Not much going on today that I noticed but as always, we’ll do something.
Newsy Notes:
-The Old, Gray Mare, err, running back Adrian Peterson managed to latch onto the teat of the Seahawks. He’s a mere 367 yards away from supplanting Barry Sanders-a guy that knew when to quit-for 4th all-time in rushing. And he’s going to get there! Unless Seattle discovers what the Lions and Titans discovered-there’s no tread left on those tires.
-I Knew It But Ignored It: Saquon has yet to run for 60+ yards in a game this year.
-The NFL is going to be doing a “Responsible Gambling” PSA during games going forward! In related news, they’ve put a cap of six ads for gambling sites for any game. [meanwhile, Goodell blows his nose with a Franklin]
-More Related News: Nevada gambling houses surpassed the “billion dollars bet” mark in October for the first time ever. Woo!
-Pour one out for Bama: Their streak of being the favored team just ended at 92 straight. They are a 6 1/2 point dog to the Dawgs.
To The Game!
Cowboys/Saints:
-Coach McCarthy is a Covid no-show tonight so the mighty Dan Quinn, the DC, steps in.
-You know, to me it’s been a bit of a mystery as to why this supremely talented Dallas team just can’t seem to get its shit together. And then it all became clear. BEN FUCKING MCADOO (ex-Giants fuckup) IS ON THE COACHING STAFF! His sorta title is “Consultant to the Coaches”. What? Who the hell would want to know how to lose a locker room in less than a year? Sorry, Horatio-that stink doesn’t come out easily.
-Kudos to Zeke for trying to work through a nagging knee injury but he’s lacking that extra Oomph! that has put defenders on their backs in the past.
-Kamara is out and so are starting tackles Armstead and Ramczyk. In? Only the likes of Lamb, Amari Cooper and The Marcus Lawrence.
-These squadoos are a combined 1-7 over the last four weeks. I’m leaning towards the Cowboys winning but perhaps the Saints can get back to .500 behind a throaty crowd in the dome. They still play in a dome, right?
Have at it.
Can Maroni’s trumpet sound the Price Is Right losing horn?
MarbleCon better not end up like the anime con with Omicron.
Which Transformer is Omicron?
The Greek one (which means he likes it in the tailpipe)
Doesn’t really narrow it down much.
More like MarbleCRON amirite?
Which Con has the Necronomicon?
Steve Bannon, I think.
Stephen Miller always looks like he’s fixing to sprout horns.
The smell will be unbearable
I hope Double J makes Quinn and McCarthy wrestle over who gets the head coach headset.
WWE or Greco-Roman style?
nude Greco-Roman
Zeke’s neon green cleats are distracting. Hurting my eyes
Hey everyone
HI
Do yourself a favor and check out the previous post if you haven’t already. It’s something.
[blushes]
[realizes you are referring to Game Time Decision’s post]
[quietly adds “SonOfSpam” to the enemies list]
[realizes it had already been added four times prior to today]
Oh. I meant yours. But GTD’s is great too!
I have failed, will blame my stupid job.
I did not realize there was another post after the Raiders one.
Sorry for the confusion if anyone actually followed my advice.
PLEASE READ EVERY POST THEY ARE ALL EXCELLENT!!!
Keep digging mate.
You could drown in my flop sweat right now.
Is spam’s defense, that cover pic on GTD’s post is fantastic.
Agreed, it’s perfect.
Thank you for coming to my defense. A gently-used Fleshlight is in the mail.
Well I must say, starting this Taysom Hill fella has been a regular rolley-coaster thus far!
Wait. Guns N Roses is premiering a new video?
A music video. in 2021, ON NFL NETWORK???
You know it’s badass because they spelled SKOOL in a wacky manner.
Let’s see if it gets canceled because of “One In A Million”.
Lil’Jordan strikes again!
Well, at least the quarter went by quickly. Three more of those and we’re done!
-mom, watching me fail at Pac-Man at the pizza place in 1980
I’m calling this comment a bold-faced lie. I know your mother and she’d never give you a quarter.
Well, she’d done well at the corner earlier in the evening and
Neck go bendee, bad.
I’ve seen plenty of giraffes with broken necks.
I wonder if Seattle has anyone on the team willing to help encourage AP on his quest by following him down the field during rushing plays with a switch while yelling “You BETTA run!”
I’d say Marshawn, but he’s too busy enjoying his fattening retirement, as he ought.
One again, Clapp with the sort of penalty that really leaves you stinging.
Are munchies and stress eating the same?
depends on the ice cream intake volume. anything over a pint and its stress.
Gallup somehow managed to make a better catch than Lamb made a move on Jenkins.
And Lamb’s move was insane.
How many tamales has McCarthy had by now?
2/3rds of a Reid.
That’s half a Wade Phillips, if I’m remembering correctly?
