JV NFL Opening(ish) Night! Open Thread

The tevee fuckadoos called last Saturday “Week Zero” – even though the results count (sorry, Cornfuckers).  So in a technical sense (the best kind of right!) tonight is Week 1 kickoff.  You have some halfway decent fixtures!

Temple (+14) at Rutgers (6:30, BTN)

Y’all remember I called (and wagered) the ML for Illinois?  I am now advising the same for Temple.  They are perpetually a pain-in-the-arse opponent, and this line seems a vast overreaction to the new manager bump and/or ded cat bounce (for 2020’s Schiano Men).  Expect some reversion to the mean in Year Two, as teenagers are quite adept at tuning out the yelling.

Boise State (+5) at UCF (7:00, ESPN)

Here’s your “fun and gun” offering, though Hitler Mice being at home robs us of the blue field.  But just think of how much #NuAIDS2 – Delta Force! they can take back to share with Idaho, and the rest of the Mountain West.  FUN SHIT!!

South Florida (+14) at NC State (7:30, ACCN)

I have to watch, so you should too.  Help a brutha out!!  Yes, this line makes me nervous, but only medium-ish.  The Bulls really should be shite, as I note in my full preview here.  Maybe wave to Hippo’s kid, as I imagine she will go?

Appalachain State (-10.5) v. East Carolina @ Richardson Plantation (7:30, ESPNU)

So much North Cakalaky, so little time!  Everyone around these parts generally likes Happy Appy, and despises EZU (even though their School of Music/music education program has really impressed me and oldest HippoSpawn).  As I have mentioned before, the worst fucking people in the world are EZU football/U*NC basketball hybrid fans.  See both bumper stickers on same car?  Run those motherfuckers into a goddamned pole.

Ohio State (-14) at Minnesota (8:00, Fox)

One hopes this is a sign that Fox will be more creative getting semi-interesting fixtures into non-traditional broadcast windows.  This will likely be the most value you can get on tOSU all season, so bet accordingly.  I also wonder how effective Mr. “Row the Boat” is, once you’ve heard his spiel a few pre-seasons already.

There can’t possibly be anything else going on that merits your attention.  Rob Manfred is a galactical disgrace.