Are you ready for some white-hot alpaca, um, football action?

To The Games!

TEAM/Bills:

As noted by revered commenter/shut-in Hippo last week, Josh Allen seems to have reverted back to some more ‘interesting’ habits. Remember that fella what flung the ball willy nilly all over the field? He’s back! His rate of uncatchable passes is at 25% after two weeks. There’s plenty of time to right those wrongs but I think, deep in his unvaccinated heart, this is the way he likes to play.

Bears/Browns:

Fields of Fire? (Big Country reference, Woo!) Not exactly last week-6-13, 60 yards and 1 Int. Still, he gives Chicago fans something that you can’t quantify (yet) and that is Hope.

Ravens/Lions:

Marquise Brown has been something of a disappointment given his 1st round pedigree but if there wasn’t the 2nd year breakout there could always be the 3rd year one, right? The O/U on this travesty is 49.5 and one would think that the Ravens do most of the heavy lifting to get both squads close.

Colts/Titans:

Wentz wandered on to the practice field Friday on his wonky ankles so the fun of a two qb shuttle system has been denied us. NO FUN, always and forever. I’ll be harping on Henry’s yards after contact numbers all year long I suppose. His total of 201 would lead the league still if they were the only ones counted.

Chargers/Chiefs:

Is this where CEH (and his owners, oof, that doesn’t sound right) gets off? LA has allowed the most yards to rb’s at 287 over two weeks. Chris Liss of Rotowire pointed out that he’ll never be the typical back in an Andy Reid O because Patty doesn’t dump off to rb’s when the play breaks down. How many times have we seen him scramble, look for Hill/Kelce or just take off himself?

Saints/Pats:

The N.E. D has impressed so far but they’ve done it vs undermanned o-lines and squonky qb’s. Winston was somewhat limited in what he could do last week by the game script so the jury is still out to whether he’s gonna set the world on fire or immolate himself.

Falcons/Giants:

Dimes is the 5th ranked fantasy qb and should dine on an ATL D that did nothing to fix their defensive woes. If Golladay finally feasts who will he yell at? The Giants o-line is ranked 31st in pass-blocking. The good news? The Falcons pass rush is ranked 32nd.

Bengals/Steelers:

The Ben is dealing with a pec owchie and is missing his fave catchman in Johnson. Could we see an ambush here? I sure do like the quadret(?) of Burrow, Mixon, Higgins and Chase and the firepower it brings but maybe it’s too early to ask for a road win vs a squadoo that has a history of turning your lights out.

Cards/Jags:

There was plenty of squawking about Laviska’s breakout year and his role as a Deebo type-a guy that could take a short pass at/behind the line of scrimmage and find yards. Whelp, he’s got 47 of those yards on 16(!) targets. I’m betting on a heart ailment derailing Meyers’ year. You?

Go ahead and do it. And then comment below.