so at least there’s some GAMBLOR to HAIL
Probably humidity-dependent but if I can get the house to 83, I consider it chilly.
When I was having serious a/c issues here a few summers ago, it went to 84 once. Like being spit-roasted (in the chicken nae sexual way)
Blaxito turns three today. Very proud day for me.
Congratulations! When do the strippers arrive?
Congrats. If they make it three years you can officially call yourself a parent.
Congrats getting him there! The next year is way easier.
/it is but different.
Only another year or so before he finds out you’re not the smartest, funniest, strongest man in the world. Enjoy!
Uhh i am 45 and still think Blax/Sill is the smartest, funniest, strongest man in the world. Next thing your going to tell me is that Mary Magdeleine didn’t have an immaculate conception.
Bitch set me up! – Joseph of Nazareth
Golf announcers could get to the next level by referring to the defending champion as Fat Drunken Irishman Shane Lowry as though that were his full name.
Mackenzie Hughes, a Canadian golfer and/or Venture Capital Firm, is in 12th place!
Any relation to Spuds?
Spuds Hughes is a god damn drunk and he always will be.
Then he’s definitely a Hughes. ( I am a Hughes)
Hey, the British Open is on-it’s the only time of the year you hear the word, ‘fescue’.
Is that a combo of felch and rescue?
“Fescue, fescme… fesc it together, that’s the way it should be.”
-Lionel Ritchie, singing The British Open’s anthem
It’s the “Pine Straw” of Scotland.
I purchased many pallets of fescue for a house we built years ago. Turns out the guy I bought them from stole them from a highway project in Florida. I had a hot lawn!
It was cheap, I regret nothing!
Fesc me? Hey, fescue, buddy! And fesc ya mother too!
(I’m sure your mother is a lovely woman and I take it back)
She is not. Keep going.
Fair enough. I do not take it back then!