Your Sunday Night Exhibition Football Open Thread

Shall we try again? I was putting this together, talking about various weathering when the power went out at my place. Shall we?

As Ida gives Mississippi and environs the old ‘what for’, a tornado warning was given for my area here in the boonies. Growing up, this simply was not a thing but all things change, including long-term climate conditions/patterns! Don’t fuss, the deck chairs were (once again) evacuated to a safe space and were given new socks and a warm meal.

-Jax handed the Cowboys a humbling that they will not acknowledge. Hey, it’s preseason. Lawrence’s prodigious forehead was 11-12 for 139 and 2 TD’s. Did he do it vs. the #1’s? I didn’t watch but if that were the case Horatio is in for tears this year if a rank rook can slice and dice Jerry’s minions like that.

Thoughts and Prayers Don’t Work!

Many thanks to those on the site that pointed out yesterday that JK Dobbins almost certainly had an ACLU tear. While there were no prayers on my part there were thoughts of, it’s just a bad-looking sprain. All for naught. He done. Congrats to those that got Gus Edwards on the cheap-he’s my pick for a potential league winner.

-According to rumor, the Jets swapped out Lawson’s. Looking for a replacement for Carl at edge they found (courtesy of the Texans) a Shaq to replace him. Another smart-ish move that helps coach Saleh-what’s going on?

To The Games!

Vegas/San Fran:

Jimmy G started but Trey came in right quick on the first series. Controversy?  Nope, Jimmy was right back in. Lance played well but did dink and dunk for the most part. Niners up 20-3 right now.

Fins/Bengals:

Tua out and Burrow is in, for all of one pass. Cincy is up by 6.

Giants/Pats:

I read the comments on a Pats blog-no, not the one on the Stormfront site but does it matter? The first one that caught my eye was, “I truly wish to God that Cam was not representing the team that I love and follow”. The next was, “I’m following Tom and Tampa until the Pats move on from Newton”. This was in one thread!

Browns/Falcons:

This is the final game until Thursday the 9th. Savor it. Baker and a light dusting of other starters are scheduled to play.

There may be some other things to entertain you. Are The Simpsons still on?

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Gumbygirl

I am looking forward to my comfy bed! See ya tomorrow

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Anthony In TX

Okay, but… but… but… this can’t be true!

https://twitter.com/lukezim/status/1432174488301539328?s=20

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

montythisseemsstrangetome

I want a cookie.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Why the fuck is Drew Brees in the booth with Cris and Al? His old team didn’t even play this weekend.

Anthony In TX

What a shocker that Drew Brees thinks Justin Fields needs to sit for awhile to learn the game but Trevor Lawrence is ready to go

Mr. Ayo

Holy shit, the Collinsworths are multiplying.

herodotus450

I know doctors say to eat a pound and a half of cheese a day, but somedays I just can’t eat that much.

litre_cola

You sir are not from the midwest apparently!

TheRevanchist

That’s why you eat 5 small meals a day, with about 6 Oz of cheese per meal. In terms of quesadillas and string cheese, it won’t seem as much once you get that routine down.

litre_cola

Babybels are you every day, all day friend.

Dunstan

Those eight glasses of gravy a day can be tough, too.

BugEyedBoo

Ivermectin will get things moving along. Ask for it by neighhh-m,

Gumbygirl

My sisters in law are on their way home, we can leave now. Thank Christ. They don’t have a single comfortable piece of furniture in their house. My back is over it!

litre_cola

Did you edible?

Gumbygirl

I had to drive back to Big Bear. That road is a bit challenging at night. But I’m home now, so I smoked it up. How was Van Gogh? Still crazy?

King Hippo

I was married for like 13 years. We never made “vacation friends” and I would have 100% suspected dirty swingers anyway. Is this an actual thing, or is Hollywoo just trying to make fetch happen?

Redshirt

This is the first time I’ve scene the Falcons new jerseys. Since when did they move to the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport?

Anthony In TX

I’m guessing you haven’t seen their black-to-red gradient jersey…
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King Hippo

Matty Ice turned into baggage carousel so gradually, I barely even noticed!

Redshirt

I have no words.

