2021 Quotables – Week 5 (Results)

Look, I’m tired but I’m also much too proud to ask anyone to cover for me here. Why? Because, like ol’ Double-J, I’d rather put up a pile of garbage molded by [holds up two ashy appendages] THESE HANDS! [lowers aforementioned appendages] than go all…well….all…look, John Gruden knows what I’m talking about with this picture of billionaire owner Bryan Glazer, about it.


So I’m just gonna leave your submissions here and your Week 5 Quotables results are below.


“Actually the dislocated finger is a nice palate cleanser for those uniforms.” – Danny Husk’s Indomitable Earnestness

“…and so when I saw the Vin Diesel tweet, where he sang about his late friend Paul Walker, well dammit I’m not made of stone.” – SonOfSpam

“A redundancy of confederates?” -Warthog

“Of course he’s still hungry, he’s been feasting on his imaginary friends, the Houston ‘Texans'” – BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Who do I have to finger around here to get a call benefiting my team?” – ArmedandHammered

“THESE GUYS THE JETS, I CALL THEM THE LUFTWAFFE BECAUSE THEY’RE FLYING AROUND LONDON LOOKING TO DROP BOMBS BUT DOING MINIMAL DAMAGE!”– LemonJello

“Gruden went on to say ‘I just want to apologize to everyone I may have offended, including all of the n*****s, sp**s, qu***s, f****ts, d*gos, micks, ki**s, and dy**s.’ as his publicist poured gasoline over himself before sitting down in the middle of a busy intersection and striking a match.” – Horatio Cornblower
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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jjfozz

Current situation: Mrs. Fozz out at parents’ house. three kids here. good friend coming over. two glasses of Elijah Craig down.

Things might be bourbly tonight

Game Time Decision

Can’t wait

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS GUY BLAXABBATH, I CALL HIM BUD SELIG BECAUSE HE WANTS EVERYBODY TO FORGET WHEN HE USED REPLACEMENT PLAYERS IN THE PAST

Dunstan

Earlier today I was getting some weird error message like “Nonce is invalid,” and I was wondering if the DFO server was speaking Middle English or something.

Doktor Zymm

I firkin hate that!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did someone say merkin?

No? Well can I still sell you this gently used merkin?

SonOfSpam

This is good stuff:
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Dunstan

Well, if you’re going to have a merkin, you’d want it to be velvet.

SonOfSpam

ONLY THE FINEST FABRIC FOR MY ERSATZ PUBES!

(writes down “Ersatz Pubes” on 2022 FFL team name list)

Dunstan

I saw Ersatz Pubes open for the Sex Pistols once.

Gumbygirl

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TheRevanchist

Ertz trade news? ERTZ TRADE NEWS!

That’s right. Julie Ertz is going to move a lot closer to me with her soon-to-be-divorced-from husband being traded to the Qards.

rockingdog

LoL

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LemonJello

Horatio’s submission was incredible.

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