Your “It’s 4 O’Clock Somewhere” NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s continue to nosh on games, shall we?

Browns/Chiefs:

How does a team committed to a power run game keep up with the Chiefs? My guess is that they need a special teams score and a few turnovers to narrow the scoring gap.

Fins/Pats:

The only jury that football fans would willingly sit on is the one regarding Tua. The catching talent he’s been given is okaaaay, when Fuller comes back from detention, that is. Oof! I just looked at the Pats morbid selection of wr’s. Backups as far as the eye can see, matey. Oh, you weren’t fooled by Agholor’s one-off last year, were you?

Pack/Saints:

I was impressed watching AJ Dillon this preseason. He’s a pilemover with one cutback in his running arsenal and has speed if he’s given space to get going. Henry Lite perhaps? That’s stretching it. Anyhoo, Bay of Green should be fine if Jones goes down.

Broncos/Giants:

As I told Hippo over the phone machines yesterday, Fangio seems to have a thing for rook Kadarius Toney. That just doesn’t make any sense. Speaking of rooks, did Javonte hurdle Gordon for the starter role at rb already? Williams sat the last preseason game while The Commissioner played. I’m reading too much into that, aren’t I?

Let’s watch some more games.

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Dunstan

Well, now. I still think Medvedev is going to find a way to blow this, but up two sets and a break is a nice position to be in….

Dunstan

Make that two breaks of serve.

Man, are the ESPN announcers pissed about this. They can’t make enough excuses for Djokovic. He’s tired, he’s 34 years old you know, maybe there’s something wrong with him… they wanted their HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE storyline and they don’t know what else to discuss now.

Gumbygirl

There IS something wrong with him! He’s an asshole.

hippofant

Thinking back a couple of years, I wonder how the “Baker Mayfield always drifts right” tendency was solved. Just a tire rotation and a realignment, maybe?

JustStopDude

Duct taped him to a chair and forced him to watch his progressive commercials on loop a la “clockwork orange”

Petronel

Dude ded in Jax’ville

litre_cola

Middle aged man moment. Anyone else hate all of these single digit players on both sides of the ball?

King Hippo

I like the chaos element, but I 100% get confused by it

Recovery Whiskey

Bring back numbers over 19 for QB and even it out.

King Hippo

I am not enjoying MIA/NE, but there has been some fantastic DB play, on both sides

Gatoraids

Call these refs the Orchids of Officiating cuz they are pulling for the Patriots

Dunstan

Old habits die hard.

King Hippo

I mean, their QB is wh, I mean not uppit…I mean a respectable citizen once more

King Hippo

Chefs look 100% boned here. Seeing some adjustments against the high-octane offense (see also Ball Control Saints aganst Bay of Green)

King Hippo

Is 32-6 a Most Glorious Scorinami?

Dunstan

Nay. For losing teams with 6 points, you need the winning team to either have 39 or 50+

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No. 39-6 is, though.

Doktor Zymm

Let us see if sling will let me watch on my phone from Ukraine. The safe money says ‘no’

Doktor Zymm

The safe money is correct

Doktor Zymm

Too lazy to try and vpn at midnight thirty, will check in with y’all later!

Gumbygirl

I was thinking of sending out a search party!

King Hippo

I only bet on the Donks when I am sure of a loss.

Doktor Zymm

Who’s winning?

litre_cola

You are taking me behind the woodshed in the Freezer Vodka league.

Doktor Zymm

I was just looking at that and I don’t believe those projections for a second

litre_cola

The Chubbdown seals it.

Doktor Zymm

He is killing it. It feels so odd to have a team where the best players are from the Browns, Bills, Rams, and Raiders

litre_cola

Crablegs, crablegs,crablegs

King Hippo

He was out of bounds goddamnit

Gatoraids

Factory of sadness has been outsourced to Atlanta

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck right-to-work states.

King Hippo

Let’s have Teddy Ballgame to Court Sutton pls

King Hippo

fading KHunt, nae Landry. That challenge flag was much appreciate

JustStopDude

Harrison Jr is an idiot, but can I point out the insanity of a coach throwing hands on a player on the sidelines and the player gets ejected after a phone call from New York?

King Hippo

the Natives must always know their place obvs

Redshirt

Its almost like NFL HQ influences the referee’s decisions.

Gumbygirl

That’s a td. Bastards.

King Hippo

LIFE IS SHIT AGAIN

Redshirt

How is the Saints up by 10? I’ve seen Winston play in person and I’m convinced he is colorblind.

Gumbygirl

The Schwartz is with them.

Redshirt

Cleveland Redacteds 8 – Kansas City Royals 3

…oh, sorry. The score threw me off.

Anthony In TX

Are the Eagles better than we thought or are the Falcons just that terrible?
Are the Bills contenders or pretenders?
Did the Titans use up all their magic last year?
How many games until Urban Meyer gets fired/dies of a heart attack?

Look for the answers to these and many other too-soon questions on a football website near you!

Gatoraids

As The Takes Turn

litre_cola

Falcons bad.
Bills still the Bills
Hippo always said stay away from the Titans
Urban leaves week 6.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think the Eagles might actually be better than expected. They won’t be good by any stretch of the imagination, but they won’t be blowing goats for pocket change either.

litre_cola

comment image

TheRevanchist

So, not as bad as the Jets, but not as good as the Lions showed today?

Brocky

Fuck you brocky – Alvin Kamura

Gumbygirl

Butker looks like a typo for Butler.

ballsofsteelandfury

Just checking on Redshirt…
comment image

Ok, he’s fine.

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Redshirt

Damn ectoplasm.

WCS

Gettin’ chippy in KC…

“Who has chips?”

— Andy R.

King Hippo

D-O-N-K-S!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I would very much like to see KC lose this matchup.

Gumbygirl

Counterpoint: Not to the Browns.

Redshirt

Exactly as planned. (drink Tums chewies from the bottle)

WCS

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

Cecil Rhodes

The Patriots are getting gashed by a guy named Ahmed the day after 9/11. Time for another war on terror.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Afghanistan is available for invasion.

litre_cola

I mean the 3rd invasion will work right?

hippofant

MISSION RECOMPLISHED!

Cecil Rhodes

”Don’t worry — we have ways of succeeding in developing countries where others have failed!”

-Comrade Xi Jinping

King Hippo

WHAT BOLLOCKS!!!! Lookit Cincy

Redshirt

HOW IS THAT NOT A FIRST DOWN?!

King Hippo

Why did WKRP call timeout?

Redshirt

Why call timeout? Win if you can; tie if you must.

King Hippo

IT STANDS WOO!!!!!!

Redshirt

This game is hurting me.

hippofant

You know you like it.

Gumbygirl

Feel better now?

hippofant

Everybody knows that the pain enhances the pleasure.

Cecil Rhodes

Raekwon looking more like Tupac out there, amirite?!!?!?

Brocky

Hey universe , you know how you went out of your way to limit my first round draft pick and team namesake to single digits?

Could you, you know, just do like half of that for Alvin kamura?

King Hippo

SUDDEN CHANGE, someone wake Redshirt!

WCS

Redshirt’s black heart grows three sizes.

Redshirt

What heart?

The Maestro

GREAT FACKIN’ RUN BY DAMIEN HARRIS

Recovery Whiskey

The rarely seen Penta-Box.

TheRevanchist

Holy shit, this 9er/Lion game!

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