Anthony In TX

It’s like they said, “We just don’t look enough like an Arena League team. How do we remedy that?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like to imagine my artwork was an inspiration to them.
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King Hippo

Grandson Noodles had a boo-boo get infected, which was shaved, cleaned, and sutured last night. Upon bringing him home around noon today, I learned he was a ninja.

Took off his cone collar while still in his carrier, then again when I turned my head as he ate dinner. So, I guess I will just be watching him 24/7 until his sutures come out. That cone shit don’t play.

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like he has evolved opposable thumbs, this could be trouble!

King Hippo

He took much MOAR BLOOD than Kruger (the more skittish one in general) ever did about taking his pain pill, too.

I was all like, this Gabapentan, ninja, is we even related???

Doktor Zymm

That’s like horses and fly spray, they don’t know what’s good for them, smh

Redshirt

Our cat had the same thing. We put the cone on upside down. She spent five minutes trying to remove it and then 25 minutes standing in shock.

montythisseemsstrangetome

O God No, Chucklefuck Collinsworth. I renew my decision not to watch football.

Anthony In TX

Just mute the TV and put on the Stop Making Sense or Singles soundtrack

montythisseemsstrangetome

You have good ideas. You should run for office.

King Hippo

My alternate is finding JUST the right low volume. I can hear the ambient noise (I assume greater ATL hobos getting out of the rain) and make out most of what Al says. But Cris fades into background murmur.

I do plan to boycott Opening Night, howevs.

Anthony In TX

I’m barely qualified to work in the leasing office I’m in now!

Anthony In TX

Every year Dean Pees shows up on my TV screen at some point and every year I say, “Heh heh… Pees.”

King Hippo

SASSY REF

montythisseemsstrangetome

Ha ha remember that time Eli beat the Pats in the Suberb Owl and then that time he did it again? Remember? Do ya?

Redshirt

Somewhere Phil Simms is crying for being forgotten.

Anthony In TX

I thought Brock Osweiler retired?

litre_cola

Mike Glennon?

Anthony In TX

It’s the Giants, so don’t rule out a literal giraffe.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s a neck-and-neck going down to the finish line.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If anyone here has Amazon Prime, the Greatest Rock and Roll Movie ever filmed in the history of movies, is currently available as part of your subscription. That would be Talking Heads Stop Making Sense.

litre_cola

Oooh, the Singles soundtrack is pretty damn good. Movie was very good too.

litre_cola

There is so much good on this one but this Pumpkins tune is my fave by them all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N66Ki1iMMjY

King Hippo

True, because this was their only good tune!

/in my Philistine opinion

litre_cola

Siamese Dream was a pretty good album but then again you like The Cold War Kids.

King Hippo

CWK and Pumpkins are our mirror image twin bands!

litre_cola

Heroin addicts for both?

King Hippo

I always think of Angry Chair for that

montythisseemsstrangetome

Vanilla Sky had a great soundtrack.

litre_cola

Holy shit it sure did!

Anthony In TX

/sets down boom box and starts playing a sick beat

Viva La Tabula Raza

I have been grooving on this shit for more than half my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wke3tdWrd3k

Anthony In TX

It is truly a stone-cold classic (that song in particular AND the movie overall).

litre_cola

What if you show a pic of John Elway?
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montythisseemsstrangetome

Must be a pic of you AND John Elway.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Meh, maybe I won’t watch football again this season after all.

Redshirt

BREAKING NEWS: A hurricane just reversed the flow of the g__ damn MISSISSIPPI RIVER but Global Warming is still a myth.

Dunstan

I can tell you’ve left the GOP, because you’re not familiar with the new talking point. Now it’s “of course global warming is happening, but it’s too late to do anything about it NOW.”

montythisseemsstrangetome

“Also Biden and Harris should clearly resign over it.”

herodotus450

Also we can’t raise the debt ceiling because of Biden’s disatrous departure from Tajikistan.

Anthony In TX

“Can’t believe Biden is just letting hurricane Ida happen on his watch. Wake up, Sleepy Joe! Come out of the basement!”

Redshirt

“No Hurricanes happened under Trump, anyone who says otherwise is deranged!”

montythisseemsstrangetome

Didn’t he want to nuke the hurricane? This was the point when The Onion could no longer compete with reality.

