High Expectations in L.A. — A 2021 NFL Football Rams Preview

Las Vegas is really just a broke-ass exburb of Los Angeles so, in that regard, I’m happy to consider myself a hometowner (more than DTZM anyways) to be season previewing this 2021 RAMMIT squad.

Oh haha, all the Angeloeños here scoff with the self-awareness of some kid in Long Island declaring his home as the Center of the Universe, everyone wants to be like LA and now we get to be celebrated for having the top team in the NFC West. Great! Let’s grab some Shakey’s and a Dodger cap before we rev up the comment section here for a barrage of, “Oh sure BUT YOU REALLY GOTTA LIVE HERE TO GET IT” humblebrags.

No. LA has great weather and is a desirable distance from the ocean. After that, it’s just a ton of people who don’t seem to understand that it’s actually possible to have manageable traffic when you don’t design your roadway infrastructure to be gridlocked from day one. I don’t say this rip on any of you fine LA folk — it IS impossible to do anything about the traffic in SoCal — but when people talk about Californians bringing their bullshit to other states that don’t want it, this is the tangible things we’re talking about (also some people hate the way you all vote but, I dunno, Reagan seems to have done a lot of good for rich white men so I’m not going at y’all there).

I mean, your state is the fifth largest economy in the world. That’s too big to function effectively. You’re all being priced out of living in your communities because you refuse to put in place any sort of measure that leverages the global desire for your land to subsidize the people (and voters) who actually live there. That’s a not-diversified spending plan. Worst of all, you people let the most despicable people who do nothing but rip on your state STILL BE GOVERNOR AND ELOPE THERE. I mean, you all make up about the worst kind of communists if you won’t control your borders better. Actually, the worst communist would be multi-billionaire Rams owner Stan Kroenke.

And so now that’s we’re talking about the Rams, feel free to put down your surfboards and boomboxes playing Red Hot Chili Peppers, LA [DFO]ers, and try to keep up.

The 2020 Rams went 10-6 behind the leagues top-rated defense — anchored by the league’s best player in Aaron Donald (I don’t care that PFF put him #3) — and a sub-elite quarterback in Jared Goff. They won their wildcard game against Seattle before losing handily to Green Bay in the divisional round. They gave up 484 yards in that performance so, as we get to the big offseason move of swapping QBs with Detroit to bring Matt Stafford to the City of Angels, there’s no need for LA readers to put down their latest $16 health shake to complain that the defense was playing with some serious injuries because that is already quite believable, even to us who aren’t Coastal Elites.

But to say Detroit and RAMMIT swapped QBs is a little misleading. LA wanted out of Goff so bad that they sweetened the deal for a 33 year old sack-pad by tossing in two firsts and a third for the Lions. Kind of like how Californians want out of those property taxes so bad that they….blah blah blah, blah blah.

So the ’21 Rams are in win-now mode. The defense is expected to again be a top-5 unit with CB Jalen Ramsey, Donald, and SS Jordan “Will” Fuller providing consistent performances for new Rams Defensive Coordinator and former Falcons Interim Head Coach, Raheem Morris. The Rams have a tough schedule (10th in the NFL) but got a veteran QB who will surely be glad to have run support in Cam Akers newly-acquired Sony Michel from the Patriots (the football team, not the group of lunatics looking to take over Sacramento via a stupid state recall system) to ease pressure on WRs Cooper Kupp, DeSean Jackson, and Robert Woods. Stafford shouldn’t have to play from behind all the time like he did for the loser Lions so, no disrespect to Sean McVcVay, Stafford shouldn’t be chasing his 5,038 yard season passing record in 2021. He’s supposed to be Peyton Manning on the Broncos here.

The Rams are sitting at #5 on the ESPN Power Rankings and there’s no reason to think this team — with the usual caveats about injuries, COVID, wildfires consuming the entire state while all its residents help by posting memes — won’t be in the NFC championship game again. Figure them for a good 12 wins, Kupp as a FF stud, and for RAMSNATION to lead the league in fan fights.

.Or not. Who cares? This isn’t Buffalo or Green Bay. If the team sucks in December, their fans can all just go to the beach or star in a movie… but not learn how to drive.