Your Regular NFL Football Open Thread

To The Games!

Packers/Bears:

My kingdom for a competent qb! GB’s secondary is quite generous and now Kevin King is down and out. You’d think that A-Rob will finally feast but he’s wonky because the Bears passing game has produced all of 566 yards in five weeks. Davante has no such issues-he has 42 more targets than the next wr. What can you say, the guy gets open.

Bengals/Lions

With the exception of that 24-10 whooping that they gave the Steelers, all of Cincy’s games have been decided by 3 points. Winning close games is good for a young team that is finding their way. Now if Zac Taylor decision-making improves…

Texans/Colts:

Did Davis Mills’ heart (and ability) grow three sizes last week? The Pats forced him to throw downfield which was not a strength of his and he responded with a 7-10, 211 yards, 3 TDs line. Is this the start of something?

Rams/Giants:

Say a prayer for the retreads and never-were’s that constitute NY’s interior o-line because The Donald is coming to town. PFF ranks that part of the line as 27th in pass-blocking efficiency. Is Kadarius elusive? Over the last two games he’s created 8 missed tackles and at 190 pounds, he’s not exactly stiff-arming his way to that total.

Chiefs/TEAM:

What’s happening with Washington’s D? The d-line’s numbers in pass rush and run stop rates are top 15 so they’re okay. It’s the coverage that the secondary, particularly safeties Collins and McCain, are not providing that is the problem. Last I heard, McLaurin was playing.

Vikes/Panthers:

McCaffrey is on the shelf (IR) and Darnold did his bit by rushing for 5 TD’s over two games but you had to know that was an outlier. No one will remember their 3-0 start as they try to work their way through the league’s 2nd-hardest remaining schedule.

Chargers/Ravens:

Something called Carson Wentz went for 402 yards vs these formerly formidable birds so Herbert might have himself a day. If you have Mike Williams in fantasy, congrats, you did a good. He’s trending towards playing.

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blaxabbath

Say what you will about Sam Darnold’s appearance, this drive has me convinced he’s one of those idiot-savants, at worse.

Gatoraids

Sudden Game of Change

Horatio Cornblower

We have bananacakes in Carolina!

Sharkbait

SCORIGAMI!

Gatoraids

NFL Dead Zone

King Hippo

Who would have thunk it, LOLfins/Jaguras was the BEST of the early fixtures??

Gatoraids

MIA fans

alonzo-mourning.gif
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My favorite thing is a sad Justin Herbert on the sidelines, with his coach INSISTING that the Disney Channel will be back.

Doktor Zymm

Hail Nary a Mary in Soldier

NotShogunButShogun

This town gon drank ALL the gravy tonight.

King Hippo

The Chi**** crowd is apparently like family to A.A. Ron.

King Hippo

Scott Hansen referenced Scorinami WOO

NotShogunButShogun

Are the Texas Texans just that bad‽ Because I refuse to believe the dolts are good.

Doktor Zymm

The who what now?

NotShogunButShogun

TY gets owwie. He gets up, crowd acts like jebus came back.

Doktor Zymm

And it didn’t even take 3 days!

Horatio Cornblower

Good thing the Giants yanked Jones out of the concussion protocol for this.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if Corona is gonna fire Romo and bring back Gruden as call-desk support.

Horatio Cornblower

The Corona virus would do less damage as the spokesperson.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Every time they give the name of the announcer of this Texans game, I think of Nixon’s first VP.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d like to see Kevin Hart make some penalty calls like a Ref.

Doktor Zymm

Ah, Team reverting to the mean

Doktor Zymm

This early slot has more blowouts than a Republican sorority fundraiser

NotShogunButShogun

And cue the 4th quarter collapse. Horseys can’t count.

Doktor Zymm

It’s true, even those trained horses that can supposedly do arithmetic are really just following cues from a human that gives them treats

Col. Duke LaCross

Akiem Hicks, injured.

Water, wet.

Doktor Zymm

The Ravens Super Bowl ring hats, the tackiest thing ever?

Sharkbait

Up there. That’s for sure

Don T

Even RuPaul finds them garish.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d say the tackiest thing *ever* would be “a masseuse’s hand towel after a visit from Bob Kraft” but those hats are not a terribly distant second.

Don T

We go to the Meadowlands, where the Giants have the ball
https://youtube.com/watch?v=W4DKLqnyBAQ

King Hippo

Consecutive offsides on 3rd and 10, Dacteds gonna Dacted after all.

Gatoraids

lul WTFs lined up offsides

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I genuinely believe that Monica Seles should sue DirecTV for Willfull Infliction of Emotional Distress

/is married to a lawyer, so I know better than to ask her about stuff like this and find out that it would be a dumb instant loser of a lawsuit

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
NotShogunButShogun

Fun fact: the popup medical tents cost 8 grand each.

