Request Line: Weekend At Zuernie’s – Part 4 (Wardrobe)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are still – unbelievably – hard at work in their office.  One – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is standing in front of a rack of clothing, pawing through a series of Hawaiian shirts and pulling the occasional one out to set aside into a growing pile.  The other – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is seated at the desk with a box full of sunglasses, trying each of them on in turn and inspecting himself in a mirror flecked with white powder on his desk.  A third person in the office is standing very stiffly with his arms spread wide, looking extremely uncomfortable as an androgynous-looking fourth person – a TAILOR – measures his inseam.  The TAILOR finishes up, makes a final note in a little book, nods to the producers, and departs.

COLE BEASLEY: [looking after the departed TAILOR] Was that a boy or a girl?

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: [without looking up] Yes.

COLE BEASLEY: Kinda feel a little violated.  Like I need to take a shower, ya know?

RTD: Agreed.

DTZM: Yes, it would be excellent if you would do that.

RTD: Make it a regular thing, even.

COLE BEASLEY: [settles back down on the couch and resumes tossing the football to himself] I can’t believe how much work goes into making a movie.  You guys have been pickin’ out clothes for two straight days now.

DTZM: And it’s not even a period piece.

RTD: I mean it’s sort of a period piece.

COLE BEASLEY: Wait, what?

RTD: Fashion in Cape Cod hasn’t really advanced beyond the eighties.

DTZM: Cole, you should hang onto some of this stuff after we wrap, it’ll be an upgrade.

COLE BEASLEY: [looks himself over] What’s wrong with my clothes?

RTD: [smiles gently] I think maybe it’s time to retire those shorts.

DTZM: Are those things made out of…is that…canvas?

COLE BEASLEY: Does burlap count as canvas?

RTD: Let’s say yes.  Anyhow…[holds up a pair of shirts towards DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS]…these are my favorites so far, what do you think?

— [door flies open] —

DTZM: Surfin’ Jack!

RTD: Oh good, you got our message.  Thanks for coming by.

JACK DEL RIO: This better be important, I had to skip Mike Lindell’s final presentation for this.

COLE BEASLEY: Oh, was he finally going to produce the evidence?

JACK DEL RIO: He was!  And this time it’s gonna be the real thing.  Reinstatement should happen in two weeks.

COLE BEASLEY: I thought it was gonna happen today!

JACK DEL RIO: No cause they need final confirmation of the RKM packets from the routers.

COLE BEASLEY: From Arizona?

JACK DEL RIO: And the ones from Wisconsin, too.

COLE BEASLEY: Oh, I can’t wait.

JACK DEL RIO: It’s gonna be so good.  

JACK DEL RIO puts his hands on his hips and looks around the office.

JACK DEL RIO: Actually, I’ve been meaning to drop by and talk to you two.  I’m still waiting on my residuals for “That’s My Raiders!”

DTZM: [deflecting] Aren’t we all, buddy.

RTD: Hey, what’s with the mask?  I thought you were telling people that COVID is a hoax?

JACK DEL RIO: It is!  But now I gotta deal with you Hollywood fuckers who took that [makes air quotes gesture] “vaccine” shedding all those Wuhan virus particles.

DTZM: Particles of a virus that’s a hoax.

JACK DEL RIO: That’s right.

JACK DEL RIO breaks out coughing.  DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY hurriedly don their own masks.

RTD: You know, you’re right, maybe it’s safer if everybody just wears a mask.

DTZM: Can’t hurt, right?

JACK DEL RIO: Why the hell am I here, anyhow?

RTD: We gotta get you fitted for costuming.

DTZM: [punches intercom] Traycee, can you call Adrian and ask him…uh…her? [glances at RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY, who shrugs] to come back – we’ve got a little more work for them to do.

RTD: In the meantime, why don’t we listen to a little music?

DTZM: Ooh, good idea.  Let’s do songs about clothing and accessories.

