Holy shit, do I regret wasting my naptime yesterday. I could have used a nap in that dire noon window of JV fixtures.
Today I learned nothing. Except that UGA is as good as everyone thinks.
Florida (-7.5) at Kenfucky (6:00, ESPN)
This is almost always an excellent game, that Blue Moons almost always fucks up at the death.
Baylor (+4) at Oklahoma State (7:00, ESPN2)
Surprise Undefeated? Meet Other Surprise Undefeated! The consent abstinent against the BDSM enthusiasts – should be fascinating as to who imposes their will on the other, eh?
UConn (+14.5) at Vanderbilt (7:30, ESPNU)
YES, tonight’s slate is so bad that I can highlight this clash of titans. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD VANDY BE THIS HEAVILY FAVOURED. I moneyline bet the Fightin’ Horatios (+450), and expect to be kicking myself for betting only $30.
Auburn (+4) at LSU (9:00, ESPN)
Surprise Mediocrity? Meet Other Surprise Mediocrity. The loser of this game will have a verrrrrryyyyyy rough week with the alumni/sports talk callers.
Arizona State (+3) at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)
Seriously, even the Tweaker Slate is meh. This is really the best I can do, hoping that Herm Plays to WIN the GAME away to Westwood Klavern. YMMV.
Just a magnificent display of absolute dipshittery on that drive by UConn. Truly stunning.
The interim UConn coach looks like Marc Trestman’s somehow even creepier uncle.
He’s got a Super Bowl ring he picked up along the way, and he’s wearing it on the sideline.
It’s hilarious, and UConn is still terrible at football, but credit where it’s due, he’s got them playing hard and producing close, (I cannot in good conscience say “good”), games, which is more than that piece of shit Edsall has done in 4 years.
Whatever happened to Marc Trestman’s Windowless Van?
/hangs head in GAMBLOR shame
It wasn’t you fault. 4th and 4 and giving up a 19-yard pass play is just, well, it’s really something that just happened.
Consolation pill for Hippo?
I can reward myself for making the bed?
You’ve earned it, sport!
ONE STOP, you beautiful exurban Noo Yawkers!
Vandy drive starts with…12 men on the UConn kickoff team.
I mean
UCONN UWINN?
1 pt lead, 1:07 to go, Vandy on their own 40
Victory pill for Hippo?
Oh.
My.
God.
Holy shit, what a catch by some guy wearing a UConn uniform!
UConn did a good?
And follow that up by getting called for a false start by the entire line, on a 2 pt. conversion attempt. Which they just failed.
This game really has been performance art.
I mean, if you flip between that and the Auburn-LSU game, it’s not even the same sport.
OH THAT 4TH AND 18 PLAY
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was out earlier, so maybe this has been discussed, but it looks like “Urban Meyer is a hypocritical piece of shit” is never not the safe bet.
https://twitter.com/ActionNetworkHQ/status/1444461874448252930
The word on the street is that Urban Meyer is a horrible human being, even by college coach standards.
I am shocked that this would be true of a man who vouched for Aaron Hernandez. Shocked I tell you.
See also Kiffen, Lane. Or Kelly, Brian (did u noe he killed a kid??)
He’s wearing a long-sleeve, button down shirt – with SHORTS and SNEAKERS??
/truly MOAR animal than man
//and how he can play grab ass like that without a macing, in this day and age…
and how he can play grab ass like that without
He DID coach at Ohio State
I think you mean THEEEEE Ohio State – 75% of Ohio’s GED recipients, in unison
OK, a touchdown wins this game, and more importantly, makes Hippo look SMRT in front of his imaginary friends. Remember, it’s UConn – not UCan’t!
Narrator: They, in fact, could NOT
Vandy still needs another, let’s see, (unzips pants), 11 points to cover. YOU CAN STILL WIN $30!!
I bet the moneyline, Good Sir! They must win outright!!
Oh. Oh dear.
Your Troy Palamaulu look-alike quartered back got hurt. If that hadn’t happened, I truly believe this was a GOOD IDEA.
That’s what I gather.
Krajewski, the current QB, was highly anticipated coming in, but as near as I can tell didn’t deserve much of those accolades.
Ah, Bo Nix is back in the game.
So it’s nothing like Fulham.
We sincerely regret the error.
He did a wonderful thing, so if he’s truly Fulham, he’ll shit the bed heartily in short order.
Vandy’s QB is about the only thing keeping UConn in the game. He sucks.
Wild finish to the Roughrider Stampeders game.
Kicker recovered the onside kick
Sounds like closing time at a gay bar.
Bleergh has decided to settle in Vanderbilt tonight.