Anthony In TX

Yep. It was one of his “I’m not a pants-shittingly stupid moron, I’m just making suggestions!” moments

Anthony In TX

“You have Trump derangement syndrome!”
– people who have spent the last 6+ years being obsessed with Trump and convinced that he’s everything he obviously is not

Anthony In TX

I thought it was “global warming is happening, but it’s cyclical and not man-made, so there’s nothing we need to do!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Didn’t I read recently that the Gulf Stream is shutting down as well?

Anthony In TX

Didn’t you hear? Texas froze in February, so clearly global warming doesn’t exist! Checkmate, libs!

litre_cola

In all of 2020 we had 3 days over 30 C, in June 2021 we had 14… BUT DIG UP MORE OIL SANDS!!!!!!

Anthony In TX

“Do you believe the so-called ‘climate scientists’ or my uncle on Facebook?”

montythisseemsstrangetome

“Seemed nice in Cancun.”
– Ted C., Senator

Anthony In TX

I have met Heidi Cruz and can confirm that she is every bit as awful as you imagine she is.
She’s a perfect match for that feckless limp-dick shit-bag.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Like seeks like.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Burrow hurt yet? Keeper deadline is tomorrow, still haven’t decided him or Hurts.

Doktor Zymm

Every Burrow Hurts sometimes

Redshirt

Burrow’s still healthy-ish…but Chase as a case of the dropsies, and the offensive line is still blocking like Burrow makes jokes in the huddle about plowing all their female relatives, both living and deceased. Don’t waste a high pick and have another option at the ready.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s like a 9 for Burrow or a 10 for Hurts

litre_cola

The Eagles will be the worst team in the NFC. Minshew will get time.

Mr. Ayo

Well, he is a dick.

Redshirt

I still continue to admire the Patriots shoulder decal choice of dark blue stripe surrounded by two dark red stripes, a combination that could cause eye strain when looked at. That’s strategery.

Redshirt

If I was him, I’d do my best to get a turnover and then pull a Jim Marshall while Deion Sanders-ing my way into my own endzone.

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Redshirt

Bengals going for the win?! What is this?!

Redshirt

I admire the message sent to the players, but they should’ve given Austin Seibert a chance to show off for the other 31 teams.

herodotus450

Yes Joogle, I meant the 1936 version movie of Palm Springs, “directed by Aubrey Scotto which features an early performance by David Niven. “

Gumbygirl

That sounds good to me! I love old movies.

Viva La Tabula Raza

MIA-CIN pretty interesting.

Col. Duke LaCross

Chef’s kiss…

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Anthony In TX

How does anyone who’s been on the internet for more than 10 minutes fall for that?

Gumbygirl

I hope that’s the last thing he thought of before he shuffled off this mortal coil.”Shoegaze Socialist owned my dumb ass_____________________.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

What’s this new policy of actually calling penalties on New England? That’s not fayuh!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

comments on a Pats blog

I’ve been a Pats fan for over 50 years, and I still won’t go on a Pats blog.

Gumbygirl

Hmmmmm, what is it about Cam they just don’t like? Is it because he’s tall?

Anthony In TX

I can’t qwhite put my finger on it…

litre_cola

In Cola family news, we will be getting a new pug. Name suggestions?

Doktor Zymm

Pugglestein von Squishyface

Redshirt

millilitre_cola?

Anthony In TX

“MotherFUCKER,” because that’s what you’re going to say every time it pisses on the rug

litre_cola

Hardwood floors!

Dunstan

Pugnacious D

Gumbygirl

I call all of them Puggsley. And they all answer to it!

Doktor Zymm

Puggy Sue, Doodlepug, CBGB Ompug, Chugapug

litre_cola

I do like Doodlepug!

Anthony In TX

CBGB Ompug is INCREDIBLE.

Dunstan

Hairy Cola

Gumbygirl

Pepe LePug

litre_cola

I actually flew that one past my wife earlier ha! Paco was deemed better.

Mr. Ayo

Rug Pug

herodotus450

“Trey Lance” is the name that Poseidon chooses when he takes human form and thinks he’s blending in.

Anthony In TX

“Trey Lance” is what Zeus says every time he bangs a Greek virgin while in the form of a swan.