Shoulda paid attention in Coach Portion Conversion 301.
You were too busy lost in Kliff Kingsbury’s eyes.
Sir, you need to remove the corn husk before you eat that.
Lamb deserved a touchdown for what he did to that poor cornerback.
Nods in Sherman Did Nothing Wrong
CeeDee Dancer
CeeDee E. Effgee
Greydick! Dingleberry! Yinzers! SKOL! Thursday Night Football next week!
Can someone tell the Saints and Cowboys they don’t have to wait for me to get home? I appreciate the gesture, but they can start playing without me watching.
Taysom is an ‘exciting’ player but that’s about it. Yes, he’ll hit that open guy but he’s such a shitty passer. If he hits a guy in a tight window it’s by accident.
Has anyone seen Taysom and Tebow in the same place?
One of those “Soaking Parties” the youths are participating in?
When you said “window” and “accident” I thought you were talking about the reason Eli got assigned to do yard work for old Mrs. Witherspoon for three whole weeks.
Ooh, a battle for 1st in the DFO fantasy league.
I’d say “I’m gonna beat Balls’ ass” but I don’t want him running in here all bonered up.
Your points against is something.
Defense wins championships.
Big Time Matchup this week. I am completely prepared to lose. I took one look at your lineup and went, “Oh shit.”
Yes, Kalief Raymond would scare anyone. Good luck!
How does Hill keep getting money for his job?
MORE money, each year he re-does his deal, it seems.
His mechanics are so bad that even I can tell.
Magic Undies
I hate him so fucking much.
Hinting at a 0-0 tie tonight?
I like that these teams are giving the ball back to each other without resorting to turnovers or punts or scoring.
Does Dak need glasses?
probably just misses his old glasses
That’s one of those classic “why is that so fucking funny?” lines.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
“Come on, seriously? You’ve wakened me from my slumber for *this*?” – Shan’Khor
yep, its gonna be one of those games again. Spurs game starts at 7pm
What’s the line on Kurt Warner not being vaccinated? -800? -900?
Vegas took that off the board when the first vaccine was announced.
I see they opened the playbook for Taysom
Sweet, a game I care about in 4K.
yup, Monkey Trev is THAT BAD, he could lose his jerb to a guy that throws like those on that drive
I wish TV was two-way because then Erin Andrews would have just seen me doing situps.
That’s one of those movies that should have been 15 minutes long. You live in the woods. You should have a shotgun. This problem solves itself.
Okay I switched the audio over to Storm-Kremer. Praying that this works.
Anyone know where one could sale ambergris without Uncle Sam asking any questions?
Iraq?
I assume Cecil would know.
Ask them:
The Sens are being out-shot 22-4. They’re up 1-0. Nothing about this team makes any sense whatsoever.
Evening Folks.
My wife just referred to Jay Glazer as “that gross little meatball man”
Andy Reid immediately schedules an appointment with Jay Glazer.
He’s been extended an invitation to participate as a general in the upcoming meatball wars.
I understood that reference!
Hippo, I just cooked the fam a healthy dinner but I want a shame pizza…
I just ATE some shame pizza!! Wallowing in the HEAVY SHAME now.
I need Ingram IIIII to have a shit night please. Praise Gamblor.
Found a cool;
https://publicdomainreview.org/features/entering-the-public-domain/2022/
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Antonio Brown was -300 as the first player to be caught using a fake vaccine card.</p>— J Moyer (@JMoyerFB) <a href=”https://twitter.com/JMoyerFB/status/1466529556622315523?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>December 2, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
Jesus, I’m like Charlie Brown with Lucy’s football. I’ll never learn.
Aren’t you in charge around here?
I mean, I’ve long viewed him as our General Haig
“Deep cut.”
-Ray Lewis
McAdoo being on the staff explains so much. Probably not as much as McCarthy being in charge of the increasing shitshow, but still, a lot.
Found a funny;
two cuomos down. Rivers sweating
Under, Dallas – 6.5, Zeke TD. Let’s gooooo!
This seems like a game Dallas should win 35-13 with all of the injuries, so it’s probably be 17-10 New Orleans.
Checking in from Work Purgatory.
Firing up Taysom Hill as my QB in ff tonight against Dallas 🏈
Hopefully he and the Saints are Rocking!!
Do you also have special Utah jammers on?
I know whatever I choose between pitch-county Cooper and insanely-high-variance-y Gallup will be the wrong decision.
Gallup
Someone went to hte store and bought a bunch of cookies and then opened the cookies and is now shoving them into my mouth. Someone halp!
“I’m sorry, I heard you needed help with something?”
“See, this is why you pay your personal chef, and you pay him well.” – Andy Reid
https://bucswire.usatoday.com/2021/12/02/nfl-buccaneers-antonio-brown-mike-edwards-suspension/