RTD: Sounds good.  But who plays music about that kind of stuff?

DTZM: [holds Apple Watch up to his mouth] SIRI, play anything by ZZ Top.

Today’s theme is: Clothing and Accesories! We’re looking for songs about clothing, accessories, or fashion in general.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNd!3W4!5h and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  

ED. NOTE: Did nobody get the puzzle song of “7+4_11uV!a” last week?  It was a tough one.  The answer was “11_lluvia” which of course refers to the 11th month – November Rain. 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Anthony In TX

I hope I’m not too late on this one. Spoon is one of my all-time favorite bands (and hey, they’re from Texas!), and this is one of my all-time favorite songs from them.

https://youtu.be/ITUgl71cJ2U

Warthog

Nanci Griffith died today. She saw me through some hard times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhKamjavG04

Last edited 3 years ago by Warthog
clint greasewood

I read that as Nancy Grace at first and suddenly started to be overwhelmed with joy.

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Phenomenal late round value if I say so myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMstTM01m28&ab_channel=Taco-Topic

Dunstan

Super duper!

King Hippo

This may or may not count, but I fookin’ love this tune:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z7fV-wB2z8

Gumbygirl

I have one like that too. A matter of interpretation?
https://youtu.be/6bmruh9tKxM

Dunstan
Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
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Dunstan

Cherry wine and celibacy sounds like a terrible combination to me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWZisnZ-RGE

Horatio Cornblower

You had me at “terrible combination” and “Jermaine” and “Stewart”

scotchnaut

Truth Biscuit sighting at Bills/Lions tilt.

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw someone posted My Morning Jacket, so I assume band names are fair game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf53Pg2AkdY

BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

RTD didn’t get ALL of the ZZ.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYza5pY0zck

Don T

Bud – Real Men of Genius: Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer
I loved those ads
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gOgQcyklEBc

Dunstan

Weren’t they originally titled “Real American Heroes,” and then 9/11 happened and only cops and firefighters could be heroes, so they renamed it?

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

Heartbreakers keyboard guy released a solo album a couple years ago…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ2wrA9W9yA

Viva La Tabula Raza
Don T

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs – Saco azul
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1ABoOn3dZoc

Don T

Bad Bunny & Farruko – La cartera
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ-JbPVWskE

BeefReeferLives

Bit of a stretch, but I think a “bumbo klaat” might be classified as an accessory… (Mostly posted for the guitar solo at about 3:10.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7mQaWYV2wY

BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza
BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

Late to this as usual. Scroll through did not reveal the presence of this one. Hope I didn’t miss it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqXrAHuLksU

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not sure why only the link is showing and not the “thumbnail.” Link seems to work though. To save you the bother, it’s Kinks Dedicated Follower of Fashion.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

That’s happened to me too. (Like last week with “This Note’s For You). Video played fine, but just would not embed for some reason….

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll try once more with a different version. The Zappa up above embedded, let’s see!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxYGOSSj9A0

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess the trick is to not have the “https://” appended to the front of the address.

scotchnaut

No matter your attire, Rod Stewart is here to make you feel good about yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQqNUwNNkTo&ab_channel=MichaelTomlinson

scotchnaut

A song referencing the Maple Leafs and it doesn’t suck balls? “Impossible!”, you say. “Possible”, I say.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-t8W4X8Obo&ab_channel=GordonYYZ

BeefReeferLives

So, any reason why when I try to post this (I lopped of the prefix): “.youtube.com/watch?v=1v1iZUiBJiQ”

It puts my comment in moderation?

BeefReeferLives

Thanks, RTD. Thought I had crossed some line or posted too much or something…

scotchnaut

A. It’s a random thing that the Russian bots do to the site here and there.

B. Have you considered not masturbating so much?

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

So, apparently the site does not want anything I post from Booker T & the MGs… Weird.

BeefReeferLives
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Anthony In TX

OUTSTANDING pick.