INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are hard at work in their office.  And this time they’re actually working!  One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is seated behind his desk, tapping away at a laptop.  The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is standing behind him, occasionally making quiet suggestions and gesturing at the screen.  Both are wearing N95 air filtration masks. An unfamiliar figure is lounging on the couch, tossing a football to himself and catching it expertly. 

COLE BEASLEY: You know, I wasn’t so sure about getting into bed with Hollywood types, but you guys are all right.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [slightly muffled due to his mask] Cole, do I look like a beautiful French blonde with a big ass and…wait…

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: [not looking away from the screen] Try again.

RTD: …with vanilla tits that taste like…[stops]…DAMNIT…

DTZM: Just start over.

RTD: [takes a breath] Cole, do I look like a beautiful blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream?

COLE BEASLEY: Huh?

RTD: I said, do I look like a beautiful blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream?

COLE BEASLEY: [sits up, alarmed] The fuck? You better ain’t be tryin’ to get me into none of that gay shit! I told you…

DTZM: [soothingly, still without looking away from the screen] He’s trying to quote from True Romance.  You should see the film, Cole, there’s some scenes in it you’d probably enjoy.

RTD: Oh, like the one where Dennis Hopper explains why Sicilians have such dark skin?

DTZM: That, and the one where Christian Slater goes into downtown Detroit and shoots a pimp named Drexl in the face.

COLE BEASLEY: Hot damn that does sound good.

DTZM: Anyhow, what he’s saying, Cole, is that you’re gonna find that Hollywood is full of people you’re going to want to get into bed with.  Scarlett Johannsen, for one.  You’d get into bed with her, right?

COLE BEASLEY: Hell yeah I would.  I’d crawl through an end zone full of broken glass just to…

RTD: [holds up a hand] Please, please, we don’t need details.

COLE BEASLEY: You fellas can introduce me to her?

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY exchange a hearty laugh.

RTD: Of course, of course we can introduce you.

DTZM: We’re good friends of hers.

RTD: Very good friends.

DTZM: But let’s get back to work.  I’ve been, um…let’s say formatting the script that you brought in, and I think you’ve really got something here.

RTD: We’d like you to sign on as an executive producer.

COLE BEASLEY: What’s that mean?

DTZM: It means you have a financial stake in the production.  It means that you, personally, have the privilege of investing in the film and then you’ll receive a share of the gross proceeds.

RTD: Net proceeds.

DTZM: Net proceeds, of course, what was I thinking.

COLE BEASLEY: So y’all need me to write you a big check.

RTD: Absolutely.  That’s what being an executive producer means.

COLE BEASLEY: And then I get to direct and stuff?

DTZM: Oh, goodness, goodness no.  We’ll get a professional for that.

RTD: What you’ve got here, Cole, is known as a passion project.

DTZM: It means that you’re too emotionally invested in the film to make rational decisions.

RTD: Which is where we come in! We’ll handle all of that stuff from this point forward.

COLE BEASLEY: So…what does being an executive producer actually mean?

DTZM: Like we said, it means that you’re going to providing some of the financing.

RTD: And you’ll be listed in the credits…

DTZM: Not as an executive producer, though, you have to be a member of SAG to be eligible for that.

RTD: [furrows brow] You do?

DTZM: [gives him a look] Yeah, it’s part of the new bylaws.

RTD: Oh, right, right.  And we’ll be looking to you for input on what…well, on what the target audience finds funny.

COLE BEASLEY: I told you guys that this isn’t a comedy.

DTZM: See, like we told you, you’re too emotionally invested in the project to think rationally about it. A comedy is the best way to get your message across.

COLE BEASLEY: But I need for people to understand the lab leak theory is real and that China…

RTD: [waves a hand] Yes, yes, and the best way to reach people is through humor.  Take Robocop, or Starship Troopers.

COLE BEASLEY: Those movies were comedies?

DTZM: Well…not exactly.

RTD: They were what’s called subversive.

COLE BEASLEY: What the hell’s that mean? That sounds like Critical Race Theory shit to me, which is really just a cover for the Jews that…

DTZM: Cole, Cole, you don’t need to tell us the details of the conspiracy, we understand it perfectly well.

RTD: We’re on your side, remember?

DTZM: But by rewriting this script as a comedy, we’re finally going to turn the tables on them, and we’re going to their own weapons to do it!

COLE BEASLEY: [lightbulb goes off] Oh.  You guys are pretty smart.

RTD: We sure are!

DTZM: But to do that, the first thing we’re going to need to do is some revisions on your script.  So let’s get to work, and maybe we can listen to a little music while we’re at it. [raises Apple Watch to his mouth] Siri, play me a cover of something.

SIRI: Playing “Cover of the Rolling Stone” by Dr. Hook…

DTZM: Siri, cancel.  Siri, play a cover of something, preferably that’s a big departure from the original.  How about…”All Along the Watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix?

Today’s theme is: Revisions. We’re looking for covers of songs, but more specifically we’re looking for cover versions that are a substantial departure from the style of the original.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuZZl35rBaCK” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Have at it!