King Hippo

I mean, you gotta pay if ya wants TEH MAGIC!

Don T

Them FEMA-grade tarps ain’t cheap

King Hippo

We obvs trust DonT on all matters tarp!

/ducks

Gatoraids

playing Returnal on the ps5 to simulate the futility of Dolphins fandom

NotShogunButShogun

I am not at all familiar with this horsey team.

King Hippo

NC State up to #18 in the new poll (Sanchize territory). Beat Miami next week, get into Chmura range. Maybe even Trestman??

Don T

I’m digging the hell of these 4th & short, field position deniers. Amen, bros.

Gatoraids

Going for it on 4th in the 3rd from your 19

spaceMadness.jpg
Doktor Zymm

Will the Lyons win a game this year?

King Hippo

I bet they win Thanksgiving

Don T

vs. Vanderbilt? I dunno…

Doktor Zymm

And now I’ve replaced the stabilization rod in the bathroom above the table rack (that the shitty painters removed and didn’t put back) and wiped down the whole thing. Woo, productive!

Gatoraids

marinating wings is the best I can manage today, still better than the dolphins

Doktor Zymm

Marinated wings sound tasty

Gumbygirl

What is this “table rack” and why don’t I have one? You is fancy!

Doktor Zymm

Excuse me, I meant toilet rack. It is almost exactly this: comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Doktor Zymm
Gumbygirl

Ohhh.That makes sense.

Doktor Zymm

It really needs to be cross braced, might rig something later

Anthony In TX

Last year, Patrick Mahomes had a particularly great game with some heroic throws (I don’t remember the opponent) and my Twitter feed was FULL of people declaring him the undisputed GOAT.
He’s obviously one of the best and most talented QBs in the NFL, but I was legitimately shocked at how many people were ready to hand him the crown of “greatest QB ever.”
He’s come down to earth a bit this season and I don’t know why, but I wonder if those people calling him the GOAT would be willing to stand by their convictions from 2020.

clint greasewood

New show coming to Fox this fall. EMT:New York Giants

comment image

Gatoraids

NYC Black And Blue cuz they are always showing their ass

King Hippo

FattyCEPTION!!!

Sharkbait

I tried telling Mrs Sharkbait that 28-3 wasn’t an insurmountable lead, but couldn’t say it with a straight face. She’s less than thrilled.

King Hippo

Tell her at least Dimebag won’t remember this game, so he’ll easily be able to wipe the slate clean for next week.

Sharkbait

The kicker is she started RAMMMMIT D and Henderson. So at least her team is doing well

King Hippo

It’s almost like playing a guy with scrambled eggs for brains ain’t a good idea.

Spur

It is time to snack comment image

Gatoraids

Thats Andy Reid version of a salad

King Hippo

We would have also accepted “light breakfast”

Anthony In TX

I’m gonna make “SWEET MAUI ONION!” a new expression, along with “Tiffany, you useless lesbian!”

Spur

This Giant team may not be very good.

clint greasewood

Mahomes paying the Patrick price.

Doktor Zymm

Is Team D getting their groove back, or is Mahomes just having a shitty day?

Gatoraids

Head and Shoulders curse

Spur

Justin Fields showing those OSU QB smarts

King Hippo

Touch of Downs counter-raises with 5/17 and a pick, and two consecutive timeouts

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Seals jonze

Doktor Zymm

I do like the Bears’ socks. Ublike the Bears, stripes are underrated.

Anthony In TX

Some teams that have awesome sock stripes in their history have gone solid-sock, which is just a massive downgrade, visually speaking.

Spur

comment image

blaxabbath

“I’d line Lamar up on the sideline with that defender coming in low any day!”

-M Shanahan

Doktor Zymm

I did some half-assed work around the condo this morning, so I think it is now wine and cheez balls time!

Spur

I have vodka chilling for the Dallas game. Hate Drinking or Happy Drinking – its really the same

Sharkbait

Well deserved.

Game Time Decision

Didja get the painting done?

Doktor Zymm

It is gonna takes months to get it all done cuz I am only doing about a wall per day, but I did assemble a table, carry some stuff up from the basement, take out a bunch of empty boxes, dust the radiators, and wash a few dishes. Also figured out what I need to buy to rewire the vintage lighting fixtue I bought

Spur

I don’t think this is the first time Rodgers has had his way with a bunch of Bears

clint greasewood

Prayers for all the Chili’s waitresses in Heathrow Airport now that Urban has a W under his belt.

blaxabbath

::Grins::

-U. Meyer, carefully filing his nails

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

>…under his belt.

More like “under the apron” but I get your drift.