THIS BO NIX I CALL HIM FULHAM BECAUSE HE’S BEEN RELEGATED (to the bench)
MotherFUCKER
Don’t worry, if he’s anything like the actual Fulham he’ll be right back in the next series.
Then back on the bench, then back in, then back on the bench, and so on and so forth.
Yeah. Fulham fandom is fun!
Back from San Bernardino, huge car show. Gumby was in pig heaven, bless him! Did I miss anything good?
“huge car show”
really hoping it was all about this
Lots of lowriders. Lots of everything, really. Thirties stuff through recent cars.We got there right when they had the ladies parade around the block. People had tents and were grilling right on the sidewalk. It was nice.
Got the Lester Bangs book “Psychotic Reaction and Carburetor Dung”. Read the first chapter and discovered both are albums by The Count Five. Played the Psychotic Reaction album, absentmindedly, in my Übermobile, and I’ll be goddamned if some 20 year old sorority girl didn’t compliment the music. I wonder if he’d have liked or hated that.
At my age if a 20-year-old anything says something I’m up to is cool I take that and run.
Tell us more about this sorority girl and what she did with her fellow sorority girl in your backseat.
“Dear DFO I never believe your stories were true, but…”
I’m such a Dad as an Uber driver. You want your kids to get me, you know? I won’t drive away till I know you’re at the right place. I have puke bags under my seat. I’ll sacrifice a half hour to sit in the Cook Out drive thru, because I know how important that greasy meal is. They’re good kids, and since I’m 50, I feel like they could be mine. So that’s how I treat them. They seem to like me, so I’m happy.
I could use a handjob, though.
/JOKE!
I’m the same IRL but as a Commentist I can be an asshole.
Keep doing the right thing and eventually you’ll be rewarded with that (sadly age-appropriate) handy.
To be clear, I was not offering my services.
[shoves money back in tube sock]
Good God, I love you guys.
Just came in from Mexican beers with friends, and what the hell is going on with the Men of Storrs!?
Oh, OK. That’s more like it.
Parlayed Auburn (+164) down 7-0, UCLA -2.5 (-120), and Hawaii (+300).
A buck gets me $18.
Fantasy advice.
Carson @ SF or Clyde @ Iggles?
Carson. Tomorrow gonna be all about Mahomes.
Thanx. Gidddyup!
You’re welcome! Also, I may be horrifically wrong!
[changes team name to “Horrifically Wrong”]
[crosses arms. nods knowingly]
Early 3rd, Nebraska’s up 42-7 on Westnorthern. Them Cats must be bad, because the Cornfuckers ain’t good.
I’m watching Chicago play St. Louis in one of the strangest college football games I’ve ever seen.
Several of them safety things apparently.
Clemson in a tight game with Boston College, is it christmas already?
Also funny that Clem’s son has been relegated to the ACC Network.
UConn’s got a chance in November!
/they absolutely do not
Oh my cats, Kenfucky didn’t Kenfucky it up!!
When they last beat UF at home, Reagan was not only still President, he also might have still even KNOWN he was still President.
January 1981?
Musta been EARLY 80s.
That fucking guy did so much damage to this country.
And continues to. Trump was the ultimate culmination of the GOP design that started with Nixon, exploded with Reagan, and was continued faithfully with the Bushes.
Couldn’t agree more.
Started with the Goldwater campaign. (am reading the Perlstein books)
Good point.
“Nixonland” is a fantastic book that explains a lot, and Barry Goldwater comes across as the guy most disgusted with what was happening. Another great book is is “RN” written by none other than Richard Nixon. It’s his autobiography. Most of the book he describes international and domestic politics, and it’s really interesting, and he was brilliant (yet extremely paranoid). However, when it gets to Watergate, the narrative changes like it’s a third grader making poor excuses about stealing cookies. The contrast is striking. It’s a good book though, worth reading if you’re interested in that stuff.
It was the movement that was evil, more than the individual (at least national) candidates. But it all just went lower and lower until the machine ran a true sociopath (Trump).
I’m reasonably confident that Goldwater himself ended up voting for Obama.
I think Trump was a con man with no political (or moral) affiliations who found a good scam and a bunch of suckers who who would buy it.
yeah, I think he started that way, but then he liked having the power and started believing his own bullshit.
Absolutely
Found a funny;
Pumpkins are so versatile. They can be food, decorations, a canvas for art. A friend. A lover.
Hey! My alma mater is winning against UNLV!
UTSA eh? I didn’t even know there was a San Antonio in Utah.
Free whores after the game!
Didn’t realize Western Nurses Online Academic Concern had a football team.
Hey Brocky, why ain’t Indiana no good?
