2021 Quotables – Week 5 (Results)

blaxabbath - October 15, 2021October 15, 2021

Look, I’m tired but I’m also much too proud to ask anyone to cover for me here. Why? Because, like ol’ Double-J, I’d rather put up a pile of garbage molded by [holds up two ashy appendages] THESE HANDS! [lowers aforementioned appendages] than go all…well….all…look, John Gruden knows what I’m talking about with this picture of billionaire owner Bryan Glazer, about it.

So I’m just gonna leave your submissions here and your Week 5 Quotables results are below.

*“Actually the dislocated finger is a nice palate cleanser for those uniforms.”* – Danny Husk’s Indomitable Earnestness

*“…and so when I saw the Vin Diesel tweet, where he sang about his late friend Paul Walker, well dammit I’m not made of stone.”* – SonOfSpam

*“A redundancy of confederates?”* -Warthog

*“Of course he’s still hungry, he’s been feasting on his imaginary friends, the Houston ‘Texans'”* – BrettFavresColonoscopy

*“Who do I have to finger around here to get a call benefiting my team?”* – ArmedandHammered

*“THESE GUYS THE JETS, I CALL THEM THE LUFTWAFFE BECAUSE THEY’RE FLYING AROUND LONDON LOOKING TO DROP BOMBS BUT DOING MINIMAL DAMAGE!”*– LemonJello

“Gruden went on to say ‘I just want to apologize to everyone I may have offended, including all of the n*****s, sp**s, qu***s, f****ts, d*gos, micks, ki**s, and dy**s.’ as his publicist poured gasoline over himself before sitting down in the middle of a busy intersection and striking a match.” – Horatio Cornblower

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blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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jjfozz

October 15, 2021 6:06 pm

Current situation: Mrs. Fozz out at parents’ house. three kids here. good friend coming over. two glasses of Elijah Craig down.

Things might be bourbly tonight

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Admin

Reply to jjfozz

October 15, 2021 8:46 pm

Can’t wait

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Admin

October 15, 2021 4:17 pm

THIS GUY BLAXABBATH, I CALL HIM BUD SELIG BECAUSE HE WANTS EVERYBODY TO FORGET WHEN HE USED REPLACEMENT PLAYERS IN THE PAST

Dunstan

October 15, 2021 3:16 pm

Earlier today I was getting some weird error message like “Nonce is invalid,” and I was wondering if the DFO server was speaking Middle English or something.