How does one follow up Maestro’s glorious post? One does not, one simply distracts, is how one goes about it. (well, maybe one does a little clickbaity thingy) So here goes…

Does the bad news involve chicken wings? Why yes, it does. One of the many and varied things I do at worky-work is purchase proteins in large quantities. One of those items is 40 pound boxes of said wings. So back at the end of June the cost was a mere $99 and everyone was happy. The price has been climbing since then and will be sitting at $170 by the end of September. No, wings won’t disappear but you can probably count on your local hole-in-the-wall cancelling that magical night that is devoted to this particular food stuff. I told you it was bad news.

On To Football Stuff! [peruses headlines] There is very, very little football stuff going on right now.

-James Washington (who?) wants to be traded.

-Honey Badger wants a contract.

-Justin Fields will play on Saturday

Am I wrong in thinking that there should be more going on than this? We’re so close to the start of the season!

To The Game!

Pats/Eagles:

-Devonta Debut! He might just see his first action tonight! Philly fans are sorta curious and sorta, “No! He might get hurt!”. I guess they’re just practicing for later on in the season. But hell, if he does make it through the year there’s really no one out there to really compete for grabs is there? He might just be the first Eagle to go for a 1,000 yards since Jeremy Maclin did it in 2014. That’s a long time.

-Speaking of shitty teams with pathetic wr corps in this here passing league, the Pats signed Agholor for 22 million bucks to shore up that unit. Nelson had the one good (for him) season with Vegas and is now cashing in. Jeebers, does Bill ever have a blind spot at this position. Well, maybe N’Keal Harry will come around…

-I sorta feel sorry for Jalen Hurts because to me he’s all alone on an island out there and just doesn’t seem to have the support of front office. He’ll be discarded so fast if he struggles and if that happens Good Old Joe Flacco will come to the rescue and reduce the number of plays the O can run by a factor of 5.

-When the heckfire is Ertz getting traded? It’s all that I’ve heard since the end of last season, over and over again.

-Looking for that deep sleeper that has been tearing it up at camp? Maybe Quez Watkins is your man. He caught a 79 yard TD last week and has speed to burn. I think last year’s early-season darling that sunk fast-Travis Fulgham-is dead meat. Whispers and grumbling about an unhealthy work ethic follows him around wherever he goes.

So that’s all there is. If you’re doing takeout tonight, consider the humble chicken wing before they’re all gone.