Dont gonna tell anyone how to run their business, but the fact I cant find the dune sci fi channel miniseries anywhere is a failure on fbe entire human race
Didn’t you hear? There’s an intergalactic guild that controls all access to previous iterations of Dune. You just have to pay them. But then there’s this whole Emperor thing, and I guess you need his permission as well even if you have money? Oh boy this is getting complicated.
I just yelled a bunch of words at the TV while drinking blue raspberry soda. I think I’m doing something wrong
Explosions In The Sky (one of my all-time favorite bands and, incidentally, also from Texas) dropped a new album yesterday. It’s the soundtrack to a documentary about Big Bend, which is a stunningly beautiful part of Texas. It’s not the big soundscapes they’re known for, but it’s no less lovely and makes for terrific dinner/background music, or any time you just want something warm and chill.
https://open.spotify.com/album/7w3BcToSqLYL2z3HOgMWwv?si=cP3vAHLSSMuU502DVt6zYg&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1
I will have to investigate this. I have a lot of good memories of West Texas over the last 45 years.
First time I went to Big Bend was an 8th grade class trip. Had my first kiss there. It was an incredible trip, and not just because it advanced my puberty by a few degrees.
Piker. Gumby got caught fucking his girlfriend on an 8th grade trip to Paris.
I loved their stuff on and off ever since friday night lights, the film
Urban Meyer doesn’t appear to be handling losing very well.*
https://rooster.substack.com/p/dubin-dad-could-be-headed-to-divorce
*ALLEGEDLY
UConn is drivin’ he-ah!
Mixed bag on The Many Saints of Newark.
I liked it but it was kinetic as fuck to start. Felt like they were trying to connect the dots to the series too fast. It settled down and became a little more organic. No spoilers but the actors who played the younger versions of the familiar characters did a great job with voices/ mannerisms etc.
The choice for Tony’s mom was inspired.
I feel the same, but I thought it was simply trying too hard.
I’m dissapointed because of the lack of screen time that Tony’s dad has, I was under the impression he was the main influence on Tony.
I loved Corey stoll as junior. Could’ve done without the extra political analysis thats seemingly crammed into every film about the sixties
As I said previous, I was burned by the Breaking Bad fan-servicey thing, and then nauseated by the horrible Deadwood movie. Not worth the risk!
What’d you say about my mom???
In Hell, the only TV options this week are MRSA/P*ts and Yankees/SAWX Wild Card
As a Texan and Cowboys hater, I’d like to add “the only Sunday afternoon game available in your market is Cowboys vs. other NFC East team” to the list.
Personalized Hell, the scariest of concepts.
For Hippo: just an infinity of women who look like Grimace, with no shoulders.
aaaaaggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
Random thought: it’s crazy to me that this was a real, actual ad campaign that a company paid real, actual money for:
https://youtu.be/ZuPTZWhz46M
Aaaaand let’s just check in on how Quiznos is doing these days…
It’s a shame, too, because Quiznos was infinitely superior to Subway. Somehow Subway managed to win the sub wars.
I thought Brick won.
Possibly the worst thing Jared ever did, kill Quiznos
Ain’t no possibly about it. I mean, nothing else comes to mind.
The ads on the UConn/Vandy tilt are…3am public access-calibre
SEC officials seem suspicious of these northern Kentuckians; why are they wearing blue, anyway?
Page UConn Superfan Ron Paul because It’s Happening!!!!!
Thanks for playing, Pac 12, try again next season!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jz1TjCphXE&ab_channel=DK1536
It’s the Pac-12, and we still dont know what targeting is.
Stanford’s about to win this damn game
“This new sarcasm font is the greatest thing ever!” is the best dad joke ever.
Stanford ties the game on the last play of regulation, heading to OT.
Pac12BeforeDark
“Hey, WCS, what’s it like being a WVU fan?”
I am watching a streamed production (middle school AV club quality) of NC State struggling to stay in front of Louisiana Tech.
But tonight is ALL ABOUT THEM FIGHTIN HORATIOS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1Sq1Nr58hM
In the all-Tigers game, I like the team that doesn’t hate their QB (that being LSU).
Accordingly, bet the house on Auburn.
(But alls I really cares about tonite is Bruin victory)
Auburn typically serves as chaos merchants.
Chaos would include firing your native-son head coach less than 3 years after winning a national championship because he lost to a conference rival.
Bet Auburn.
Noteworthy, if you’re so inclined: the Shutdown Fullcast crew will be at the UConn/Vandy game and will be livecasting afterward. Hilarity is sure to ensue.
Stanford seems to have gotten all new Nike shoes and jerseys for this second half against Oregon–oh and now losing all of a sudden.